Still taking the piss then Ma’am

The Daily Mail. Foreword by Spivey


First we had the scandal of the tight arsed Queen advertising for a new gardener for the measly sum of less than £300 PW.  It now seems that the piss taking old Crone must have been taking some advice from her Jewish Granddaughter in law because she’s now after employing new Kitchen staff for the meagre sum of £273 PW.

I’m not going to repeat how she is taking the right fucking piss. The argument is more or less the same as I set out in the article about the gardener which you can read here:

However, you would have thought that with our Government Ministers now displaying open contempt for those out of work. As well as being ultra hypocritical, by openly labelling those on benefits as ‘Scroungers’, the very least that the richest scrounger in the world could do is pay wages that wouldn’t necessitate her employees having to top up their income with benefits… Fucking  piss taking old Bitch.

But what really irks me, is the very same Newspaper that is running the story is also running one about Kate Gold-Digger-Smith (Below the 1st article), which tells us that while on her most recent tour of South East Asia and the Pacific, the Duchess took along 61 items of clothing, footwear and accessories worth around £1,427 per outfit. Course, why she needed that many items of clothes for a 9 day, public funded  holiday is beyond me. 

However, the point is, those 61 outfits have a combined worth of  over £87,000. Or, put another way, over 6 years work for a Buckingham Palace Kitchen Hand… Still taking the piss then Ma’am? Why are you people not outraged?

 Please mind the Royal Doulton: Queen posts job advert for £14,000-a-year dish-washer to travel around palaces

The Queen is recruiting a washer-up who must be willing to travel for up to three months of the year around her palaces – just to do the dishes.

The £14,200-a-year employee will be based at Buckingham Palace but must be able to travel with a dishcloth to Windsor and Sandringham, and also to Balmoral and Holyroodhouse in Scotland.

A ‘General Catering Assistant (Wash Up)’ – as it has been described in a job advert – will work for 40 hours per week on the team ‘responsible for maintaining the cleanliness of the staff restaurant’.

Lots of washing up: Staff members lay the state banquet table in the ballroom of London's Buckingham PalaceLots of washing up: Staff members lay the state banquet table in the ballroom of London’s Buckingham Palace

Job opening: Queen Elizabeth II (pictured a fortnight ago on Christmas Day) is recruiting a washer-upJob opening: Queen Elizabeth II (pictured a fortnight ago on Christmas Day) is recruiting a washer-up

The employee should be ‘punctual and reliable’, ‘able to work well in a team and have a flexible and willing attitude’ and ‘happy to travel and work at other royal residences in the UK and at weekends’.

The advert on the British Monarchy’s website added that it was ‘desirable’ for potential employees – who must get in their applications by next Tuesday – to ‘have experience of a similar type of role’.



‘You must be willing to work away at other royal residences for approximately three months of the year,’ it said, adding that the person will help ‘ensure smooth operation of the staff restaurant’.

‘You will join the team responsible for maintaining the cleanliness of the staff restaurant, (and) wash-up areas and equipment in accordance with the health and hygiene regulations,’ it added.

Posting: A 'General Catering Assistant (Wash Up)' - as it has been described in a job advert - will work for 40 hours per week on the team 'responsible for maintaining the cleanliness of the staff restaurant'Posting: A ‘General Catering Assistant (Wash Up)’ – as it has been described in a job advert – will work for 40 hours per week on the team ‘responsible for maintaining the cleanliness of the staff restaurant’

Other job vacancies currently on the Queen’s website include openings for a ticket sales assistant, building surveyor, retail assistant and warden team leader.

In October the Queen advertised for a gardener to maintain her Buckingham Palace lawns to ‘the highest standards’, encourage wildlife and recycle waste at her home – all for less than £300 a week.

The green-fingered candidate for the £14,950-a-year job also had to be proficient in ‘good organic horticultural practices’ when tending the Palace’s shrub, herbaceous and rose borders.

In the same month the Queen also advertised for a new £26,000-a-year Royal party organiser, as she looked for someone to help manage and co-ordinate private and official royal functions.


Kate by numbers: From hat tilt to curl width, the Duchess of Cambridge’s vital statistics



Vogue magazine has analysed the outfits Kate has worn since her marriage to Prince William on April 29 2011, plus a handful from before the royal engagement

Her dresses sell out within hours of her wearing them; her hairstyle is copied in salons across the country.

But all those seeking to emulate the Duchess of Cambridge’s style no longer have to pore over photographs.

They can simply consult Vogue’s complete guide to Kate.

From the diameter of her curls to the number of teeth she shows when she smiles, nothing has escaped the fashion bible’s scrutiny.

Ahead of her 31st birthday tomorrow, the magazine has analysed outfits the duchess has worn since her marriage to Prince William in April 2011, plus a handful from before the couple’s engagement – 100 in total.

So to be a true copy Kate, you should wear blue, ensure the average drop of your earrings is 33mm – and carry your clutch bag with both hands.

According to the guide, when it comes to her clothes, Kate’s favourite colour appears to be blue, which she has worn on 24 per cent of occasions.

From peacock to Prussian, it is her out and out favourite.

She also favours red (13 per cent) – which she wore for the occasion of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee Pageant – followed by white (12 per cent) and, less popularly with the public, grey (11 per cent).

Next on the list is purple (9 per cent), multi coloured or patterned outfits (eight per cent) pink ( seven per cent) and green ( six per cent).

Cream and yellow both languish at the bottom of the league table on five per cent.

By far and away most outfits worn on her last 100 official engagements come from top end High Street store LK Bennett – worn on 28 public engagements.

But designer Alexander McQueen, whose outfits cost several thousand pounds apiece and who the Duchess chose to design her wedding dress, is her next favourite label with 14.

Other designers in Kate’s top five are Jenny Packham (six), who has designed some of her most stunning evening dresses, and Temperley (eight).

Once the high street Queen, Zara languishes at seven (probably because the firm have a huge store just a short hop from her home at Kensington Palace).

But surprisingly Reiss, the label Kate wore to meet US President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle at Buckingham Palace, does not even register.

Vogue have even made it their business to scrutinise the length of the Duchess’s sleeves – finding that 6:1 being the most commonly seen arm-to-sleeve-length ratio.

‘All the better to display the royal wrist-bling,’ it says.

The magazine estimates that on her most recent tour of South East Asia and the Pacific, the Duchess took along 61 items of clothing, footwear and accessories worth around £1,427 per outfit (compared to the late Diana, Princess of Wales whose tour outfits costs the modern equivalent of £4,270 a pop).

Kate’s other most talked-about asset is her glorious tumbling tresses and the magazine has even, unbelievably, worked out the average diameter of her curls – 25mm.

The Duchess goes for a glossy ‘Chelsea blow dry’ 73.4 of the time – a perfectly achievable goal if one, like Kate, has a hairdresser on call 24 hours a day.

Just like on her wedding day, she favours a chic half-up half-down do 13.6 per cent of the time, wearing it either naturally loose and curly or in a ponytail 6.5 per cent of occasions.

Her accessories are equally closely monitored.

Apparently the Duchess has perfected the tilt of her hats and fascinators – always to the right at a stylish 50 degree angle – to show off her enviable cheekbones.

The average dimension of her favourite clutch bags is 194mm by 132 mm and she carried them as thus: one handed 31 per cent, left hand over right 15.5 per cent, right hand over left 5.5 per cent, hands together 48 per cent.

Her favoured shoe designer is the upmarket Stuart Weitzman – sported on 13 public engagements out of the last 100 – closely followed by Jimmy Choo (well you would do, wouldn’t you?) at nine official events.

The Duchess in one of her blue dresses as her engagement to Prince William was announced

The analysis found Kate favoured the colour blue, having been seen wearing it on 24 per cent of occasions, while green dresses only made it to six per cent

Even her earrings do not escape scrutiny – the average drop measuring exactly 33 mm.

One of her favourites pairs is a glittering sapphire and diamond set once owned by William’s mother, the late Diana, Princess of Wales, who sported them on the cover of Vogue in July 1994.

Seventeen years later, on her July 2011 official tour to Canada, Kate wore them in public again after having them slightly remodelled.

Even her teeth do not escape the eagle eye of the fashionistas.

Apparently the Duchess, who is believed to have had her teeth whitened and straightened by ‘micro-rotation’ – using invisible braces attached to the back of each tooth – shows an average of 8.6 teeth when she smiles.

The February issue of Vogue is on sale from Thursday.

The Duchess has developed into a fashion icon, as dresses sell out within hours of her wearing them and salons across the country are asked to emulate her hairstyle


Council spends £5,000 on a loo for the Queen – but she doesn’t even use it

Last updated at 19:13 16 October 2007

The QueenRoyal wee: Queen Elizabeth

A council has been caught short of cash after spending £5,000 on a toilet for the Queen – which she didn’t even use.

Officials were left staggered when they totted up the cost of Her Majesty’s visit to their town and realised it had cost them an astonishing £20,000 an hour.

Royal officials told trip organisers Her Majesty would not use an old toilet and insisted a new one be installed in the town hall before her visit – in case she needed a “royal wee”.

But the brand new toilet remained unused during the three hour walkabout in Romsey, Hants.

The extra expense of the toilet added to the council’s troubles as the cost of the visit escalated out of control.

The trip, marking the 400th anniversary of Romsey Town Council’s Royal Charter, was expected to cost just £20,000.

But councillors were too embarrassed to cancel when they found out weeks before the Queen was due to arrive that the true cost would be a staggering £38,000 more.

Rule changes meant the police were no longer responsible for security costs and the council also had to pay for barriers, cones and even evacuation plans to be drawn up.

The council is now asking Test Valley Borough Council to cover the “unforseen” costs and one councillor has offered to contribute £5,000 from his own expenses.

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Throne: the toilet was built specially for the Queen to use during her visit to Romsey

Romsey town clerk Judith Giles was amazed when the Queen’s officials insisted on a new toilet.

She said: “I told the Buckingham Palace officials that the toilets were not in pristine condition but they were clean.

“They said you will have to replace it, there was no argument. It was ‘you must do it’.”

Mrs Giles revealed how the trip has wiped out the council’s reserves, worth more than a third of its annual £160,000 budget.

She said: “The extra costs did not come to light until four weeks before the visit.

“The embarrassment of having to cancel four weeks before the Queen was coming wouldn’t have been in the interest of Hampshire.”

Hairdresser Nick Martin, who was forced to cover up the Trevor Mitchell sign on his shop for the visit, did not believe it was good value for money.

He said: “I’m not against the Royal family. It’s good she came.

“But from a business point of view and the cost of the visit I don’t think it was necessary.”

The Queen and Prince Philip attended a service at Romsey Abbey in June this year before unveilling a charter stone and plague to commemorate Romsey being awarded Borough status by King James I in 1607.

Mayor of Romsey, Mark Cooper, said today: “If we do not recover the money from the district council we will have to put up the council tax precept next year.

“I’m not sure how much it will be yet – but we’re working on the sums at the moment.

“It was one of the most memorable days in Romsey history. I’ve since had a letter from the palace saying what a wonderful day it was.”