Two Plus Two Makes Five


Christopher Spivey


It is always easy to tell when the Chimp is making stories up… You see they always go completely over the top on their old bollox and the narrative always has more twists and turns than a pulp-fiction novel.

Now on this occasion I am referring to the story of the missing midwife, Samantha Eastwood – although her body has apparently now been found.

You see, Sam’s story started hitting the headlines on the 31st of July, 2018 – four days after she had gone missing:

‘Please god let her be safe’: Friends and family of missing midwife, 28, last seen leaving work make desperate Facebook appeal to find her – as police arrest man, 32, over disappearance

  • Midwife Samantha Eastwood, 28, vanished on way home from work last Friday
  • Police have arrested and bailed a man on suspicion of kidnapping Ms Eastwood
  • Her friends and family have made a desperate appeal for information 

A man arrested in connection with the disappearance of missing midwife Samantha Eastwood was held on suspicion of her kidnap, police have revealed.

The 32-year-old male, from Stoke-on-Trent, has since been released on conditional bail while enquiries continue. 

Detectives said they are becoming ‘increasingly concerned’ about Samantha’s welfare as it was ‘completely out of character’ for her not to be in contact with family and friends and not to turn up for work.

Detective Inspector Dan Ison, of Staffordshire Police, said: ‘We are continuing to treat this as a high risk missing person enquiry.

‘Our only aim is for a safe return of Samantha. The arrest was part of our on-going enquiries.

‘During any investigation of this nature, we would not rule anything out and need to explore all avenues with the aim of returning Samantha safe and well.’

Officers were today carrying out house to house enquires, local searches and trawling CCTV in an effort to trace Ms Eastwood’s movements.

Det Insp Ison added: ‘We would ask Samantha herself if she is able to let us or her family know she is safe and well or if anyone has seen her or knows her whereabouts to contact us as soon as possible. Source

PHOTO: Allegedly Samantha Eastwood although the photo blurb states: unnamed file 1397749200.jpeg

Check out the eyes in the photo… They look to have been altered.

Yet four days after an ADULT female disappeared, the old bill had made themselves that busy that they have managed to arrest a mush for her kidnap.

And despite apparently springing into immediate action (fuck everything else, despite supposedly operating at bare bones level) and arresting the fella, the cunts are asking Samantha to get in touch with them to let them know that she is safe!

So how the fuck could they arrest someone on suspicion of kidnap if they believe that she may just have fucked off for any number of reasons.

And since that farticle was released on the 31st of July, the Monkey Kuntz have released a staggering TWENTY NINE more, making a whopping FIVE farticles a day on the old fanny… Now why the fuck would the cunts be so keen to publicize this case?

After all, the wholly corrupt plod are unlikely to spring into action since someone in the UK is reported missing to the police every 90 seconds… That works out at nearly 1000 people being reported as missing to the police everyday, yet Sammi must be really special for the plod to drop everything in order to look for her.

Yet I do know that the police would do fuck all in the case of a missing adult for at least 48 hours since 87% of reported missing adults turn up under their own steam during that time frame. Therefore, they done fucking well in two days to arrest a bod on suspicion of kidnapping her and then leak the news to the national newspapers.

Indeed, since only 9% of missing adults fail to turn up within a WEEK of going AWOL, you really need to ask why the plod sprang into action so quickly in the first place. In fact it is almost as if the cunts KNEW that Sam was going to turn up brown-bread.

Therefore, I do not believe the old fanny for one second, especially since Samantha looks so much like the extremely dodgy MP for Lancaster and Fleetwood, Cat Smith.

PHOTO: Sam & Cat

You can read all about the Dodgy, Cat Smith by clicking HERE

Course, not only did the old bill spring so quickly into action, they did a brilliant job too since they have not only now arrested a bod for Sam’s murder, they have had him in court to boot:

The ex-fiance of murdered midwife Samantha Eastwood today visited her house to lay flowers – just hours after his brother-in-law appeared in court accused of her murder.

John Peake and Gemma Eastwood were accompanied by police liaison officers in unmarked cars at around 4.40pm. 

Peake arrived at her house in Stoke-on-Trent carrying a wreath of red and white flowers. Gemma also visited to pay her respects, leaving behind a framed picture of Samantha.

They spent around 10 minutes looking at other tributes and took some of the cards with messages on. Source

And the photos of Sam and her ex-fiance all appear to be faked.

PHOTO: Sam and her man – her face has been added to the photo and his mum or dad must have been a Giraffe.

But of course the Chimp already knows that.

Another give-away is the inevitable Go-Fucking-Fund-Me page set up by Sam’s ‘friend’ to pay for the funeral costs:

Ten Grand is a bit fucking steep… Indeed it makes you wonder why the relatives of the other 1640 people who die EVERY SINGLE DAY in the UK don’t set up Go-Fucking-Fund-Me pages. Especially since a Midwife earns annually, between £23,023 – £36,644 and upwards.

Don’t believe the truth.

Just sayin’.