More Ant & Shit


Christopher Spivey


The Monster Minions sure are milking this Ant & Dec bullshit for all it’s worth.

Yet details of McPartlin’s arrest remain very sketchy indeed. In fact no one is saying how many times over the limit the knob-ed-celeb even was which I find very strange, albeit no doubt the Minions haven’t made that decision yet.

Mind you, the cunts are still pushing the fake news that a little girl was hurt in the first of the two invented car crashes involving McPartlin’s Mini, which I showed to be total bollox in my first article about the crash – which can be found HERE

And then, the day before McPartlin is due to appear in court (April 4th) the amateur dramatics are cancelled!

The court hearing for drink-drive accused Ant McPartlin has been postponed.

The TV presenter was due to appear at Wimbledon Magistrates’ Court on Wednesday charged with the offence.

The hearing was adjourned until April 16 following the collision on March 18. Source

I hope he had a doctors note.

Nevertheless, despite the lack of relevant details concerning the charade, the fraud peddling Chimp has still managed to get nearly another 150 articles out of the old bollox since I released that first article – which isn’t bad going for a shit-rag that specializes in making up the ‘truth‘.

Those fraud articles include many about Declan Donnelly’s wife falling pregnant – a spectacular coincidence as you will know if you have read my original article:

Declan Donnelly has spoken for the first time following reports that he is expecting his first child with wife Ali Astall.

The presenter, 42, confirmed the news in a brief statement published on social media platform Instagram on Sunday evening. 

Sharing a black and white image from his 2015 wedding to Ali, 40, he wrote: ‘Just wanted to say thank you for all the lovely message.

‘The news has sneaked out a little earlier than we had hoped but Ali and I are delighted to be expecting our first child. Thanks for all the love, we really appreciate it.’ Source

“The news has sneaked out a little earlier than we had hoped”… As if it fucking did… Talk about mugging the public off!

I mean, after 4 years together, and a number of articles in which Donnelly has gone public about the trouble that him and his ever-changing-in-looks wife have had conceiving (without any mention whatsoever of the fertility treatments open to a multi millionaire), they now manage the task at the height of the McPartlin controversy! Fuck off witcha.

Mind you, that pregnancy gave the Chump-Chimpz an opportunity to release around a dozen or so more farticles to keep the celebrity-obsessed fucktards public happy – most of which carried a headline either telling the fucktards public that Dec’s wife, Ali Astall (note the different surname) was showing a “hint of baby bump” or that she (possibly ‘he‘) was keeping that “hint of baby bump” under wraps:

Earlier this week, TV presenter Declan Donnelly announced that he and his wife Ali Astall are expecting their first child together.

And days after the joyous news was shared, Ali was spotted heading to work in west London on Thursday morning – and took her pet pooch with her for company, while Dec was seen heading home from a gym session.

The blonde beauty, 40, covered up her baby bump with a pink pastel coat, which she teamed with a white patterned top and black trousers, as she strolled along the streets of the English capital while toting a small collection of bags. Source

PHOTO: Ali Astall covering up her “baby bump” apparently

But of course the main point of the farticle was to [not so] covertly flog the brain-dead fucktards the shite get-up Astall was modelling:

Which by doing so, I feel sure that the unethical shit-rag are exploiting a loop-hole in the advertising laws. Certainly, it is most strange how the Monkey-Fraudz always know exactly what make the garments are and where to fucking buy them… At hugely inflated prices to boot.

And just so as you know that the “baby-bump” articles flogging shite clothes wear to those who need a check-up from the neck-up are not a one off, here is another example:

Declan Donnelly’s wife Ali Astal covered up her baby bump as she headed to work on Tuesday morning.

The wife of Saturday Night Takeaway presenter Dec looked chic in a smart black coat and skinny jeans as she headed out and about near her Chiswick home, followed by her husband a short while later.

Dec confirmed the couple are expecting their first child in a social media post on Sunday night, amid his presenting partner Ant McPartlin’s ongoing personal battles. Source

He’s a smug looking cunt isn’t she?

Nevertheless, in the vain hope that I too may get a hefty kick-back, here’s where you can get mugged off:

£1710… Bargain.

Mind you, I am fucked if I can see any hint of “baby bump” there, although these knob-ed-celebs do tend to get them quicker than we normal folk do… However, whereas your average woman’s ‘baby-bump’ tends to get extremely large, bordering on “how the fuck haven’t you burst yet”; those birds of knob-ed-celeb status tend to keep theirs at a slightly larger ratio of “baby-bump”… Kate Gold-Digger-Smiff for instance:

Well I suppose that the Monkey-Writers do have to try and explain the lack of belly-bump Smiff’s carrying some how, although how old wives tales qualify for world news is beyond me… However, any members of the fucktards public reading this who are sad enough to buy a bargain bit of tat for £170 (reduced from £215) be sure to mention my name when you do.

Course, unlike Gold-Digger-Smiff, her cousin-in-law Zara Tindall – seen in the photos above – does in fact look pregnant, which is kind of handy since her baby can double up for the 5th in line to the toilet throne when it is pretend born… Just like Mia Tindall doubles up for Prince George of Troglodyte now and then:

Which makes good business sense for the crime-family since the public are forking out millions of pounds per annum for people who don’t really exist… Which the ‘right-minded’ fucktards public are only too willing to believe that they do rather than accept that their skulls are full of monkey-spunk.

Indeed, we are now at a point where the press can print anything and it is more or less accepted as fact nationwide.

For instance what follows are some photos taken by “a member of the public” of the made-up persona Kate Gold-Digger-Smiff doing her shopping in Waitrose, while pretending to be 9 months pregnant:

That is supposedly Smiff’s protection Orifficer stood with his hands in his pockets watching the 9 month pretend pregnant fraud loading her shopping into the boot of her car. Course the fact that 5ft 10in Kate wearing a two inch heel must make matey somewhere around 7 ft 4 ins tall at the very least is perfectly believable… Although Kate could just as well be the made up persona Renault Meghan in the photo:

Now how can I put this?

I know: If any of you actually believes that Gold-Digger-Smiff does her own shopping or George the Trog goes to school then you have the same capacity for critical thinking as a flip-flop… And of course, the fact that Banana Dacre will have received a massive pay-day envelope from Waitrose will never have entered your tiny, tiny minds for one second… Despite the tell-tale clues contained within the old shite:

And don’t forget the kick-backs that the cunt will have now received from those selling the shite modeled by Smiff:

Muppets… But I am veering off topic, however, before I get back to Ali Astall, let me give you a little heads up.

You see, between November 23rd 2017 and February 1st 2018 the Royal sychophant Monkey-Boyz failed to write any articles at all directly about Prince Ed D’ball, his wife, Sophie Anybodies or their children, Louise & James – affectionately called ‘Lou Lou‘ and ‘Jim‘ by nobody.

Prior to that, apart from a series of about 4 farticles about Sophie Anybodies in November 2017, fairytales about the Wessex’s were at best, very sporadic. Yet in February 2018 four farticles about them appeared in the Chimp – two about Eddie & Sophie’s junket to Sri Lanka (nice work if you can get it) and two about young Louise’s prowess at horse-drawn carriage driving.

However, that 400 percent rise in headlines then died down to a single farticle in March. Yet come April – and as I write we are only four days in – the Wessex floodgates have opened:

And that to me suggests that something is afoot involving Ed & Anybodies, even when you take into consideration that the cringe-inducing hacks have managed to put out fifteen articles about the Duck and his hip problem in the same time span… With many more inevitably still to come.

Although the evil old bastard’s alleged hip problem kinda makes a mockery of the following article from last month:

Indeed, that article is about as credible as the ones that the slime-toads put out about Bizzy Lizzy off on her weekly horseback ride.

But lets get back to Declan Donnelly’s husband Ali Astall who is now being touted as a knob-ed-celeb… All 3 or 4 of her. Not that she was until the Monkey-Kuntz elevated her to such grand status obviously:

Although even the fucktards who read the shite appear positively underwhelmed.

PHOTO: Man & wife although which is which is anyone’s guess.

Personally, I would never go out with a woman who towered over me but that is just me… Course, on the other hand it can’t be easy for people of Donnelly’s height (5ft 4ins at best) to find a bird that doesn’t tower over them.

Mind you, having said that, Donnelly’s bird prior to Ali Anal stood around the 4ft 4in mark:

And just for the record:

Any adult human below the height of 4’10” (147 cm) is considered a dwarf. Source

Although I still say better to dwarf than be dwarfed… Which is certainly the case with Dec & Ali Anal:

Now I would suggest that Ali’s preference for high heels doesn’t do Dec’s lack of vertical inches any favours, but apparently wearing them doesn’t add hardly fuck all to a persons height… Well that is to say a significant number of people commented as such when I pointed out the anomaly in the height difference between Mental Markle (officially credited with being 5ft 7ins tall) and Prick Henry of Ginger Pubes (officially credited with being 6ft 1ins tall), despite Mental Meghan wearing 6 inch heels:

In which case the following photos must be photoshopped:

It’s a fucking good job that I am not sarcastic because some of you just gift me material to work with, you really do.

In fact if I was sarcastic I would probably point out that in Lisa Armstrong’s case – Armstrong being Ant McPartlin’s wife – wearing high heels actually makes you shorter:

But like I say, I am not sarcastic… Just disappointed in those who would rather clutch at straws than face the blatantly obvious.

Nevertheless, it has long been rumoured – and certainly ties in with the Monsters sick agenda – that Donnelly is a female to male transsexual, so I doubt that he is bothered about his birds height either way… And our Dec certainly makes for an okay looking bird that is for sure.

Now I say that after it was pointed out to me that Dec is a ringer for [alleged] Monkey-Writer, Annabel Cole:

Course, you know by the fact that she says she was more excited at the prospect of buying a pencil case than she was about attracting the attention of boys indicates that the farticle is total bollox… I mean 1987 was hardly the era for ‘the darling buds of may‘ and although I hate to admit it, I am older than her yet the only 15 year old virgin birds in my school year had already made a life long commitment to being ugly as fuck… And slightly smelly.

Nevertheless, let’s have a look at the evidence.

PHOTO: “Annabel Cole” and her ‘daughter’.

Well, she certainly looks like Declan Donnelly and with the farticle coming out at the height of the Ant & Dec old fanny, it is very much in keeping with the way that the Monster’s like to mug us off.

So, best we go compare:


Why the fuck not aye… In fact lets go for the photo of a young Cole:


One more?

I don’t mind if I do:

Annabel has apparently been writing for the Chimp since September 2015… And in that time she has written 13 articles in total… Cosmic.

Still, in other Chimp fake-news connected to the pair of cunts which has surfaced since the accident-that-never-was took place; and I notice that the Baboons have stopped with that £155 Million divorce sum bollox, that the knuckle-dragging apes quoted numerous times as being the figure that McPartlin would have to pay Armstrong – note the different surname.

Indeed, the Chimp-Chumpz have now decided on a £60 Million Pound settlement, without any explanation as to why they were repeatedly touting the £155 Million Pound figure as FACT, less than a month ago.

Yet even that significantly reduced figure is pure bollox unless you are dumb enough to believe that McPartlin is going to have to hand over ALL of his £60 Million Pound fortune… I mean, without doubt the British Justice System is a joke presided over by the most warped minds the cuntry has to offer, but lets look at the facts:

Question 1: Do Ant McPartlin and Stretch Armstrong have any children (as in any at all)? Answer: NO.

Question 2: Has Stretch Armstrong contributed in any way to enable McPartlin to earn his £60 Million Pound fortune. Or put another way, would that £60 Million Pound be significantly less had he never met her? Answer: NO.

Question 3: Does Stretch have a disability that prevents her gerrin up off of her fat arse and earning her own money? Answer NO.

Question 4: Did Stretch give up a lucrative career in order to support her husband? Answer NO. In fact Stretch is allegedly a full time make-up artist to a whole host of knob-ed celebs.

And with that in mind, she should consider herself very, very fortunate to get 10 percent of his worth… After all, Six Million Squids is a hefty sum by any standards.

Yet in between touting that £60 Million Squid settlement, the brass faced primates are touting the pair as getting back together:

You couldn’t make it up although those cunts do on a daily basis… In fact I kid you not when I tell you that I can no longer manage the effort needed to read the Chimps news-feed from top to bottom, it really is that pathetic.

Indeed, I find the fact that the shit-rag is the nations second biggest selling paper to be utterly soul-destroying.

I mean just look at the type of verbal diarrhea that the pathetic wastes of space are coming out with:

Has Banana Dacre resorted to employing 12 year olds or has the fucking cuntry lost its marbles?

Certainly their child-like minds are oblivious to their own hypocrisy. I mean 6 months ago the half-wits were churning out farticle after farticle which did all but state as fact that McPartlin was giving Scarlett Moffett a portion and she was to blame for the breakdown of his marriage to stretch.

Yet once again, the Monkey-Boyz are pretending that those farticles never got written and instead they are now touting the talentless old slapper as being “the fans” choice to replace McPartlin:

Before changing their tiny minds two days later and deciding that Holly Willoughby was really, really the fans choice to replace McPartlin:

Yet millions of people pay money every week to read that old bollox… And any old bollox will do, especially where Scarlett Fever is concerned… She looks different now you know:

Of course the ugly cunt looks different… She is plastic… Not real… A creation:

PHOTO: Just some of the many faces of Scarlett Fever

Any cunt daft enough to shoot a load up her runs a risk of being electrocuted for fucks sake.

Yet by the same token Dacre’s Dunces totally ignore the fact that Katie Price has turned into a man:

Madness… Perhaps they were hoping that if they stayed quiet no cunt would notice.

And finally, I told you in my first article about the pair of shysters that they had been on my radar for quite a while now. However, my suspicions about Ant & Dec increased tenfold in November 2017 following the death of the actor Rodney Bewes.

You see, the first article announcing the actors death to be released by the Chimp, had Ant & Dec leading the tributes:

Now my immediate thoughts were; why on earth would Ant & Dec be the first to lead the tributes? I mean they certainly are not connected to him in any way and Bewes career was arguably in the doldrums before the pair of shysters were even born.

Course Bewes was known for playing Bob Ferris in the sit-com “The Likely Lads” in the 1960’s and then reprising the role in “Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads” which ran on TV between 1971 & 1974.

And of course Ant & Dec made a short shite TV movie in 2002 imaginatively entitled “A Tribute To The Likely Lads” with Dec taking on the role made popular by Bewes and Ant taking on the role of Terry Colier – played by James Bolam in both runs of the show.

PHOTO: Rodney Bewes & James Bolam in a scene from “Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads”

Reportedly Bewes & Bolam fell out 40 years ago and haven’t spoken since, but interestingly enough, Bolam – who now works mainly on BBC children’s programs – appears on the list of Satanic Paedophiles that I published a few years back.

Yet despite Bewes having a small cameo in the Ant & Dec film, the list of more suitable candidates than the pair to lead the tributes to the deceased actor is still seemingly endless with comedy writers, Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais immediately springing to mind – as does Bewes’ onscreen wife, Brigit Forsyth.

But then I looked at the first photo accompanying the article about Bewes demise and it all became clear:

You see, I don’t think that is Rodney Bewes and instead I strongly believe that it is Declan Donnelly done up to look like him, with my belief being reinforced by the smug, knowing look plastered on his face:

Indeed Donnelly & Bewes undoubtedly share a quite remarkable resemblance to each other, which to us mere-mortals, the chances of us looking exactly the same as someone else runs at around the odds of thirty billion to one whereas for the bloodline families, the fabulously rich and the knob-ed-celebs, those odds – as far as I can see – stretch no further than three to one.

Shall we investigate further?

Of course we fucking shall:

Hmmm. Now what you have to bear in mind is that the Monster-Minions do not do anything without a reason so straight away you can dispense with the ‘coincidence’ bollox.

Moreover, unless they have cracked the secret to time travel it is safe to say that Donnelly is not Bewes although it is also fair to say that McPartlin is not unlike Bolam in looks… Not as close as Bewes & Donnelly mind, but the facial similarity is still there:

And of course the Likely Lads – Bewes/Ferris & Bolam/Colier – are Geordies just like Ant & Dec although in reality Bewes was born in West Yorkshire.

Therefore, the way that I see it is that there are three possible reasons for Ant & Dec being first out of the traps, onto the front pages of the national newspapers, in leading the tributes to Bewes.

(A) The Minions were simply mugging us off by having Donnelly made up to look like an old geezer – namely Rodney Bewes… Oh how they would have laughed at that.

(B) Given the duo’s origins and their similarity in looks to the “Likely Lads” – in particular Donnelly’s close family type resemblance to Bewes – they could have been given the ‘honour‘ in order to form a Satanic connection… Remember, EVERYTHING has to connect to everything for their Satanic Majic to work.

(C) Donnelly is cloned from Bewes and by Ant & Dec leading the tributes the Monsters were showing us the [possible] fact – something that many researchers believe that the Monsters are obliged to do with all their skullduggery…. And if you don’t think that cloning is possible, then go and do some fucking research.

Course, the reason that Ant & Dec were selected for the job could even be two or all three of those reasons, but as for coincidence… Fuck that.

Just Sayin’.

*The Site fees are due on the 9th of this month. I am around £180 short… Just so as ya know ya know.