The Sunday Spiv 01/02/15

Christopher Spivey

 

Morning, afternoon or evening and a happy Weirdy Beardy Man in the Skyday to you all.

It’s been a while hasn’t it?

And as always, we will start with the site news… There is none.

Moving on and you may remember a Chimp story that I commented on last year about a supposedly remote Amazonian tribe who were in reality nothing of the sort?

You do? Good, that saves me the job of having to spend forever searching for it.

Anyway, it would appear that the Monkey Boys are at it again… Why do they do that?

However, this time around the lying fucks are not reporting on a ferocious Amazonian tribe who have lived for 1000’s of years unchanged by the modern world. They are reporting on a ferocious Saudi Arabian tribe who have lived for 1000’s of years unchanged by the modern world… Despite being into flower power.

And quite obviously, you couldn’t make this shite up:

They live in the Habala Mountains that straddle Saudi Arabia’s southern border with Yemen but take orders from neither government, instead living their lives under the dictates of tribal law.

Meet the ‘flower men’, a tribe of people descended from the ancient Tihama and Asir groupings and whose traditions, most strikingly the garlands of herbs and blooms they wear, date back more than two millennia.

But as photographer Eric Lafforgue discovered, they are the source of much unrest in the region, conducting cross-border battles and reacting violently should any outsider stumble into their turf – including to Lafforgue himself. 

Scary fucking stuff then… I mean, Saudi Arabia has an atrocious record on human rights, so if the barbarians are frightened of the barbarians you just know that we are talking about real barbarians.

Mind you, the barbarians are very good friends with Bizzy Lizzie & the Duck… Then again, the royal nonce ponces are a tad barbaric themselves and Sweaty’s government are doing their damndest to get rid of the human rights act, so there can be no surprise really… Birds of a feather and all that jazz.

Carry on Monkey Man:

‘In the past, it was totally forbidden for foreigners to enter the area and the villages,’ explains Lafforgue, adding: ‘Some hill villages were only reachable with a rope anyway.’

That remained the case until the early 1990s when the Saudi Arabian government, keen to boost tourism in the region, built cable cars to the villages and hotels for tourists to stay in.

But with many of the flower men forced out of their homes by the development, clashes soon erupted and the area remains volatile – not least because of the turmoil in neighbouring Yemen.

“Some hill villages were only reachable with a rope”!

Fuck me backwards, that is remote.

So, what we have so far is a load of Flower Pot Men, who have to act like Batman if they commute to work. That is to say that they did until the barbaric Saudi government built cable cars to help them out.

However, the barbaric Saudi government wanted a return on their investment by building hotels in the remote villages which gave the Batty, Potty, Flower Men the raging fucking hump since they had always been happy enough using their utility belts to come and go.

This led to what the barbaric British government would term as acts of Terrorism, which appears to remain the case today… But the terrorism isn’t the barbaric Saudi governments fault apparently… It the fault of those from Yemen being all lemon.

Gotcha, do please carry on the Daily Chimp:

‘I had planned to be in the area for a few days but quickly realised it would be very difficult,’ Lafforgue revealed in an exclusive interview with MailOnline Travel.

‘I had to stop and get a local escort of policemen before I could go into the area.

The policemen told me some of the local people really hate foreigners, while even Saudi people aren’t welcome in some villages.

As a result, when Lafforgue arrived in the village of Rijal Alma, the locals’ initial response was to hide. ‘There were a few old women about who hid from me as soon as I tried to approach them.’ 

Okay, so it would now appear that we getting the facts straight from Les Chevaux mouth then.

And credit where credit is jew due, it’s a big well done to the Monkey Boys for scooping an exclusive interview with photographer Eric Lafforgue on what has the makings of being a very interesting article.

“Hold up Spiv, I thought that you said the fellas name is Leslie Crowther – or something like that…. So who the flipping heck is Eric Laffortwo”?

Oh, ello Voicey… It’s been a while. You obviously don’t sprechen die deutsch.

“HUH”?

Sprechen die deutsch… It means… Oh never mind what it means. Les Chevaux is Italian for ‘The Horses‘. I was showing off.  Eric Laffatchew is a foreign photographer who has given The Chimp this EXCLUSIVE interview after treading where no other man dares to tread.

And with that being the case I thought that I would make the effort for Eric by making his introduction in Italian… Les Chevauxhall… Straight from the horses mouth… Eric Pikachu obviously isn’t English so I gave his introduction in Italian, understand Voicey?  Course ya fucking do.

“No, I always thought Vauxhall was English. But forget that. What you are saying is that the Barbaric Saudi government built a load of hotels in the most inaccessible, inhospitable place ever but it is far too dangerous for anyone to stay at these hotels because of Bill & Ben the terrorist men”?

Well, that isn’t quite what I am saying. What I’m saying is that the Monkey Boys are saying what Eric Laffoutloud told them in an exclusive interview after witnessing the place first hand… But basically yes.

“Okay… Two questions”.

Fire away voicey.

“How did they get the building materials up to the terrorist hideout if you could only get there by rope”?

Cable car Voicey. That is why they built the cable car lift first silly… Next?

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“Why bother”?

Fuck off Voicey. I didn’t write the fucking article. Mind you, with having hotels and whatnots you would think that Bill & Bens birds would have be used to outsiders, so Dog knows why they were hiding from Eric.

Perhaps Monkey Man would care to elaborate:

‘When I arrived in the village, it was market day and a few old women were there. They hid themselves from me as soon as I tried to come towards them.’

The men, however, proved more amenable with Lafforgue able to photograph a group of flower-decked men who screeched up in the back of a battered old Toyota.

He was fascinated by their garlands, most of which were made using wild basil and jasmine picked in the foothills of the Habala Mountains. ‘They do it every day,’ he explains. ‘They all want to look better than their neighbours.’

Not every garland is worn for its beauty, however. ‘They use similar herbs as a cure for headaches,’ he explains. ‘But those garlands aren’t so beautiful to look at. They even put herbs up their noses when they have a cold, which doesn’t look so romantic.’

Fucking hell, they aren’t used to outsiders then.

“Ask him why they don’t just take a paracetamol like normal people do Spiv… The smell from the flowers is probably what’s giving em a bloomin headache. And why don’t they just wash, the dirty bastards. No amount of flowers are going to mask B.O”.

Okay, I will. Ere Monkey Fuck? Voicey asked me to ask you why they don’t just take a paracetamol like normal people do?  He said that the smell from the flowers is probably what’s giving em a bloomin headache in the first place. And he also wants to know why don’t they just wash, the dirty bastards. After all no amount of flowers are going to mask B.O are they?

But their beautiful garlands conceal a penchant for violence, which Lafforgue became all too aware of when he attempted to step into a local restaurant for lunch.Inside, he was threatened with knives by the flower men.

‘Those guys are serious,’ he remembers. ‘The policemen kept telling me that they don’t play games and they were right.

So what you’re saying, or what Laffalot is saying, is that they wear flowers because they are violent and when he decided to get a bit of grub in the local restaurant – a restaurant being a place of business that serves food in exchange for money – the poor fella got threatened?

“They won’t stay in business long if that is how they treat their customers Spiv”!

No they won’t Voicey… They won’t stay in business long if that is how they treat their customers Monkey Man:

‘For the first time in my life, I saw policemen with guns terrified of men with knifes.’ And they had good reason. According to Thierry Mauger, a French anthropologist who visited the tribe in the 1990s, the flower men even attempted to rape him.

Luckily for Lafforgue, the men soon calmed down and he and his increasingly nervous police escort decided to leave. ‘The police got nervous after an hour,’ he explains.  ‘Nobody had stayed so long they asked me to leave. I know I was lucky to meet them.’

And despite his hair-raising experience, Lafforgue has some sympathy for the men who attacked him. ‘It is all down to a lack of contact with foreigners,’ he says. ‘They have also fought for centuries with other tribes who want to take their land.

‘Their villages look like fortified castles with huge towers and walls, and they surround them with rocks for an extra line of defence. You can see that they have had to fight hard to keep their land.’  Source

Is it just me or does that not make sense?  Kinda like there has been a chunk left out or something?

I mean, this photographer Eric Whatsaface goes to this proper remote region where the natives are so fucking dangerous that he has to have a police escort. When they get there, all they find is a load of scared birds who immediately hide until the fellas with flowers in their hair return.

This prompts Eric & the plod to go get a cup of tea and presumably the flower-power fellas follow and proceed to attack the photographer and his boys in blue for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Moreover, despite the fact that the coppers are coppers in one of the most barbaric country’s in the world and they have guns, they are apparently terrified of the flower shower brandishing their fancy curved knives.

Mind you, the Bill & Bennions have had to fight just about everyone in the world to keep their remote homeland, so they must be roughty toughties… But even so? Coppers with guns terrified of Guys with knives… Hmmm.

Now, I have had a look at the photos of these cut-throat Pansy Potters and I have to say that they don’t look all that. And when you sort out the photos, there are not as many of them as the Monkey Boys & Eric would like you to believe.

Ancient traditions: The flower men of the Habala Mountains are part of a tribal group that has lived in the area for more than 2,000 years 

Ancient traditions: The flower men of the Habala Mountains are part of a tribal group that has lived in the area for more than 2,000 years

Elaborate: The men wear ornate garlands made from herbs and flowers growing wild in the foothills of the mountains

Elaborate: The men wear ornate garlands made from herbs and flowers growing wild in the foothills of the mountains

Elaborate: The men wear ornate garlands made from herbs and flowers growing wild in the foothills of the mountains

Well to be honest they look more stinky than scary and they don’t have any qualms about wearing Western type shirts. Furthermore, the first fella has more of a daisy chain around his bonce and I would guess that he considers himself a bit of a Dandy since he also has a silky type scarf around his gregory… Tell me? Are they Quares?

“Huh”?

Never mind. Who else have we got?

Beautiful: As well as making the men look and smell nicer, some of the garlands have a medicinal purpose and are used to cure headaches 

Beautiful: As well as making the men look and smell nicer, some of the garlands have a medicinal purpose and are used to cure headaches

Ere, I remember him from that old comedy… Mind ya fucking language, or whatever it was called.

But why would they want to look nice? I mean they wanna be looking like baddies… They don’t wanna be looking like the goodies thats for sure.

And they wanna be getting themselves booked into the doctors if they have permanent headaches… That can’t be fucking right can it?

Restorative: Garlands made exclusively for medicinal purposes, such as the one this man is wearing, are less pretty and stuffed with herbs

Restorative: Garlands made exclusively for medicinal purposes, such as the one this man is wearing, are less pretty and stuffed with herbs

He doesn’t look to have much of a headache… He has however got a bit of Tom Foolery on though.

Obviously he thinks that he’s a Dandy too. Fuck me, at this rate the Dandies will be able to go on a Beano… Feel free to chuckle amongst yourselves now.

Sweet-smelling: Although cooler than the desert that dominates the rest of Saudi, the mountains are hot and the herbs ward off bad smells 

Sweet-smelling: Although cooler than the desert that dominates the rest of Saudi, the mountains are hot and the herbs ward off bad smells

GAAAAYYYYY… Never the less, do they not have water? They must have, in fact they must live in a dampish region for the flowers to grow… Do they not have baths or showers in their castles?

Excitement: The men rarely see outsiders and locals reacted excitedly when Lafforgue first arrived, with this man calling his friends to tell them

Excitement: The men rarely see outsiders and locals reacted excitedly when Lafforgue first arrived, with this man calling his friends to tell them

“calling his friends to tell them“???

I thought that they attacked poor old Eric… So now we are supposed to believe that these people live in a place so remote that when they see a Westerner they are so excited that they have to ring their mates on their MOBILE FUCKING PHONES!

Striking: The men, who all live in a small village called Asir, were initially happy to tell Lafforgue about their garlands and pose for photos

Striking: The men, who all live in a small village called Asir, were initially happy to tell Lafforgue about their garlands and pose for photos

Haven’t the last three photos all been of the same fella?

Now at this point, I shall refer to the video that accompanies the article from which I have taken some screen shots.

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Okay, best that we just get on with the photos.

Striking: The men, who all live in a small village called Asir, were initially happy to tell Lafforgue about their garlands and pose for photos

Striking: The men, who all live in a small village called Asir, were initially happy to tell Lafforgue about their garlands and pose for photos

Isn’t he the same fucking fella again but in a different shirt? Whether or not it is he certainly has a biro in his pocket… But he mustn’t like to show off his flowers… Perhaps he thinks that doing so makes him look a bit of a pansy… A bit of a Pansy… Geddit? … Good one me.

Labour: They explained that they go into the foothills of the Habala Mountains every morning in search of fresh herbs for their garlands

Labour: They explained that they go into the foothills of the Habala Mountains every morning in search of fresh herbs for their garlands

He looks more like the type of fella that Stephen Fry would marry, rather than a fucking cut throat terrorist.

I would however imagine that they love it when it rains… That would mean that they could have a lie in as they only need give themselves a quick watering and hey-presto… The hats as good as new.

Looking good: They told Lafforgue that they all compete with each other to make the most beautiful garlands they can

Looking good: They told Lafforgue that they all compete with each other to make the most beautiful garlands they can

Hold up! It’s matey from the first photo. The one with the silk scarf… Matey next to him is giving him the ‘look’ as if to say: “Yes my garland is much more beautiful than yours ya plant”.

Looking good: They told Lafforgue that they all compete with each other to make the most beautiful garlands they can

Looking good: They told Lafforgue that they all compete with each other to make the most beautiful garlands they can

Fuck me its Simple Simon… Who may or may not be matey wearing the watch who walked across the screen in the video holding on tightly to his beautiful garland.

Recovering: Not all were for beauty. This man is wearing herbs in the hopes of dealing with a headache. He would use the same for colds

Recovering: Not all were for beauty. This man is wearing herbs in the hopes of dealing with a headache. He would use the same for colds

Look out it’s another hard-nut… I feel sure that we have seen him already though.

Armed: All carry a ceremonial knife and as Lafforgue discovered during his visit, they are not afraid to use them

Armed: All carry a ceremonial knife and as Lafforgue discovered during his visit, they are not afraid to use them

I got bored and skipped a few. Besides you can look for yourselves although they are very samey.

Indeed I only added this one because of the background which doesn’t look a very remote villagey type place at all.

And I still cannot see cops with guns who police such a barbaric nation being scared of these gay boys.

Armed: All carry a ceremonial knife and as Lafforgue discovered during his visit, they are not afraid to use them

Armed: All carry a ceremonial knife and as Lafforgue discovered during his visit, they are not afraid to use them

Check out the mobile phone in the holster… Then again skirts don’t have pockets.

Mind you, this fella is a bit scarred up… Which obviously suggests that he’s not all that good at fighting. He also has a watch on. They do like a bit of modern living these primitive tribes don’t cha know.

And then we get to the fortress type castles that these hard bastards live in.

Fortress: The people of Rijal Alma have been forced to fight for their land and as a result, many of the homes look more like fortified castles

Fortress: The people of Rijal Alma have been forced to fight for their land and as a result, many of the homes look more like fortified castles

Now the question is: Is that just one family home or is it a block of flats? You know, I really do have to say that for an “exclusive interview”, information wise the Monkey Boys are really not getting too much out of Eric Laffmorgue – or whatever the fuck his name is.

Protected: Women are kept out of sight inside the houses. During his visit, Lafforgue was only allowed to meet the men

Protected: Women are kept out of sight inside the houses. During his visit, Lafforgue was only allowed to meet the men

Fuck me those balconies look a bit dodgy!  It does however certainly look a bit remote although I am not sure if that is the toilet or a look-out tower in the distance.

Detailed: The houses in Rijal Alma were decorated with elaborate chequered patterns while nearly all had balconies (right)

Detailed: The houses in Rijal Alma were decorated with elaborate chequered patterns while nearly all had balconies

And electric light… That is a light bulb at the bottom of the photo I take it?

Volatile: As their tower-like homes suggest, the men remain on guard and, at one point, threatened Lafforgue with their knives

Volatile: As their tower-like homes suggest, the men remain on guard and, at one point, threatened Lafforgue with their knives

I do hope you are reading the Monkey Boys photo captions… After all, this is leading to something, believe it or not.

I also notice that there are a few electric cables going into the castle/flats.

Mind you, those precariously held up balconies are more like baskets than balconies aren’t they?

Remote: The stunning view of the Habala Mountains taken from Rijal Alma reveals just how remote the flower men's home is  

Remote: The stunning view of the Habala Mountains taken from Rijal Alma reveals just how remote the flower men’s home is

Indeed it doesn’t… Yes you read that right.  Now I’m not saying that Rijal Alma’a is on a par with London, but it is far from the remote outpost that the Monkey Boys would have you believe.

Indeed, the place even has a museum as well as hotels and restaurants – in which you do not get attacked by the natives… Well, not in the way that the lying bullshit Chimp would have you believe.

The natives will however try and rip you off by offering to sell you a small jar of the local honey for £35 a throw. And obviously dressing up as Middle Eastern hippies is always going to drag a few tourists in.

And make no mistake, that is why they dress up like that. A bit like the American Amish people… You know, all touristy like. You see, it was the Flower Pot Men who pushed for the modernisation of the area, and not a case of the government giving them no option.

Moreover, take no notice of what the lying shit rag says about their “rare” video footage, from which I took the above screen-shots.

The following is from a travel blogger:

I’ve been up to Soudah a fair few times now – it’s very close to Abha, but this was by far the cloudiest trip. Nowt to see this time really. We did have a nosy at the Asiri dressed man selling honey at the side of the road.

For a mere 200 riyals (£34) we could have gotten our hands on a little tub of honey, which he forced us to taste. As nice as it was, we had to decline this generous offer of being fantastically ripped off, even after he charitably reduced the price to 150 riyals (£25).

The still in puberty young lad decided this was a perfect time to unceremoniously tell us to get lost. I think he might have been annoyed we got him out of his car into the cold once he discovered we had no intention of buying his bee juice.

It was quite out of character for these guys. I can base this on my vast experience of meeting only one before, in pretty much the same spot. That time I not only didn’t buy anything, but I took his knife off him to pose for a photo.

We braked our way down the long and winding Swiss-style road, which appears to be a good way of getting several Saudi drivers to actually slow down and drive carefully.

From the cold up top it was quite pleasant to feel a bit warm down the bottom. Found it, there’s the Rijal Alma’a museum! I’m generally against cars, after having a license for 11 years now, but never actually owning a car. This was one of those times I was glad they existed. Cable cars to Alma’a suck.

Rijal Alma’a is an old town, on the old trade route from Yemen up the west of Saudi Arabia (The Asir Province) through the mountains and up to Mecca and beyond into the Red Sea.

If you want any frankincense, let me know, it’s everywhere. The town fell into either disrepair, or decided to attempt at modernisation. How dull. The old fortresses, citadels and houses slowly became disused and then neglected.

It’s quite inspiring that it wasn’t the government that decided to rebuild them in the same old style and open them up as a tourist attraction, it was the village people of Rijal Alma’a. Tea breaks with YMCA performances were common.

It was quite interesting to see the architecture and artifacts. The usual museum stuff: jewellery, farming tools, knives and clothes etc.

I like seeing the old abayas that women in the region used to wear. They have colour. What strange folk! They had colour on their black abayas?!

I’m determined to find someone who still wears said attire in modern day Saudi Arabia. There appears to be a rich culture from the Asir, which Thierry Mauger has captured on film only 20ish years ago, with a variety of colours and styles which seem to be very hard to find today – despite it being in the very near past.

The “flower men” of the Asir can be seen around though, they seem alright. You can smell them coming. I may have purchased a wizara which no doubt is spelt completely different to that – the sarong the fella above is modelling. Mine’s got more colour though. His is crap. Source

And the writer was even kind enough to provide his readers with photographs:

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However, lets not just take the Bloggers word for it. Lets see what Arab News has to say on the place:
JEDDAH: The winner of the Prince Sultan bin Salman Prize for Preservation of Urban Heritage in 2006, Rijal Alma literally invented itself. Located in the Tihama area of the Asir Province, it lies 45 km west of the tourist city of Abha and only 500 meters from the main road that connects the city of Mahayel Asir and Darb Bani Shubah.

It has been around a long time and once was the capital of the principality of Hala during the reign of Mossa Al-Kenani in 732H.

It is an ancient Asiri village set in an extensive valley on the trade route between Yemen, Makkah and the Red Sea.

Significantly, Asir translates as “difficult” — and describes both the geography of the area and some say the stubborn and tough character of the mountain people of the area.

They certainly put those characteristics to good use a couple of decades ago when the inhabitants of the village decided to keep and restore their ancestral home and not abandon it to the temptations of glittering modernity.

“Rijal Alma village has introduced itself independently.

The residents initiated the rehabilitation work a long time ago to attract tourists to the area and benefit from its economic potential,” Prince Sultan observed on presenting their prize.

“We learned a lot from the Rijal Alma experience; we ought to help and support them through this project. What you have seen now is an example of public and private sectors and local community solidarity and cooperation.”

The result of the villagers’ gritty individualism is a living museum that has become one of the most popular and distinctive tourist attractions in Saudi Arabia.

The people of Rijal Alma are mainly from the Tihama tribe, whose way of life has similarities to Yemeni culture. The Tihama are also known as the “flower men” from their custom of wearing garlands of dried herbs and flowers in their hair.

Traditionally, these hill men were considered by plain dwellers to be one of the fiercest tribes in the Kingdom. Their communities are still very much influenced by tribal law and customs resulting in a distinctive character within the context of the Saudi nation. Source

And Arab News also provided some photos for us to have a butchers at… I have also added some more of our intrepid travel bloggers holiday snaps too.

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Yet even then, that is nowhere near the full extent of the Chimps deception.

Now, I will remind you that the shit-rag proudly trumpeted this article – |

And indeed it might have been an “exclusive interview” between Eric and the fraud fucks… But I gotta tell ya that the information was far from new:

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THE OLD FANNY IS OVER FIVE FUCKING YEARS OLD!

Why the fuck would the Chimp publish a story that is over 5 years old and even then, present it in total opposition to the truth.

I mean fuck me, Dacre’s Dunces must have copped a proper deaf one to what Eric Laffslast must have been telling them in his exclusive interview.

Moreover, despite the Monkey-Fuckers clever wording, there can be no doubt whatsoever that the cunts have deliberately set out to deceive their readers… But why have they? What is there to be gained by this story?

Course, you could ask the same question of the Glasgow bin lorry hoax, but a hoax is what it is,

Indeed, I can only speculate that this bullshit has something to do with the power struggle that is going on at the moment in the barbaric nation following the death of King Somethin-Gorother:

With the Middle East in an unprecedented state of turmoil, the need for smooth and orderly transfers of power in Saudi Arabia has become more crucial than ever – but who will inherit the kingdom in the coming years is a thorny issue yet to be resolved. Source

And of course, the same pair of clowns who have been shamelessly promoting the myth of the Holohoax this week were criticised for jetting over to Saudi Arabia last week at our expense to pay their respects to the dead butcher.

Course, the pair of prats not only proper mugged themselves off, they also mugged the country off in the eyes of the world by flying the Buck House and Downing Street Union Jacks at half mast – yet the Saudi’s didn’t even bother flying their own flag at half mast.

The shower of shit has to go:

Prince Charles and David Cameron arrived in Saudi Arabia yesterday to pay their respects after the death of King Abdullah – despite mounting protests over the country’s ‘appalling’ human rights record.

There were also claims that flying the Union Jack at half-mast last week was unnecessary, because the Saudis had not lowered their own flag.

The Prince of Wales, Mr Cameron and other leaders were set to meet the new ruler King Salman in the capital, Riyadh. But the visit was dogged by claims that UK tributes – including lowering flags at Buckingham Palace and Downing Street – were inappropriate. Source

David+Cameron+Prince+Wales+Hosts+Reception+G49Qbrl_mDfl

And you can bet your life that the hypocrite Ca-Moron didn’t protest or even fucking ask about Raif Badawi, the blogger who is being treated absolutely appallingly by the Saudi Authorities:

A witness has confirmed to Amnesty International that the flogging of Saudi Arabian activist Raif Badawi took place this morning after Friday prayers in front of al-Jafali mosque in Jeddah.

According to the witness after the prayers ended Raif Badawi was removed from a bus in shackles and brought to the public square in front of the mosque. Surrounded by a crowd made up of the public and a number of security officers, he received 50 consecutive lashes. The whole ordeal lasted around 15 minutes. Afterwards he was put back in the bus and taken away.

“The flogging of Raif Badawi is a vicious act of cruelty which is prohibited under international law,” said Said Boumedouha, Amnesty International’s Deputy Director for the Middle East and North Africa. 

“By ignoring international calls to cancel the flogging Saudi Arabia’s authorities have demonstrated an abhorrent disregard for the most basic human rights principles. Raif Badawi is a prisoner of conscience; his only ‘crime’ was to exercise his right to freedom of expression by setting up a website for public discussion. He must be immediately and unconditionally released.”

Raif Badawi was sentenced to 10 years in prison, 1,000 lashes and a fine of 1 million Saudi Arabian riyals (about US$266,600) last year for creating an online forum for public debate and accusations that he insulted Islam.

The full sentence of 1,000 lashes will be carried out over a period of 20 weeks.

“It is appalling that 19 weeks of flogging await Raif Badawi over the coming months. Saudi Arabia’s authorities must act immediately to halt all further floggings,” said Said Boumedouha. Source

Course, no one reading this is naive enough to believe that the obnoxious Cunt Cameron really believes in free speech are they?

None of the no good cunts in power are in favour of free speech for that matter… Despite their walk in support of free speech.

But for the Saudi government to come out and say ‘Je Suis Charlie’ just takes the proper fucking piss when they have Raif Badawi behind bars.

A cartoonist who survived the Charlie Hebdo massacre has attacked the hypocrisy of world leaders who march in the name of free speech but censor their press.

He also reflected on the international movement of ‘Je Suis Charlie’ and criticised the hypocrisy of world leaders marching in the name of free speech while suppressing press rights in their own countries.

He said: ‘All of a sudden, Saudi Arabia says ‘I am Charlie’ but it is not.’  Source

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Now obviously the Paris shooting was also a hoax, designed to vilify Muslims and draw sympathy for the Jews… Who really don’t need or deserve any. But nevertheless the sentiment in regard to free speech is bang on.

And of course it was just as hypocritical of the Cunt Cameron to take part in that buttock clenching walk for free speech when I am in court (and I’m not the only one) later this month for exercising my right to do so – and of course from which I am now prohibited from doing.

There is never a terrorist around when ya need one… Too busy targeting unimportant people I suppose.

However, those photographers must have had to wear gas masks while taking the photos. After all, you will never see a bigger congregation of dirty, stinking cunts in one place than right there.

And I see that our other psycho killer best pal, Nellie Letta Yahoo is in the thick of things. Didn’t he get the right fucking hump or something because he had originally been left out of the first line up? Something like that anyway.

Course, the fictitious ISIS – who would need to be millions in number to do all that they are doing instead of the few hundred or so useful idiots led by CIA agents – have now been mentioned in connection with invading Saudi Arabia:

Islamic State (Isis) supporters on social media are hailing dozens of IS militants who have allegedly infiltrated a Saudi Arabian border town via Iraq.

Saudi intelligence services are reportedly on the search for the IS militants after an anti-government Saudi Twitter user, known as ‘mujtahidd’, tweeted to his 1.2m followers that an attack was launched on border guards.

Fuck me, not only are we supposed to believe that Ali Al Ali Al Baghdadi & his 40 thieves have control of Iraq and Syria; we are now meant to believe that they are just going to walk into Saudi Arabia!

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Yet people buy this shit.

Moreover, people really believe that these invasions are organised on Twatter & Facefuck:

 The Twitter user also claimed IS militants have reached the Saudi town of Rafha.

Neither IS nor the Saudi officials have released an official confirmation on the border infiltration though comments were being exchanged back and forth on social media between IS supporters and Saudi citizens using hashtag #Rafha.

Social media was also abuzz with pictures of the alleged Saudi border checkpoint that was captured by IS militants.

So, not only are ISIS – I cringe at the name – far superior to our armed forces, because we certainly couldn’t conquer the Middle East alone, the 40 odd members tweet their 1.2 million followers to let them know how they are getting on.

Just invaded Saudi Arabia innit LOL #fuckingeasy… Gonna roll me a fat one now and chill for the rest ov the day… Laters ras clarts.

And still they find the time to lop off a head or two whilst threatening to invade the White House, Canada Dry or whatever their official Prime Mincer’s residence is called, Buck House, etc, etc, etc.

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Indeed, it is at times like this that I think maybe the world would be better off just ending:

David Cameron has slammed the ‘murderous barbarity’ of ISIS while facing fresh criticism for paying his respects to the former king of Saudi Arabia who did little to fix his country’s shameful human rights record.

His decision to visit the desert kingdom was met with furious condemnation, with former Conservative MP Louise Mensch saying the Saudi regime is ‘no worse than ISIS’.

Along with Prince Charles, the Prime Minister went to Saudi Arabia to pay tribute to King Abdullah, who died this week aged 90.

This was despite the Saudi king overseeing a rule that saw death by stoning for adultery and regular beheadings.

At the same time, Mr Cameron spoke out against the latest terrorist act by ISIS.

The Prime Minister said Britain ‘stands in solidarity with the Japanese people’ and backs the ‘firm stance’ taken by his counterpart in Tokyo, Shinzo Abe. Source

Honest to fucking Dog, when you know what is really going on here, the news takes on a totally cringe inducing quality mixed with a very real sense of anger & frustration.

Indeed I don’t even need to see the old fanny pretence of a beheading to know its fake.

How do I know?

Quite simple. Jihadi John Lennonadi has as much credibility as Sammy Lou Where-Are-You… He doesn’t exist.

And anyway, even in the land of make believe wasn’t Johnny 2 Bad definitely killed or at the very least on deaths door the other month?

And then we had Ca-Moron stating that MI5  know who John, John the terrorists son was before he went on his beheading spree… And then the Prime Mincer came out with the whopper that the SAS were on stand-by and were expected to snatch Johnny off the Syrian streets sometime within the next 24 hours and the herberts lap it up:

“About bloody time”… “Whats the point he will get off with a slap on the wrist and sign on the dole”“You mean there is an election coming up”“Typical Cameron and his weak nature. He should pay an expert marksman to take him out. One clean head shot, job done. Instead we will pay through the nose to keep him in prison. When will people learn”“Oh well done Daily Mail. Why don’t you blab the SAS’s plans all over the world. All JJ has to do is read this paper to stay one step ahead”“Who’s Jihadi John”

But as I say, it is all bollocks and I would stake my life on that.

Never the less, my friend Kelvin Pope sent me some stills from the old fanny and as you can see they are no different from the other staged beheadings.

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Thanks Kelvin. Had you not sent them I wouldn’t have even bothered looking to be honest. Never the less, straight away you see the strange ridges and what-nots underneath the jumpsuit.

Indeed, as you know it has now got to the stage where the government will shit out a lie and if the public believe it, then alls well and good. And if they don’t swallow it hook line and sinker – who gives a fuck, no one is going to do anything about it anyway.

Now, before I prove my point here, I best warn you first off that what follows will leave most of you shaking your head in a mixture of disbelief and anger.

Okay, the following text from the Catholic Online website is self explanatory:

 ISIS has gleefully tweeted yet more photos of their mayhem, showing the beheading of several victims in gruesome detail. Catholic Online remains the only media outlet to publish the uncensored images.

 LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) – Several concerned readers have wrote to Catholic Online asking why we are showing the most graphic images of the activity of Islamic State terrorists. The answer is simple. The world must see and recognize what we are dealing with.

The Islamic State terrorists are an existential threat to the world. They have pledged attacks on the United States, proclaiming that their flag will fly over the White House. They show no signs of stopping either.

Help now, give today for these victims of genocide!

Despite U.S. airstrikes, which are very likely to increase their popularity and help with recruiting efforts, the Islamic State is redoubling their attacks and intends to spread across the entire Middle East. If they are somehow defeated in Iraq and Syria, the survivors are likely to disperse and conduct terror attacks wherever they can, including in the United States.

Presently, Christians and others who refuse to accept their rule, are being subjected to all forms of torture and killing. Beheading is a favorite, although simple shooting is common. In another report, about 500 Yadizi people were buried alive. The remainder who have not fled the Islamic State are being ordered to convert or die within 24 hours.

What these men gleefully did to the unfortunate victims in the images below, they will do to you. Pixelating the image or pulling punches does you a disservice, sanitizing a brutal affair that includes the systematic genocide of entire races and faiths. The world’s most ancient Christian communities are being eradicated.

Even children are being murdered.

It is our responsibility to pull the lid off of Hell so the entire world can peek inside. Don’t like what you see? Don’t merely gripe about the images.

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Act today to help these people.

Your Catholic Voice Foundation working though Catholic Online is sending money directly to the Chaldeans who are victims of this genocide. Money from donors like you has now been sent to the Chaldean Catholic Diocese of St. Peter the Apostle for immediate aid. They provide ministry to Chaldean and Assyrian Catholics and we will be working directly with Bishop Sarhad Jammo.

We all learned about the Holocaust in school. We all promised to ourselves to do our part, if ever confronted with such evil in the world. Well, here it is. Have a good, long look, and act in accord with your conscience.

The usual God Squad scam of give us your fucking money then… And being good Catholics no doubt that a small fortune will be netted… Wanna see this graphic, fully uncensored photo that ISIS tweeted and no other news outlet has the kahunas to publish?

Drum roll please… And it goes without saying that I would not have the front to publish this photo… Not in the context that the God-Squad Website have published it anyway… And to add insult to injury I am going to include their photo caption… TADAHHHH:

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An ISIS terrorist jams his fingers into his victim’s eyes as he beheads him. The gory execution is intended to intimidate others

Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha, Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha… Let me hear you say Bo Selecta.

It’s proper Bo that is… But you see what I mean. No one takes a blind bit of notice.

And remember, the God-Squad are touting the photo as uncensored… So send them some of your hard earned Monopoly money. And if they ask if you are taking the piss, tell em yes, but they fucking started it.

Now, to get back on topic, after another round of old bollox was published about Jihadi John towards the end of last year, which I subsequently commented on, I happened to notice how much he looked like Nappy from N-Dubz.

And that fact led me to do some digging and what I discovered was that Nappy is being proper, proper looked after.

Now, you can poo-poo that fact if ya like, but it is never the less true. You see, Nappy – being a short arsed little cunt – appears to have the need to prove how hard he is and as such, he has a tendency to assault people at the drop of a hat… As long as his mates are there to back him up obviously.

And sometimes he will even assault blokes… Only sometimes though. Anyway, this has led to Judges handing down more suspended prison sentences to the pint sized former celebrity than he has had hit records.

Yet he always ends up twatting someone before the suspended sentences are done, which should mean that he automatically serves the prison sentence that was suspended on the basis that he doesn’t offend for the duration of however long the sentence is suspended for.

And the fact that he never does, makes a mockery of the mockery that is our justice system.

Now, this is quite important in my opinion so I am going to repost what I wrote about him in full. Moreover, the piece mentions the desperate-for-fame, Keith Chegwin who is in the Big Brother house at the moment so that makes this re-posting even more relevant… Despite it being relevant anyway:

A British rapper who travelled to Syria to fight for ISIS has posted a photograph on Twitter showing himself posing with a severed head.

The sickening image was taken in the city of Raqqa – the capital of ISIS’ self-declared caliphate – and uploaded to the social media site along with the caption ‘Chillin’ with my homie or what’s left of him.’

The photograph shows masked former rapper Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary, 23, holding the decapitated head while standing in Raqqa’s central square – the same location where the seven-year-old son of Australian jihadist Khaled Sharrouf was seen holding a different severed head earlier this week.

The shocking image of Bary emerged as ISIS militants seized a number of key towns and villages close to Syria’s northern border with Turkey.

Horrific: The photograph shows masked former rapper Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary, 23, holding the decapitated head while standing in Raqqa's central square

And as many of you will know, Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary is the fella who was splashed all over the front pages of the national press after being named as the now infamous Jihadi John A’lennonadi of the elite IS Beatle Squadron.

You just couldn’t make this shite up… It really is comedy gold.

Former rapper Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary, 23, is understood to have walked out of his family's £1million home in Maida Vale, west London, last year to join ISIS, telling them he was 'leaving everything for the sake of Allah'

Jihadi Ringo Starradi… Originally identified as being Jihadi John A’lennonadi .

Mind you, I can’t help but think that Ringo looks like Nappy from N-Dubz.

I call him Nappy because most of the time he is full of shit.

And when all is said and done, If Sammy Lou Lew can be Adele, then why the fuck can’t Nappy be the fella originally accused of being Jihadi John?

I mean, that little twat would be a piece of piss for the Security Services to manipulate into playing the role and perfect for the part too.

After all, Nappy is a Hip Hop Skip & Jump star in the music business and since he is very well known, no one would ever suspect him of playing the Jihadi John part… Fuck me, most don’t even suspect Jihadi John of being a Security Service asset, let alone an imposter played by Nappy.

Nappy is also very well in with various politicians and his career is without a doubt in the doldrums.

And I say that because like the vast majority of ‘has beens’, Nappy will no doubt also do anything for attention.

I mean, who can forget Keith Chegwin’s ‘Naked Jungle’ quiz show… Scarred me for fucking life that did.

From Cheggars plays pop – goes a weasel – to the Naked Jungle. Such are the pit-falls of fame.

And don’t forget that Nappy, whose real name is Costadinos Contostavlos, was a much bigger star than Cheggars ever was – Although I didn’t watch the Knob-Ed Celeb Big Brother that he appeared in so I can’t comment.

Never the less, the bigger they are, the harder they fall and my point is that Nappy is undoubtedly desperate to be back in the fold so to speak.

He also apparently loves his children, but sadly Nappy, who is only 3 ft 5 inches tall – around that mark anyway, but definitely no more than an inch or two taller – also suffers from chronic LMS*.

*Little Man Syndrome

Now, I am not saying that Nappy and Jihadi Johnny Bag are 100 percent one and the same person.

But as I say, they do look alike and Nappy has either got the luck of the Irish, or he is being protected because the abusive little cunt has a very long criminal record.

And as we know all too well in this cuntry of ours, young mothers who are in abusive relationships are a prime source of young child stock replenishment for the elite as well as adding to the money go round child adoption system pot… Which ties in with Nappy’s abusive nature.

Now read this from Wikipedia:

During December 2008, Dappy pleaded guilty to two accounts of assault at Chelmsford Magistrates Court, Essex after reportedly spitting in a girl’s face while drunk on a night out.

Dappy pleaded guilty to the offences and for each count received four weeks’ imprisonment, suspended for 12 months, to run concurrently and 100 hours community service. He was also ordered to pay £50 compensation to the girl and her friend and £300 costs.

On 29 January 2009, Contostavlos was arrested and bailed after he was accused of making death threats with a gun. He denied the allegation. His home in Camden was raided following the incident, by police looking for a firearm.

Three days later he was removed from an Edinburgh to London flight by police after it touched down, with fellow N-Dubz performer Fazer, after appearing to be acting disorderly. A source said: “They were swearing at kids on the plane, being foul and threatening passengers.

Cabin crew called ahead to the police, who were waiting when the plane landed. They were taken away by armed officers.”

How the fuck did he make bail if he had been sentenced just 4 weeks earlier to two concurrent suspended prison sentences?

Never the less:

On 12 January 2010, Contostavlos appeared on The Chris Moyles Show on BBC Radio 1 with Fazer and Tulisa. The show received a text message from a woman in Boston, Lincolnshire, complaining that Dappy was “vile” and “a little boy with a silly hat” and that N-Dubz were “losers”.

Dappy secretly copied her phone number from the studio console and, the following day, tried calling her and sent threatening messages including: “Your [sic] gonna die. U sent a very bad msg towards Ndubz on The Chris Moyels [sic] show yesterday Morning and for that reason u will never be left alone!!! u say sorry I will leave u alone u ****.”

Chloe Moody claimed that she continued to receive messages after declining to apologise, one of which said: “u dum f****** ***head u can call me names over the radio but when I call u direct u chicken out u punk!nana f****** niii, Dappy”).

Dappy’s management later apologised on his behalf and offered free tickets to one of his concerts, but he has not apologised to Moody personally.

And N-Dubz were already working with the government at this point:

N-Dubz were subsequently dropped from the Government’s anti-bullying “R U Cyber Safe?” campaign.

The rapper previously appeared with Schools Secretary Ed Balls to launch pop single “R U Cyber Safe?” in November 2009, and Balls said he was “thrilled to have them on board”.

And then there is the drugs:

In April 2010, Dappy apologised on GMTV after CCTV pictures were published of his taking the illegal drug Mephedrone in a night club. He apologised, insisting “It’s just not a thing to be doing. I’ve learnt my mistake. I’ll never do such things again”, going on to say, “I was just a bit tipsy and it just fell into the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Following the mephedrone apology, Dappy was asked to leave Alton Towerstheme park hotel in Staffordshire, for allegedly smoking cannabis after guests complained about a “funny smell” coming from his room. An Alton Towers spokesperson told Sky News that “We can confirm a guest was asked to leave.”

Nappy’s promises mean fuck all then… Keep going Wiki:

Dappy lives in St Albans with his girlfriend, Kaye Vassell, and their two sons, Gino and Milo. Gino was born in January 2009 and Dappy’s second son, Milo, was born on 10 December 2010

In September 2011, he revealed that he puts pepper into his toddler’s mouth when he swears which received a lot of criticism from parents and critics.

Hmmm, now according to the Star newspaper, who broke that story:

Dappy, real name Costadinos ­Contostavlos, who has Gino and nine-month-old Milo with his long-term girlfriend Kaye Vassell, 20, confessed: “I’m pretty strict as a parent.

“You need to discipline your kids, today more so than ever, I think.

“If my son is rude or says a swear word, then I put black pepper in his mouth– on the tip of his tongue – and slap his wrist.”

Dappy claimed his mum did the same to him when he was a troublesome child growing up in Camden, north London. Source

You would have thought that the little twat would have known that the punishment doesn’t work then!

But fuck me, can you imagine the consequences for anyone else had they just casually mentioned to a social worker that they season their sons tongue as a matter of routine?  Let alone the fucking nation?

Carry on:

In October 2011, Dappy was arrested on suspicion of assaulting the mother of his two children, Kaye Vassell, and was later released without charge.

So, he is abusive to the mother of his kids – an abusive relationship – as well as abusive towards his children!

In February 2012, he was arrested and bailed on suspicion of affray, along with a second man after a reported incident involving two women and a group of men at a filling station in Guildford, Surrey.

Whichever way you look at it then, Nappy has a very long record of assaulting women.

In 2012, Dappy was again obliged to apologise after calling in a music video for the release of Learco Chindamo, the murderer of Headmaster Philip Lawrence. He later claimed he hadn’t realised Chindamo was a murderer.

Mr Lawrence’s widow, Frances, said she didn’t find the apology ‘entirely convincing’, especially as her name had been wrongly spelt.

Think yourself lucky that you got an apology love, Chloe Moody didn’t… And to be fair, at least Nappy is consistent in his insincerity.

In January 2013, Nappy appeared at Guildford Crown Court on charges relating to his aforementioned arrest in February 2012 and was subsequently found guilty of Assault By Beating.

The following is from Sky News:

The 25-year-old was also convicted by a jury at Guildford Crown Court of a charge of assault by beating, which involved him spitting at a man.

The singer was cleared of two charges of common assault in which he was accused of spitting at – but missing – two 19-year-old women. Source

He likes that spitting at birds malarkey doesn’t he!

However, that is only half the story.

You see, despite giving it the ‘big un’, the fella that Nappy assaulted – which initially came in the form of him also spitting at the fella  – proceeded to knock the bejesus out of the little shit.

Sky News continues:

The week-long trial heard how Dappy had been out on February 27 last year celebrating the release of his single Rockstar featuring Queen guitarist Brian May.

After spending the night in the VIP area of the Casino nightclub in Guildford, Dappy and his friends were travelling back in three cars to a recording studio in Godalming.

They stopped at a Shell garage in Woodbridge Road at about 3.30am, when Dappy approached Grace Cochran and Serena Burton.

Prosecutor Brian Stork said the women had been sitting on the kerb outside the station shop where Dappy tried to persuade them to get into the car with him.

The court was told that when they refused these advances and began to ridicule him, Dappy allegedly became angry and insulted them.

He was then accused of spitting at them but missing – the two counts of common assault faced by the singer.

Mr Stork said a man called David Jenkins who had been talking to the two women then stepped in to protect them, but was spat at by Dappy.

This spitting, which hit Mr Jenkins, made up the charge of assault by beating. The trial was told that saliva was found on Mr Jenkins’ T-shirt which had a DNA link to Dappy.

The court heard that Mr Jenkins put the rapper in a headlock, leading to several other people joining in the fight.

Or put another way, Nappy was saved by his brother in law and his hangers on… And even then, they appear not to have fared very well according to Sky News:

This included two other defendants, Kieran Vassell, 25, of west London, and Kalonji Stewart, 32, of Birmingham, who were both charged with affray.

The jury convicted Vassell but cleared Stewart.

A fourth man, Alfred Miller, 28, of west London, had pleaded guilty to affray and his sentencing was adjourned.

The trial heard that Mr Jenkins suffered several broken teeth in the fight while another man, Oliver Billson, suffered a swollen eye and Christopher Gibson sustained a broken nose.

Dappy had denied attempting to pick up the two women and told the court that he only spoke to them to promote his single.

Judge Neil Stewart adjourned the case for reports to be prepared on Dappy and Vassell.

Sentencing will be carried out on February 15. The pair were released on unconditional bail until then.

In January 2013, Contostavlos was found guilty by a jury at Guildford Crown Court of assault by beating. Sentencing was adjourned by Judge Neil Stewart in order to prepare pre-sentence reports. Sentencing took place on the 15th February 2013.

I fucking hate bullies.

Never the less, given mind to Nappy’s not inconsequential previous form and the fact that he was convicted in Crown Court after pleading “not guilty”, surely to Dog, the short arsed little cunt would be sent to prison this time?

Was he fuck.

In fact according to the BBC, Nappy only received a six month suspended sentence:

The court was read details of Contostavlos’s criminal record, including a six-month suspended sentence for affray and assault in February 2012.

A trial last year heard how he sparked a “mob-handed attack” when he spat at Grace Cochran and Serena Burton, who were both 19, at a filling station in Guildford. Source

Now, that BBC report from the 19th of June 2014 was actually in relation to another assault committed by Nappy, which took place on the 27th of February 2013 – And this is quite unbelievable, but never the less true – which was just two days after he had received that 6 month suspended sentence.

So surely to fuck he got a prison sentence this time?

Nope!

You see, according to that same BBC article:

The former N-Dubz singer Dappy has been fined £800 for slapping a man outside a nightclub.

George Chittock was attacked by the singer after an event at Chicago’s in Chelmsford on 27 February.

George Chittock was attacked by the singer after an event in Chelmsford

Dappy, 27, of St Albans, Hertfordshire, was at Chelmsford Magistrates’ Court under his real name Dino Costas Contostavlos.

Mr Contostavlos was also told to pay a victim surcharge of £80 and costs of £930.

Yet that still isn’t the end of it.

You see, just 8 months AFTER receiving that 6 months suspended sentence and 8 months BEFORE receiving that £1000 in fines, Nappy assaulted another mush on October the 6th 2013.

Moreover, in what was probably done as a PR exercise in order to give the piss ant’s long criminal record a bit more respectability, that assault charge from October 2013 was not heard in court until September 5th 2014 – less than two weeks ago.

Former N-Dubz singer Dappy has been found guilty of assaulting a man at a nightclub in Reading.

The 27-year-old, who was tried under his real name of Costadinos Contostavlos, had denied attacking Devonn Reid during a public appearance at the Evissa club on October 6 last year.

Reading Magistrates’ Court heard that a fight broke out because Contostavlos began chatting to Mr Reid’s female friend and girlfriend at the club’s bar, and that the singer punched him after Mr Reid told him not to talk to them.

Describing the lead-up to the incident, Mr Reid said he and his friends were on the dancefloor when Contostavlos, who had denied assault, approached them and asked them if they had a problem before offering them a drink.

Later Mr Reid said he saw his friend, Marie O’Reilly, and his girlfriend, Cydney Webb, chatting with Contostavlos at the bar, and that the singer had his arm around Ms O’Reilly.

He said: “I thought it was in a flirtatious way and I said to Marie ‘Why are you talking with him?’

“Dappy said to me ‘What, don’t you want me talking to them?’

“He said ‘Why don’t you want me talking to them?’, and I pointed to Marie and said ‘Don’t talk to none of them’.

“He said something and I said ‘What?’, and I turned to look at him and that is when he hit me straight on the nose.”

Mr Reid added: “He had just turned and hit me straight with his right hand.

“After that we just gone. Bouncers came and grabbed him, I have gone to the toilet to clean myself up. He had popped my nose.” Source

HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET IT TRIED AT A MAGISTRATES COURT GIVEN HIS PREVIOUS VIOLENT RECORD AND HIS NOT GUILTY PLEA????

Or are you going to try and tell me after reading all that, he isn’t being ‘looked after’ by someone with the power to influence judges…

In fact Nappy is a bit like his former band mate & 1st cousin Tulisa Contostavlos in the getting-off-lightly-stakes as it happens… But I won’t go into that now since I am a mile off track as it is.

Oh and did I tell you that Nappy’s old man, Byron Contostavlos was in Mungo Jerry’s band and was also N-Dubz manager up until he died in 2007?

Moreover, Tulisa’s father, Plato Contostavlos was also a member of Mungo Jerry and her mother, who along with her three sisters (Tulisa’s aunts) was a member of the 1980s all girl group, ‘Jeep’… And we all know about what goes on in the music world don’t we?

And I will tell you something else that is weird as fuck too.

The *aherm, aherm* comedian Jim Davidson attended that last court case of Nappys – the one that ended earlier this month:

During the trial, his friend, comedian Jim Davidson, attended court in a show of moral support.

Outside court, Davidson said: “Dappy is a good friend of mine. I don’t know what’s happened in this case but I’m just here to show him my support.”

Davidson had offered to be a character witness, but Dappy’s legal team declined.

Bench chairman Angela Tucker said the magistrates found Contostavlos was not under any physical threat at the time of the incident.

Jim Davidson

Jim Davidson turned up on Wednesday to offer support to Dappy, who he described as a “good friend”

Now tell me that there is nothing weird about a 27 year old Hip Hop star being very close friends with a 60 year old has-been comedian?

Never the less, talk is cheap so best we compare photos of Nappy and the fella who as it now turns out, isn’t Jihadi Johnny bag but is never the less touted in the press as being the son of a convicted terrorist, who was also a right hand man to Osama Bin Laden.

Moreover, as I mentioned at the beginning, the Ringo kid is supposedly up to his eyes in severed heads over in Syria… Unless he is Nappy of course.

article-2723659-2080534B00000578-159_634x502

As it happens, he probably isn’t JJ… In your eyes anyway.

On the other hand, I’m pretty that it is, but never the less Nappy’s story is well worthy of an inclusion and we will have to beg to differ.

And I think that I have also now sussed out why ISIS use Jihadi Johnny Bag for the beheadings… Look at this photo:

ScreenShot2014-08-22at12616PM_zps17b07f9a

That is allegedly Jimmy Foley after Jihadi John had finished with him.

Now check out this next photo:

Look at the fucking mess!

No wonder they gave the executioners job to Jihadi John. He is so fucking clean & tidy.

Never the less, I really shouldn’t joke.

After all, this is a massive fucking crock of horse shit that we are being sold… And the fact that as a nation we are paying £17.4 Billion pounds a year in the form of the Security Services yearly budget – just to be sold a crock of horse shit – absolutely fucking stinks.

I mean, that yearly budget works out to around £275 pound per year for every man woman & child in the cuntry.

Worse still, that is a fucking big chunk of money to lay out on what is in reality a 25 million to one shot of being killed by a terrorist here in the UK.

And with a 20 million to one chance of being killed by a terrorist for those living in the USA, neither are the odds much worse than over here.

Moreover, the lowest estimate that I was able to find for the American intelligence services annual budget was $80 Billion Dollars.

Now have a look at these statistics:

And fuck me, even the world wide odds of anyone being killed by a terrorist are only a staggering 9.4 million to one chance.

THERE IS NO FUCKING TERRORIST THREAT… Geddit?…

Okay, even if you disagree that Nappy is JJ, I am sure that you will agree that he is either the luckiest little fucker in the world or he is being protected for some reason.

Moreover, as I said in the article, the same could be said for Nappy’s 1st cousin, the much better looking Tulisa… Although to be fair, she was found not guilty on the Charlie supply charge and as such, she is innocent of the crime… Even if she done it.

Now the thing is, since writing that piece on Nappy, the little toss-pot has been at it again:

A judge has ordered N-Dubz rapper Dappy to behave but said he will not go back to jail – despite breaching his sentence for punching a nightclubber.

The 27-year-old, whose real name is Costadinos Contostavlos, arrived at St Albans Crown Court after he reportedly missed a probation appointment and showed up late for a ‘self-control’ workshop.

He was serving a suspended prison sentence after being found guilty in September of assaulting a football coach on the dancefloor of Evissa nightclub in Reading, Berkshire.  

Dappy was also subject to a four-month curfew with an electronic tag keeping him at home between 10pm and 5am and ordered him to pay a fine and compensation. 

The attack happened after the rapper began chatting to a man’s girlfriend and female friend and got into a brawl with coach Devonn Reid, leaving him with a bleeding nose. 

Mr Reid was out celebrating his 21st birthday at the club when he asked the rapper to stop talking to the women. 

Dappy denied the attack, claiming he had felt threatened by a ‘group of six or seven big boys’ at the bar and said he’d been pulled away by a bouncer before a punch was thrown.  

He was also serving another suspended sentence at the time for spitting in the face of two teenage girls at a petrol station in Guildford, Surrey, in February 2012, while on a night out.

The former Celebrity Big Brother star and cousin of singer Tulisa Contostavlos, was also fined £800 last year for slapping a man at a nightclub in Chelmsford, Essex.

Arriving at court on Wednesday, the rapper carried a packed black bag in preparation for a custodial sentence. Continue Reading

Now,  quite why the judge said that Nappy will not go back to prison is anyones guess since he wasn’t there in the first fucking place… Never the less, I do not know of anyone who could avoid prison in similar circumstances.

Therefore, you’s lot can decide for yourselves but I am now more than ever convinced that he is up to something more than just singing… Just sayin’.

DAPPY-LOOKING-IN-MIRROR