Piers Morgan: The Americans don’t want him, so WTF makes them think that we do

Rustys skewed news

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Over in the good ole US of A (The Royal Virginia Company) CNN network television host Piers Moron (formerly Stefan O’Meara) has once again achieved pariah status – this time for engaging in a hostile attack against the Constitution of his host country – due targeting the immutable statutes of the Bill of Rights Second Amendment, and claiming all gun-toting Yanks are a bunch of chicken shit psychos just a single ‘missed’ psychotropic drug dose away from going postal.

Signatures on a petition to have Moron deported and sent back to Broken Britain are statistically increasing at a geometric rate proportionate to the ire and fury generated by his media broadcast condemnation for our Colonial Cousins (sic) cherished right to bear arms – and shoot whoever the fuck they like – with a total of 60,000-plus members of the National Gunslingers Association queuing up to stick their monikers down on the extradition demand so far.

Once again, in what obviously amounts to a fatal character flaw, Moron failed to engage brain prior to opening gob and with his customary unqualified arrogance went into tub thumping preacher mode, advocating the Congressional passage and implementation of nation-wide gun control to prevent similar tragedies alike the 14th December school shootings at Sandy Hook, Connecticut.

Conversely the trigger-happy pro-gun National Quick Draw Association (NQDA), boasting more than four million members, has rejected the need for tighter gun control, and drawing on a 2011 Small Arms Survey finding that there are 88.8 firearms for every 100 Americans, believes this figure should be increased to 2.5 handguns per each adult member of American household – with actual school teachers being kitted out with the same firepower as Seal Team 6 special forces troopers on a combat strike mission – to ensure they can put down Bolshie homicidal maniacs like Adam Lanza as soon as they get that give away Respidal / Gabitril medication-deficient ‘locked and loaded’ look in their crazed, bi-polar eyes.

So it looks like everyone’s favourite dickhead has done it again – been labelled as public enemy number one and as popular as a leper at a christening. The hapless Moron, known to friends and acquaintances alike as a ‘right cunt’, is perhaps best remembered over in the UK for slithering his way out of a well-deserved jail term for not only breaching insider trading laws but also overseeing a culture of phone hacking while he was top dog at the Daily Shitraker gutter press tabloid.

The Moron might well have attempted to sanitise his act to a lesser extent over the past few years but has a chain’s length of conspicuous dodgy links to Raving Rupert Mudrock’s News Corporation crime syndicate dating back to his earlier hacking days at the Scumbags Gazette.

Later, while editor of the Daily Shitraker he bought £20,000,000 zillion quids-worth of shares in the company producing the erectile dysfunction drug Viagra just days prior to having his tabloid’s Shitty Slickers column push the little blue aphrodisiac pill as ‘the bee’s knees for keeping your cock hard’ – and while the shit hit the fan for the journalists involved, Moron walked away without a criminal charge being filed.

However his come-uppance finally came in May 2004 after authorising the Daily Shitraker’s publication of photographs allegedly showing Iraqi prisoners being buggered byBritish Army troopers from the Queen’s Own 21st Sodomite Regiment – but within days the pix were shown to be crude fakes.

Under the banner headline ‘Whoops – We Fucked Up Again!’ the Shitraker responded that it had fallen victim to a calculated and malicious hoax staged by MI6 on orders from New Labour PM Tony Bliar – for the actual photos had previously appeared in Tel Aviv’s Pound of Flesh Gazette and were of a squad of Israeli bully boy thugs attached to the IDF’s 14th Hafganat Koah Brigade – which specializes in the slaughter of innocent Palestinian civilians – at their Facility 1391 interrogation and torture centre – gang raping a group of teenage West Bank prisoners.

Conversely, in a pathetic attempt to divert attention from the deportation petition – which Moron claims he couldn’t care less about as there’s always a vacancy for tossers like him somewhere in the media industry – or on Britain’s Got Talent or the X-Factor – he’s now begun tweeting about last weekend’s ‘lone gunman’ shooting / murder of two NY firefighters to further justify and promote his call for the abolition of the Second Amendment.

Apparently the headbanger responsible for the murders was an ex-convict who was previously jailed for killing his grandmother with a hammer – therefore, to Moron’s quirky way of thinking, this presents a sound argument for the passage of Congressional legislation to also ban hammers along with firearms.

Thought for the day. Well, what an unwanted Christmas present that is – having Piers Moron deported back to the UK. How about you guys keep the twat as we definitely don’t want the obnoxious prick back here – just dump him in one of the FEMA camps (red / extermination sector) – or shove him down on Level 6 of the Dulce Alien Research facility in New Mexico for a course of genetic experiments.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.