Things That Make You Go “Ooh”: Part 1 – The Ballad of John & Boko


Christopher Spivey.


There has been more old fanny in the Chimp and the other Brit Shit-Rags this week than you would see at a geriatric orgy.

That much old fanny in fact that the sheer volume and frequency of the bullshit has been totally overwhelming and hard to keep up with.

Indeed, it truly is April Fools Day 365 days of the year when it comes to the MSM news.

Nevertheless, I have now just about managed to get the old fanny into some semblance of order although I have left a mountain of bullshit out… They really could and do make it up.

However, there is far too much shite to put into one article. Therefore this is the first in a series of articles about things that make you go “ooh“.

So lets start off with Dacre’s Dunces favorite whipping boys ISIS… And in particular the totally made up, hugely improbable IS Beatle, Jihadi John… Who we now know for proper, proper definite is Daktari Mohammed Ali Jassim Abdulkarim Olayan al-Dhafiri or Mo Him Was He Mo Emwazi for short… Don’t ask me why he’s Mo Emwazi for short, I haven’t got a Scooby.

Nevertheless, the cunts in the MSM have not had the sense to leave it alone – going on and on and fucking on about him until it just gets plain fucking daft… And still they continue.

Moreover, the fact that the FBI, MI6, MI5, ICI, MFI and McFly have allegedly known who Jihadi fucking John is since September 2014 – having identified him by the veins on his hands and the eyes in his head – didn’t stop the lying cunts from naming West London singer Dappy Rapper Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary as being their man:

Confusion reigns over the identity of the brutal ISIS executioner known as ‘Jihadi John’ after security experts now appear to dismiss suggestions he is a former rapper from west London.

The masked man, who speaks with a clear London accent, has appeared in two chilling videos showing him beheading American journalists and issuing a threat to kill a British hostage.

The main suspect in the sickening murders was thought to be Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary, the so-called hip hop jihadist who left his £1million home in Maida Vale to join Islamist militants fighting for the Islamic State group in Syria.

It is now understood however, that although officials are confident they have worked out the killer’s identity using high-tech analysis of his body and voice, they do not believe it to be Abdel Bary. Source

Course, it is easy to see where the mix-up occurred what with Dappy Bary and Mo having so much in common.

As do Dappy and Bary… Like the same fucking head and body for starters.


And as you probably know, Dapper Bary is from a well-to-do family from West London who: walked out of his family’s £1million home several months ago telling them he was ‘leaving everything for the sake of Allah. Source

Well, when I say “well-to-do”, Bary’s Dad was actually Osama Bin Liner’s right hand man:

The father of the ISIS militant suspected of being ‘Jihadi John’ today wept as he admitted plotting with Osama bin Laden to blow up U.S. embassies.

Adel Abdul Bary, 54, pleaded guilty to charges of making a threat to use an explosive device and conspiracy to murder Americans at Manhattan federal court.

His charges were in relation to the 1998 plot to bomb two U.S. embassies in Africa, which left 224 people dead, including 12 Americans.

The Egyptian lawyer, whose son, British rapper Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary, is suspected of beheading three hostages on video in Syria, made the guilty pleas in a bid to greatly reduce his sentence. Source

But at the end of the day he is also allegedly a Lawyer, and as such, he still falls into the well to do category.

Likewise, Mo – the really, really real Jihadi John – is described as being from West London:

They initially left their £600,000 London flat, where their rent was paid by Westminster Council, and moved into a property nearby. Source

So obviously Mo-Fo’s bro’s were only half as affluent as Bary’s brigade… But then again, Bary the Rapper’s dad was Bary Big in Al Qaida and a lawyer to boot.

Mo-Fo’s mob on the other hand are apparently benefit scroungers:

They have been receiving an estimated £40,000 a year in benefits since they sought asylum in Britain in 1993.

Not bad going, what with Mr & Mrs John’s children all being grown up and benefits being capped at £26 Grand per year… Moreover, I am sure that you have to apply for 36 jobs a day to qualify for benefits or you are assassinated sanctioned – or at least the rules are something like that.

But obviously everything works different in the MSM fantasy world. For instance, a £600 Grand house in Westminster is a shed… In fact, in some parts of West London you can’t get a decent shed for under a million quid.

And since the John’s home is obviously a Housing Association home… IT ISN’T THEIRS IS IT.

But to print those facts would be detrimental to the governments aim.


Besides the Chimp has a tendency to publish contradictory reports every day of the fucking week:

Mr Emwazi was a police officer in Kuwait but lost his job and moved to Britain after Saddam Hussein’s 1990 invasion. 

Mr Emwazi is said now to be working in a supermarket in the strictly Islamic Gulf state.

His parents returned from the UK to Kuwait some time ago and are living in Taima, a rundown area of the city of Jahra.

His son worked for an IT software firm there until April 2010 after completing a computing degree at the University of Westminster in London.

His father reportedly told Kuwaiti police: ‘He was planning to get married but because he didn’t have enough money he decided to go back to the UK. Mohammed was religious when he was young.

‘I haven’t been in contact with him since 2013. I got a call from him when he was in Turkey and he told us he was going to Syria to volunteer for a humanitarian campaign.

‘He said, “Please forgive me if I do anything wrong”. It was the last call or contact I had with him.’

Emwazi was banned from re-entering Kuwait in May 2010 after the British authorities raised concerns about his links to extremism. He claimed this cost him his job and his fiancée in the Gulf state.

There were questions last night over why the family was granted permission to stay in the UK. Source

But why let the facts get in the way of a good story aye?

Course, the similarities don’t end there between Baz & Mo, what with Baz being Dappy and Mo not only going to the same school as Dappy’s 1st cousin,Tulisa – but also having been in the very same year as her to boot:

Jihadi John may have been in the same secondary school year as former X-Factor judge and N-Dubz star Tulisa, it has been reported.

The Daily Telegraph posted: “Tulisa, the singer and former X Factor judge, is believed to have at some point attended the same secondary school as Emwazi: Quintin Kynaston Community Academy, in St John’s Wood, London. Source

And of course, the most obvious likeness between Mo and Bary is their eyes:


Mo to the left, Bary to the right.

In fact, Mo’s mother allegedly recognised her son straight away in the James foley beheading hoax video apparently:

The mother of Mohammed Emwazi realised he was Jihadi John when she saw a beheading video, it emerged yesterday.

Ghaneya Emwazi, 47, screamed on recognising her 26-year-old son as the knife-wielding fanatic in the horrific Islamic State propaganda film.

She confirmed he was the IS chief executioner when she and her husband Jasem, 51, were questioned by the Kuwaiti security services on Sunday. 

Mrs Emwazi recognised her son in the IS video of the execution of American journalist James Foley, Kuwait’s respected Al Qabas newspaper said.

Her husband reportedly told the Kuwaiti police: ‘When his mother watched the film about Daesh (IS) she saw the young man covering his face in the James Foley video. He threatened the USA.

‘He said he would kill. She was shocked. She became frantic and started screaming “This is my son”. We were all watching the video. We were scared to watch the video.

‘Then we carried on watching it and we saw that it was Mohammed. We are completely distraught. My son is religious and he hates the West. He feels they have abused him.’  Source

Although James Foley is obviously “Family Guy” writer John D Viener and as fake as the rest of the Fake-Foley-Family Source


Yet if only Mummy John had spoken up earlier it would have saved the US & UK security services months of staring into JJ’s eyes.

Course, to identify someone by their eyes with absolute certainty only happens in fairy tale MSM land.

Indeed, to even present that kind of old bollocks as fact is as far fetched as the mother who turned her ‘legal-high‘ addicted son over to the police after he mugged a 93 year old pensioner, and she recognized him from the following  CCTV image:


Total, total fucking bollocks!

And as usual the photo that we got of Mo was total crap – well at least the first one was anyway. The photo after that is one of those e-fit police compositions.

Yet even then, it is still the same fella as Dappy Bary.


It really isn’t rocket science.

Mind you, when it came to altering/distorting the features of JJ’s family, fuck me the men-in-tights really went to town.


Although fuck knows why Jihadi Daddi has a Caterpillar under his nose!

Why is it so fucking hard to get the truth?

Mind you, I did have to chuckle at the Chimps article claiming that members of the Kuwait-Aminute government are calling for Papa John to apologise for his son’s actions and if he refuses then he should “fuck off” out of the country:

Kuwaiti MPs yesterday called on Jihadi John’s father, Jasem Emwazi, to publicly distance himself from his son’s actions by apologising – or leave the country.

Kuwaitis have become increasingly frustrated with the mixed messages coming from 51-year-old British citizen Mr Emwazi, whose family are said to have cost the British tax-payer up to £400,000 in the 20 years they have lived in the UK.

Last week, Mr Emwazi told former workmates his son was a ‘dog’ and hoped he would die, yet a few days later, his lawyer in Kuwait suggested there was ‘no proof’ the masked IS executioner-in-chief was in fact 26-year-old Mohammed.

Yesterday, Abdullah Yousef Al-Maayouf, a member of the Kuwaiti National Assembly and chairman of the country’s Parliamentary interior and defence committee, called for Mr Emwazi to apologise or leave.

He said: ‘Kuwait is a safe, peaceful country and does not want to be associated with Mohammed Emwazi. What he has done is not his family’s fault, but they should apologise on his behalf and say they do not agree with it.

‘If they will not say this publicly, they should leave Kuwait.’

Mr Emwazi is believed to have been living in Kuwait with his eldest daughter Asma, 25, for the last two years while his wife Ghaneya and four other children remained in London – now guarded by armed police in a hotel.

Westminster council is reportedly still paying the rent on the family’s £600,000 flat even though the rules say housing benefit should normally be stopped after 13 weeks. 

As members of the stateless Bedoon ethnic group, the Emwazis were granted asylum in the UK, claiming to have fled Kuwait in fear of persecution. Source


“Kuwait is a safe, peaceful country and does not want to be associated with Mohammed Emwazi”!!!

Give me fucking strength! Kuwait has an appalling human rights record.

Now as I said at the start, this weeks bullshit is evolving so fast that it is hard to keep up with it.

And wouldn’t you just know that whilst I was editing this article – making it half an hour or so away from publication – more relevant news has materialised about Jihadi Daddi in the form of a Chimp video in which Mo-Fo’s ‘dad’ appeared, but refused to answer any questions… So what was the point of him appearing?

Never the less, I believe it to be a different fella to the earlier photo of  Papa John/Marc Wooton… Although looking at the inset photo?


And of course, as you probably already know; in the propaganda war being waged by the MSM, Mo-Fo has been killed a few times in the past:

Islamic State murderer Jihadi John may be dead and a double carrying out executions in his place, a terror expert claimed yesterday.

Video analysis of the beheading of journalist Kenji Goto, 47, has led experts to believe the masked man was not the British terrorist.

The German newspaper Bild claimed: “The ­executioner had a different stature and his movements were not the same.”

Terrorism expert Professor Peter Neumann believes Jihadi John – named by Bild as rapper Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary – died in a US air attack. He said IS will not admit this because he is a valuable propaganda tool. Source

And who is to say that isn’t TRUE?

I mean in terms of MSM shite, Germany’s biggest selling newspaper, Bild is just as believed by the masses over there as any of our Shit-Rags are over here.

Course, that article is going on the assumption that Mo-Fo is Dapper Bary, but when you go back to what Old Mother John says about instantly recognizing her son when he was chop, chop, chopping Fooley Foley’s head off, then that would obviously make him Mo-Fo and not dapper Bary… If you see what I mean?

Mind you, if any more proof were needed that the ‘Johns’ family are rotten to the core, the Chimps doggedly determined investigative journalists have uncovered that two faced Omar was part of an international bicycle stealing ring and in 2012 was up in court on charges of handling stolen bikes:

Jihadi’s John’s younger brother was convicted of handling stolen goods in a case just months after the older brother was acquitted of the same charge.

Mohammed Emwazi’s involvement with criminal gangs has emerged as a key staging post on his path to extremism and eventually to becoming the notorious executioner for the Islamic State.

It has now emerged that his younger brother Omar, five years his junior, pleaded guilty to possession of stolen goods at Isleworth Crown Court in West London in August 2012.  Source

“I dunno!, ‘they’ come over ere, stealin’ our bikes”

Way to go Monkey Cunts. I’m investigating a claim that Papa John was seen dropping his fag butt on the pavement – so nerrr.

Mind you, if nothing else – and it wasn’t – that bit of old fanny about the bike ring, which I came across after I had already written the above proved my e-fit photo of Omar to be quite, quite accurate.


Whoop, Whoop, go me.

Not that it was hard to come up with. It was just common sense.

Omar Emwazi Daily Mail Staff Collect Picture

And in another twist to the old bollocks Papa John has now been reported in the Independent to have denied that Jihadi John is his son Mo-Fo and threatened to sue anyone who claims that he is.


Course, as always the Mental Street Media want it all ways – like we have already seen with Papa John and the family benefits bill.

After all, despite the ‘family’ being in Kuwait, it is apparently costing us – the taxpayer – £5,000 per day for Scotland Yard to give them 24 hour protection… Why is this considered acceptable reporting?

Jihadi John’s family are being guarded by armed police at a secret location in a security operation costing taxpayers more than £5,000 a day.

Officers from Scotland Yard’s counter-terrorism command provide round-the-clock protection for the Islamic State killer’s mother, brother and three of his sisters. Source

And inevitably, this “have ya cake & eat it” malarkey extends to Mo-Fo’s persona.

I mean, on the one hand he was a polite, nice, very intelligent young man who embraced the British way of life, albeit he was a bit of a wimp and bullied – as we see in this report:

Former headteacher Jo Shuter told Radio 4’s Today programme: ‘He had adolescent issues. Particularly at that age, for the boys, it is a time when the hormones start raging, and he had some issues with being bullied which we dealt with.

‘By the time he got into the sixth-form he was, to all intents and purposes, a hard-working aspirational young man who went on to the university that he wanted to go to.’ 

After arriving in Britain when he was six years old, the extremist appeared to embrace British life, playing football in the affluent streets of West London while supporting Manchester United.

He had moved to Britain in 1993, settling in the north-west London suburbs of Maida Vale and Queens Park.

Neighbours recalled a polite, quietly spoken boy who was studious at his Church of England school, where he was the only Muslim pupil in his class. 

He went to mosque with his family, who spoke Arabic to each other, but wore Western clothing and became popular with his British classmates at St Mary Magdalene Church of England primary school in Maida Vale, West London.   Source

Moreover, he also had an excellent work ethic:

He was also described as ‘calm and decent’ and ‘the best employee we ever had’ by an IT firm for whom he worked in Kuwait.

Whilst on the other hand, he was an out and out dangerous thug:

Mohammed Emwazi mixed with a violent street gang who used stun guns to target wealthy victims in London’s Mayfair, it has emerged.

He also had childhood links to other Islamic extremists who went on to join terror groups in Syria and Somalia.

Emwazi was known to associate with Choukri Ellekhlifi – a member of a masked gang which preyed on rich targets in a series of violent attacks.

The Moroccan-born criminal was thought to have been two years below the IS killer at Quintin Kynaston academy in St John’s Wood, North West London. Source

Shall we ignore the fact that stun-guns are classed as firearms, but despite knowing that Mo-Fo was out & about committing armed robbery – like quiet, shy, university students studying to be computer geeks tend to do – the plod turned a blind eye to his extra curricular activities?

And fuck me, woe betide anyone who got on the wrong side of Mo-Wimpy-Blow-Fo by fucking with his ‘fam’:

Jihadi John dumped two schoolboys on the M1 motorway at gunpoint in revenge for an attack on his brother, it was revealed today.

Mohammed Emwazi – unmasked as the killer in the infamous ISIS beheading videos last week – carried out the kidnap during his days living on a notorious housing estate.

He and two bearded associates are said to have abducted two gang members accused of beating up his younger brother, Omar, in 2008.

The brothers were living on the Mozart estate in west London at the time of the incident, which was known for its postcode gang ‘the Mozart Bloods’.

The friend, who was 14 at the time, said he and Omar were then attacked by two teenage members of the ‘Bloods’, who broke his arm because he was from a different postcode and punched Omar in the face.

When Emwazi found out about the incident, he sought revenge on the two schoolboys who had carried out the beating, the source said.

He told the London paper: ‘They drove round in a car and found these two guys who attacked us, threatened them with a gun, made them take all their clothes off and drove off.

‘They dumped them on the M1 motorway. They weren’t attacked physically but they were threatened. It was a message.’ Source


What was the message: “I’ll be Bach“?

Mind you, it’s funny but I don’t recall reading about that incident… Nevertheless, it must be true because the Chimp has a photo of the M11 accompanying the article.

However, once again, I have outdone the monkey-nutz by digging into my own photo archives:


This really isn’t good enough though… The situation, not the photo I mean – the photos fucking brilliant.

You see, here we have yet another example of the plod knowing about a serious crime taking place but doing fuck all about it.

And then there is the ties to the previously unheard of Nazi ISIS… I kid you fucking not:


One of the men expelled from Tanzania with Jihadi John is a close associate of ‘the Goebbels of Islamic State’, responsible for horrific videos of beheadings.

Mohammed Emwazi was with German national Marcel Schrodl when they were stopped at the airport in Dar es Salaam in 2009.

Now The Mail on Sunday can reveal that German intelligence has linked Schrodl to Denis Cuspert – the rapper whose role making videos for IS has been likened to that of Nazi propaganda chief Josef Goebbels.

I can’t wait to see one of the horrific beheading videos can you… I hope they are better than the ones that Mo-Fo J has taken part in so far.

What else can you tell us about Marcel then Monkey-Cunts? Don’t hold back, give us the full Marcel Parcel:

Cuspert, who was a rapper under the name Deso Dogg, has appeared in an IS beheading video, holding up the severed head of a victim. 

It is believed he may also have produced the sickening footage of Emwazi murdering British and US prisoners with a knife.

German authorities have linked him to Schrodl, one of the most dangerous Islamists on their radar, who they classify as ‘prone to violence’.

Although he claims to have turned his back on fanaticism, Schrodl is believed to have forged links with Somali terror group Al Shabaab, an Al Qaeda affiliate. Source


Sorry to pry but have you got a photo of him Monkey-Cunts. I wanna Snoop Dogg:

Cuspert, who was a rapper under the name Deso Dogg, has appeared in an IS beheading video, holding up the severed head of a victim


Hang on though, I might have a better one in my archives.


BASTARDS! They beat me with their cool photo. All I have is this one.

Course, that flight –  mentioned earlier in the above – was the very same one on which Mo-Fo J was off to join Shabam Shaboom after which MI5 tried to radishalise him into becoming Mo 07:

 In May 2009, Emwazi was stopped with two associates in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, allegedly en route to a safari.

After being detained by police, held overnight and deported, he flew to Amsterdam, where he claimed that an officer from MI5 accused him of trying to reach Somalia – the stronghold of Islamist terror group Al Shabaab. Emwazi claims that MI5 representatives even tried to recruit himSource

But that was just a clever cover story.

You see, the real reason that he was kicked out of somewhere or other was because he was a piss head:

The Islamic State terrorist known as ‘Jihadi John’ was expelled from Tanzania for being drunk and disorderly on a flight from Amsterdam, the Times has reported.

In May 2009, Mohammed Emwazi reportedly indulged in a ten-hour drinking binge to the country en route to Somalia.

It conflicts with earlier reports which claimed the 26-year-old was kicked out of the capital Dar es Salaam after the country’s authorities were tipped off by MI6.

The man who found infamy by fronting a string of brutal execution videos was allegedly traveling with two companions believed to be hellbent on waging jihad. Source

I fucking knew that there was more to it than just MI5 trying to recruit him.

The damning report continues:

The London-born executioner later told the prisoners’ rights group Cage he was traveling to Africa to go on Safari. 

They traveled at a time when Tanzania’s borders were easily crossed by jihadists who wanted to join the terror group al-Shabaab, the Times reports.

Course, what the Monkey-Cunts are doing there is sending out the message that all Muslims are hypocrites, since drinking alcohol is supposedly taboo.

And we also see the prisoners rights group, CAGE get a mention here.

Am I the only cunt who has never heard of them until recently?

Indeed, the first thing that I thought of when I did read about this group, CAGE – who are obviously being used to vilify the Human Right Act – was the Jordanian Air Pilot who was burned alive by IS, in a fucking cage… If you buy into the old bollox of course.


And if you do buy into it, then you are an absolute massive cunt with a brain the size of a gnats dick.

Mind you, when you have articles about 10 year old boys setting fire to each other in re-enactments of the old bollox it isn’t hard to see the agenda there:

A group of children in Yemen have attempted to burn a 10-year-old boy to death after first locking him in a cage in a shocking imitation of the Islamic State’s murder of a Jordanian pilot.

As many as seven boys are believed to have attacked the as-yet unnamed victim in Al Dahthath village in the country’s northern Ibb province.

The defenceless child was then locked in a wooden cage and had petrol poured over his body before being set alight. Thankfully a group of locals spotted the attack and managed to save the boy’s life, although he was still left with horrific burn injuries on his legs.

The boys are understood to have been inspired by murders committed by ISIS after using mobile phone apps such as WhatsApp to share gruesome videos of the terror group’s atrocities, despite living in a remote village where electricity supplies are unreliable. Source

And just for good measure there is also a report about some Yemeni teenagers re-enacting one of Mo-Fo J’s finest hours… AKA the beheadings on the beach.

Course, the Monkey Cunts wouldn’t post something that wasn’t true but I suppose knowing what a bunch of Doubting Thomases we Brits are, they added a screen grab from the mobile phone footage taken of the mock execution, filmed by one of the impressionable young fellas.


Debunk that!

You just gotta love the quality of todays mobile phone videos, yet back in May 2004 no such issues applied as evidenced in the following:

The first footage of ISIS executioner Jihadi John as a shy teenage schoolboy has emerged. 

The video shows Mohammed Emwazi, identified last week as the Islamist fanatic filmed beheading hostages in Syria, being chosen by a classmate to join in with a game of lunchtime football. 

The previously-unseen footage was filmed 11 years ago at Qunitin Kynaston Academy, the secondary school in St John’s Wood, north London, where Emwazi was educated.

The friendly kickabout is the first moving image to have been obtained of Emwazi before he became the ISIS’s depraved executioner-in-chief. Source


Shame on you for going along with this sick agenda Darshana Soni… Shame on you.

And milking the old fanny cage burning bollox for all its worth, the MSM have spawned a new figure of hate:

Advocacy group Cage is no longer being funded by two UK charities, according to the Charity Commission.

Cage has been criticised for suggesting MI5 may have helped cause the radicalisation of Mohammed Emwazi.

The commission says it has been talking to the Roddick Foundation and the Joseph Rowntree Charitable Trust since 2013 about their links with Cage.

It has now received assurances from the charities that they have ceased funding the group and will not do so in future.

In a statement following the announcement, Cage said it respected the decision and thanked the charities for their support.

Its research director Asim Qureshi has previously said Emwazi, a 26-year-old from London dubbed Jihadi John by some news media, was harassed by the secret service.

Emwazi has been named as the Islamic State militant seen in videos which show hostages being beheaded.

Mr Qureshi has also said Cage was “horrified” by Islamic State’s killings and insisted his comments were “not about sticking up for” Emwazi. Source

That’ll fucking teach them… Never the less, cue the brain-dead brigade:


Sorry Lou & Gaz, but the Security Services are indeed responsible for Mo-Fo J’s actions… Or at least their script writers are anyway.

However, I can see Qureshi Modo making regular headlines from now on.


Welllll, if the Security Services can be absolutely ridiculous, then so can I.

I mean, have you seen the old bollox that these silly cunts are coming out with about ISIS – Jihadi Johnny aside?

You see it is a two edged sword and the daft cunt script writers have definitely been watching too many Clit Eastwood movies – leading to articles with headlines like:


Eight dead bodies hang from a metal frame in the Iraq’s Kirkuk province in Islamic State’s latest public display of barbarity.

The gruesome images which emerged on social media show the men’s limp bodies suspended from their feet off a tall structure in the town of Hawija.

The notorious black flag used by Islamist groups like ISIS is displayed above them as horrified onlookers inspect the scene.

Some of the deceased men appear to be wearing military fatigues but it is not known if they were Iraqi soldiers.

An ISIS fighter believed to be Abu Al-Rahman poses triumphantly in one of the pictures – giving the one-fingered salute in front of a bloodied victim’s corpse. Source

26689E1C00000578-2983901-image-m-27_1425729654167 (1)

Not very fucking welcoming is it?

They do it to terrify people apparently.

But like I say, the cunts want it all ways… And when I say cunts, I am talking about the Zionist press and their masters.

You see as we have just seen, on the one hand the ‘cunts’ want you to be terrified of ISIS… Yet in the next fucking instance they want you to believe that they are being OTT nice in order to recruit new members.

I mean, photos like that are counter productive to their recruitment drives… “No problem”, say the scriptwriters “leave it to us”:

It has become known for horrific images of beheadings and torture, but the Islamic State group is trying to lure foreign recruits to its “caliphate” with promises of adventure, homes, jobs — even love.

Using sophisticated recruitment techniques, the jihadists have attracted hundreds of supporters from Western countries to the swathes of territory they have seized in Syria and Iraq.

In the beginning, these efforts focused on luring young men to join the ranks of jihadist fighters.

But IS is increasingly targeting young Western women, as dramatically illustrated last month when three British teenaged girls ran away from their London homes to join the jihadists.

Experts say many are shocked by what they find in IS territory, but by then it is too late. Source

Well how are they going to do that? Target women I mean.

After all, women are not going to join up just to watch fellas hanging around all day are they?

Women wanna be wooed, that’s what they want…  “No problem”, say the scriptwriters “leave it to us”:

Attractive men are used as ‘eye candy’ to lure young British Muslim girls into adopting extremist ideology, a former woman extremist has claimed.

The girl named as Ayesha, a false name to protect her identity, told the BBC that she was taught to see Britain as “our enemy”, but now rejects that ideology. She was speaking in reference to three London schoolgirls who recently left the UK, apparently to join ISIS militants in Syria.

Ayesha told the BBC: “As a teenager I wanted to get my piece of eye candy and I’d take a good look, and all the YouTube videos, for some reason, they [the militants] were all really, really attractive. Source


Don’t blame me… I just report on the old bollox.

And obviously they are all nonces anyway… Or at least they are according to the press.

Indeed it is just a shame that the press are not as forthcoming when it comes to our Nonce MP’s, Lords and Royal Parasites:

A creepy ISIS militant told an undercover reporter he thought was a teenage girl to bring lingerie with her to Syria on her way to be a jihadi bride.

The journalist made contact with ‘Amatullah’, who claimed to be a 16-year-old member of Islamic State originally from the UK in a publically shared post on social media.

The reporter, posing as a 15-year-old girl, got a response within minutes after responding to the militant.  

Detailed instructions on how to travel to Syria using an encrypted smartphone application were soon provided by the ISIS member to the 5 News reporter, using an encrypted smartphone application.

It included advice on how to evade the authorities. 

The journalist was told: ‘It’s not hard. U dont need to know arabic there’s plenty of britani bros here… U can stay with me if u want. Until u get married.‘ Source

Fucking amazing how the MIT’s know the tewwowists movements, where they go, where they have been… They just can’t catch the cunts… Well, not the important ones anyway.

However, if the nonce cunt angle needed reinforcing, Dacre’s Dunces are the men dregs of the earth for the job:

A Turkish man accused of helping ISIS militants smuggle jihadis into Syria has also been charged with forcing Syrian refugee children into joining his paedophile prostitution ring, it has been claimed.

Turkish investigators examining the links between Ahmet Yumuşak and the terror group are said to have discovered the 29-year-old talking with potential clients about the price of sex with refugees.

He allegedly recommended certain women to his ‘customers’, who were inquiring about paying for sex with young females fleeing the Syrian warzone for what they had believed to be the safety of Yumuşak’s native Hatay region of southern Turkey. Source

But hey, the standard of living under ISIS rule is second to none:

Militants fighting for the Islamic State in Iraq have released bizarre new photographs attempting to portray daily life under the terror group as a world of bustling marketplaces and delicious food.

Taken in the ISIS’ Iraqi power base of Mosul in Nineveh province, the travel brochure-type images show crowded market stalls loaded with olives, pickles and all manner of sweets. Source


Probably all free too… Least it will be by next week. They have money coming out of their ears don’t cha know?

I’m just surprised that the Queer of England and her Duck are not friends with Ali Baba Baghdadi yet.

After all, ISIS are not like Bizzy Lizzy’s bestest pals, the barbaric Saudi Arabians. You see, unlike the Saudi’s, ISIS are humane cutter offerers of hands.

Indeed, they pump their naughty rascals full of drugs first so it doesn’t hurt:

Militants fighting for the Islamic State in Iraq have released gruesome new images of alleged thieves having their hands hacked off in front of crowds bloodthirsty onlookers.

The photographs were taken in ISIS stronghold Mosul and show in gruesome detail how the terrorists pump their victims full of drugs before using a massive meat cleaver to cut off the hands.

Hundreds of people are seen lining the streets of the oil-rich city to get a better view of the barbaric act, which is carried out by several masked militants led by a white-bearded elderly man named Abu Ansar al-Ansari, who appears to be orchestrating proceedings. Source


And ISIS could also be a good regular business contact for the Duck to sell his stash to… Just sayin’.

Better still, once you get bored of seeing the homosexuals tipped off buildings and then stoned to death, or the fighter pilots burned to death… Or even seen one too many journalists having their heads chop, chop, chop, chopped off… You can always go to the pictures… To see homosexuals tipped off buildings and then stoned to death, fighter pilots burned to death… And journalists having their heads chop, chop, chop, chopped off:

Bloodthirsty citizens living under the rule of the Islamic State in Syria are flocking to cinemas where the terror group’s latest atrocities are played on a loop.

Photographs taken in Aleppo province show crowds sitting cross-legged on the floor of a theatre where they watch gruesome footage of beheadings, shootings and people being burnt to death.

Boys who appear no older than eight are seen sitting alongside bearded militants in the picture house, where the brutal beheadings of Western hostages by Jihadi John, and the sickening murder of Jordanian pilot Muath al-Kaseasbeh are played over and over. Source

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I fucking love this next bit… Forget about Versace, D&G and FCUK. If you ain’t wearing ISIS, you ain’t where its at baby:

From babywear to wedding rings, ISIS supporters have been showing off their appalling taste in fashion on social media.

Most ISIS merchandises appear to be cheaply made and poor quality, always adorned with the ISIS badge.

The uninspiring fashion pieces have been seen being worn by fighters, mothers and babies living in ISIS territory in Syria and Iraq. 

Naturally nearly all the merchandises are based around the dull colour scheme of black and white.

The uninspiring colours embody the values of the extremist group’s flag, the famous black banner long associated with Islamic State and radical Islam.

Any other colour could be a hint of apostasy, or worse interest in the tight fitting world of Western clothesSource

You really have to love the Monkey Cunts… They are proper, proper on fucking drugs, without a shadow of a doubt.

I mean never mind the absurdity of the story, the coked up cretins are acting as fashion critics on the shit that they made up themselves!

“Naturally nearly all the merchandises are based around the dull colour scheme of black and white. The uninspiring colours embody the values of the extremist group’s flag”.


Wanna see the goods?

Of course you fucking do.


You gotta love the Bargain Of The Week… The ultimate gift for the lady in your life – a pair of slippers and a vibrator.

If she don’t like the slippers she can go fuck herself.

Course, for those who like a more leisurely approach to life, you could do worse than the ISIS garden centres:

Islamic State have released their most boring and uninspiring propaganda photos on social media today, revealing gardening as one of the little known past time shared by their supporters. 

The dull photos appear to be an attempt by the brutal extremist group to show an interest in the environment and other calmer activities.

The images were taken in the Iraqi province of Nineveh, home to some of the most fertile earth in the Middle East. Source


The Chimp’s readers must be on fucking drugs too. No sane cunt would read their shit – cept me of course who has to.

But c’mon for fucks sake: The dull photos appear to be an attempt by the brutal extremist group to show an interest in the environment and other calmer activities”.

Comedy fucking gold that.

The ISIS photographer's report documents the garden nurseries in Nineveh province, Iraq.

Course, you know how they are getting word out about these garden centres and fashion wear don’t you?

Twitter, thats how.

On March the 6th 2015 the Monkey Cunts revealed that ISIS are linked to 46,000 Twitter accounts:

At least 46,000 Twitter accounts have been linked to supporters of the Islamic State in late 2014, a research report released in Washington showed.

The study released Thursday by the Brookings Institution found that even though many accounts were suspended by the messaging platform, the numbers remained high.

“From September through December 2014, the authors estimate that at least 46,000 Twitter accounts were used by ISIS supporters, although not all of them were active at the same time,” the report said. Source

It’s no wonder that the Cunt Cameron is so uptight about them. He has to buy his social media friends don’t cha know:

Poor old David Cameron. Last week the prime minister was mocked after tweeting a photograph of himself phoning Barack Obama to discuss the crisis in Ukraine. Now it appears the PM has made another social media gaffe – buying friends on Facebook.

The Mail on Sunday reports that the Tories have spent thousands of pounds on advertising to encourage Facebook users to “like” Cameron’s page. Marketing experts estimated that the campaign cost about £7,500, and succeeded in boosted Cameron’s “likes” by 47,000 to 127,000, overtaking Nick Clegg’s 80,000 in the process. Source

Mind you, on the very same day that Dacre’s Dunces announced that ISIS have links to 46,000 Twitter accounts, Dacre’s Dunces announced that ISIS have links to 90,000 Twitter accounts:

Web-savvy militants fighting for the Islamic State in Syria and Iraq could control as many as 90,000 Twitter accounts worldwide, allowing them to spread their sickening propaganda with ease.

The terror group is able to ‘exert an outsized impact on how the world perceives it’ because of its shrewd use of social media and sheer number of online followers, terror experts have concluded. 

Recommendations in the report by the Washington-based Brookings Institute report include governments and social media companies working together to find new ways to tackle the problem of pro-ISIS accounts spreading horrific murder videos and images and jihadist rhetoric. Source


Imagine that? 90,000 Twitter accounts… That is nearly as many accounts as that useless, paranoid, funny looking, Welsh dwarf has.

Yet there is supposedly only 30,000 ISIS Tewwowists… Three accounts each!

Still, its nice to see that the barbarians are being careful:

Jihadi fighters have been told to remove metadata from their tweets and stop posting names, locations and identifiable photographs to stay one step ahead of Western spies.

Radical group, Isis, has had a prolific social media output, but leaders are concerned that fighters have been inadvertently leaking data through their online activities.

Pictures of jihadis brandishing severed heads and taunting their enemies have provided a wealth of valuable information to Western intelligence agencies such as the US NSA or Britain’s GCHQ.

Metadata is information generated as you use technology, which could include the date and time you last tweeted as well as where you sent it from. Source

I shouldn’t joke. After all, real made-up people are not getting hurt by these made up monsters.

Indeed, according to the script writers, their capacity to inflict pain knows no bounds… Just like the script writers capacity for crass stupidity knows no bounds.


Course, now that the ISIS new rules clearly state that women are no longer allowed to slappa their thighs, I would imagine that a lot of these schoolgirls we read about and single mothers on benefits will not be so keen to get themselves over to Syria:

Militants fighting for the Islamic State in Syria and Iraq have issued a new set of rules jihadis must live by – including restrictions on when to utter curses and a ban on women slapping their thighs.

A fighter calling himself Abu ‘Umar al-Masri, who claims to be based in the terrorists’ capital Raqqa, tweeted photographs of flyers containing fatwas imposed on local residents in recent weeks.

Providing a unique glimpse in to life under ISIS’ brutal and oppressive control, each of the 32 slips of paper – which are headed with the terror group’s chilling black and white logo – gives a detailed explanation of various bizarre rules and regulations laid out by ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. Source


And just when you thought that it couldn’t get any worse… It went and got worse:

ISIS has taken a terrifying stranglehold on Nigeria after militants Boko Haram pledged allegiance to the terror group.

An audio recording believed to be from Boko Haram’s leader Abubakar Shekau said the jihadists, who have been waging a six-year military campaign in northern Nigeria, were merging with ISIS.

A translation of the Arabic broadcast said: ‘We announce our allegiance to the Caliph… and will hear and obey in times of difficulty and prosperity.’

The message means that ISIS now has a foothold in Nigeria, as well as controlling swathes of Iraq and Syria and parts of Egypt and Libya.

Baghdadi has already accepted pledges of allegiance from other jihadist groups in the Middle East, Afghanistan, Pakistan and north Africa as he seeks to expand their reign of terror. Source


What an allegiance!

Course, we know it’s terrifying because the Monkey Cunts have just told us that it is.

Imagine! The Beatles and Procol Harum together.


Safe to say then that drastic action is needed and the way that I see it is there are two choices.

(1) We give everything that we have to the government… All our money, all our property. We give them free access to all our communications. We let them have our children… Everything. Only then will the government be able to keep us safe from the bogeymen… At least that is what ‘they’ want us to believe.


(2)We adopt the ISIS guidelines for success. 30,000 people is all we need to take over the UK. After all, ISIS apparently only number that many and they have taken over everywhere. Therefore, 30,000 is more than enough for the UK – and Southern Ireland too whilst we are at it.

There will be houses for all, food a plenty, designer clothes, as much leisure time as we want and we will all be millionaires.

Obviously we drop the chop, chop, chop off the heads & hands malarkey. We drop the burning in cages entertainment too.

And we drop the dropping of homosexuals off of buildings… Except for the royal parasites, our MP’s, the Lords, the Bankers, judges, police top brass and Gok Wan – I can’t stand that cunt.

Oh, and women can slap their thighs until their hearts content.

The choice is yours.