Match Of The Day


Christopher Spivey


I must say that it was nice to see Saturday’s big main event of the day pass without a hitch… And in front of nearly 100,000 spectators watching it live as it happened.

But that is enough about the FA Cup final.

Elsewhere, the other main event of the day also passed without a hitch, although you have to hand it to the Satanic Freaks, they really are masters of illusion… Indeed – according to the press – there was meant to have been over 100,000 in attendance at that bash too… But I find that very, very hard to believe

Mind you, Prick Henry didn’t look too happy about things. I mean did you see that frown-grim smile-frown-grim smile thing that he had going on? I actually thought that he had developed a facial tic for a moment or two.

Nevertheless, as I say, it all went off without a hitch… Literally. Indeed what the estimated 2 billion TV viewers witnessed was nothing more than a sham. I mean I am all for a bit of informality but half the fun of a wedding is hearing Dick the Vic read out the bride and groom’s full names, followed by the couple having to repeat them in turn. Yet the high wanking Dick the Vic said – and I quote – “Do you Harry take Meghan to be your awful wedded wife“. Yet his name is Henry and hers is Rachael!

And did you notice how the high wanking Dick the Vic had to pause the ceremony for the laughter to die down when he said to Henry; “will you love her, cherish her and be faithful to her forsaking all others“… What the fuck was funny about that? Unless it was some kind of posh people’s joke that we mere mortals don’t get.

Yet as I say, Big Dick the Vic had to halt the proceedings because the congregation was laughing that much… Even Henry joined in with the merriment. Although I noticed the the brown-nosing BBC commentators neglected to even mention that Elephant in the room.

Course, Harry finds amusement in all manner of things:

Then there was the American Big Dick the Vic. Laugh? I ain’t laughed so much since me Nan died. I mean c’mon, the “Most Reverend” Kid Curry had to have been added to the list as a joke!

PHOTO: The Kid Curry 

Indeed he was a cross between James Brown:

And the preacher played by Kenny Everett:

Mind you, whilst Curry kept saying “Don’t Believe Me“, the promiscuous, former drug addict, Satanist and alleged paedophile Elton John, clearly couldn’t ‘believe him’:

You may recall that Elton John owns the sick photo that I was fraudulently taken to court for after publicizing it on this website. I mean because he owns it it is called art, but when I publish a copy of the photo to highlight his sick taste in art it is called “distributing child porn“… Luckily the judge saw the huge implications involved and had the case thrown out of court.

Mind you, at least the bum bandit managed to keep his arse to himself throughout the ceremony:

First to arrive at the church was Uncle Charlie… Two an a half hours early… What the fuck was that all about?

Certainly the years haven’t been kind to him:

Mind you, he has never been the same since his former best friend, the rather fishy jewel thief, Darius Guppy beat him up on his front lawn for trying to get off with his wife whilst he was in prison:

A decade after Guppy’s release (from prison), his wife apparently told him Spencer had tried in vain to seduce her a number of times at Althorp. Guppy was understandably enraged. His ‘Homeric code of honour, loyalty and revenge’, as Johnson once described it, came to the fore. 

Furious calls between the Guppy and Spencer took place during which the Earl denied any impropriety. But when he was persuaded to visit Guppy’s home in Cape Town in May 2006, Guppy is said to have had his revenge. 

In an extraordinary tussle on the front lawn, Guppy apparently administered a savage beating. Spencer was left with a fractured cheekbone, black eyes and concussion.’ Source

PHOTO: Guppy & Spencer

You may remember that Guppy was also very good with the Right Honorable Boris Johnson… In fact they were such good friends that Bojo agreed to get Guppy the address of a journalist – who had slagged the jewel thief off in the papers – so as the upper class criminal could get someone to beat the shit out of him:

The following from Craig Murray’s website includes a transcript of that conversation:

A week ago today Boris Johnson held a meeting on how to tackle youth violence. But here is a tape from Tim Ireland of Boris Johnson engaged in a conversation with Darius Guppy about having someone beaten up. While Johnson is not the one urging the beating, he does not protest against the idea that someone be given “two black eyes and a cracked rib”, and appears more worried about possible political fallout or attachment to him.

There is a reference to someone “going through the files”.

I don’t know the context of this conversation. And it was not Boris who initiated the discussion.

It is also fair to say he sounds uncomfortable about the violence. But his failure to tell Guppy not to commit the violence is difficult to excuse.

Here is a transcript from Tim Ireland:

Guppy: Boris, have you got this number?

Johnson: [inaudible] look, there is a guy at the moment, going through…

Guppy: You’re brilliant.

Johnson: … files at home

Guppy: Fantastic. But I am telling you something, Boris. This guy has got my blood up, alright? And there is nothing which I won’t do to get my revenge. It’s as simple as that.

Johnson: How badly are you going to hurt this guy?

Guppy: Not badly at all.

Johnson: I really, I want to know …

Guppy: Look, let me explain to you…

Johnson: If this guy [see/sues?] me I will be fucking furious.

Guppy: I guarantee you he will not be seriously hurt.

Johnson: How badly will he …

Guppy, interrupting: He will not have a broken limb or broken arm, he will not be put into intensive care or anything like that. He will probably get a couple of black eyes and a … a cracked rib or something.

Johnson: Cracked rib?

Guppy: Nothing which you didn’t suffer at rugby, OK? But he’ll get scared and that’s what I want … I want him to get scared, I want him to have no idea who’s behind it, OK?

Johnson: If I get trouble, if I get…

Guppy: You will not, Boris. I swear to you. If you…

Johnson: [unaudible bluster]… I got this bloody number for you. OK, Darrie. I said I’d do it. I’ll do it. Don’t worry.

Guppy: Boris, I mean it; I really love you.

More details from this same conversation are available here, including this nugget not included in the published audio:

Guppy: But Boris there’s absolutely no ******* proof: you just deny it. I mean, there’s no proof at all.

Johnson: Well yeah…

Guppy: I mean, you know, big deal. You’re sitting in Brussels and the day it happens you’re in Brussels, it’s as simple as that.

By now you may have noticed that Boris Johnson’s primary concern is that his role in this planned assault will be discovered. Also, just in case there is any doubt about the nature of the information he promises Guppy, here is a fuller transcript of the tail end of the conversation, where he promises to deliver both the phone number and address of the man Darius Guppy plans to have beaten in a revenge attack:

Guppy: Well do it discreetly. I … if it’s in any way going to look suspicious. That’s all I require – just the address: the address and the phone number … all right? Now I guarantee you, you have nothing to worry about. [Slowly, emphatically] Believe me. All right? You have my personal guarantee. I’ve never let you down, all right?

Johnson: OK Darrie, I said I’ll do it and I’ll do it. Don’t worry.

Guppy: Boris, I really mean it, I love you and I will owe you this, all right? And I’m a man who keeps my word.

Guppy was a Bullingdon Club member along with not only Johnson, but also Osborne and Cameron. I do hope you call and listen, and do hope it comes as a wake up call to those who believe the carefully crafted “compassionate conservative” propaganda. Source

Course, far from being a one off for the spoilt prat Guppy, twenty years on from that phone call he was still fond of attacking journalists:

A convicted fraudster and old friend of the Mayor of London has boasted how he flew 6,000 miles to London to assault a journalist who insulted his wife.

Darius Guppy, 49, who has known Boris Johnson since they were students together at Eton and then Oxford, was so enraged by a newspaper article about him that he believed ‘humiliated’ his wife, Sunderland-born Patricia, he flew from his home in Cape Town to exact revenge.

Notoriously vengeful Guppy, who served time in prison for faking a jewel heist, tracked the journalist down to his home, lay in wait for him and then knocked him to the ground as he left the house before tipping a sack of horse manure over him.

In a recent BBC interview with Eddie Mair, the London mayor denied tracking down a tabloid journalist 20 years ago whom Guppy wanted beaten up over probings into him for an article.

The affair that the journalist, Stuart Collier, was looking into was the fraud that resulted – eventually – in Guppy going to jail.

Angry with insurers Lloyd’s of London after his father lost his home and money in the 1990s financial crisis, Guppy and his fellow Oxford graduate Ben Marsh hired a stooge to tie them up in their room at the Halloran House Hotel in New York and shoot a mattress.

When police arrived they convinced them they had been the subject of a jewel heist – Guppy ‘sobbing like a baby’ for effect.

Lloyd’s paid up for the ‘stolen’ jewels within weeks, but the stooge, Peter Risdon, was angry at the small sum he had been paid for his part in the fraud.  Collier started looking into the incident, and Guppy got wind of it.

Risdon recorded a conversation between Guppy and Boris Johnson in which they discussed finding the journalist and Guppy said: ‘There is nothing I won’t do to get my revenge’.

In 1993 Guppy was jailed for five years and ordered to pay a £533,000 fine.  Guppy said he had no money and declared himself bankrupt, and was ordered to stay in jail until the fine was paid.

But a mystery benefactor lent him £165,000 to get him out jail – a man many suspected was his old friend Charles Spencer.  Guppy was freed in 1996 and moved first to Ireland and then to South Africa.

Guppy still lives in South Africa with his wife, with whom he has three children, but has fallen out with his old friend Charles Spencer over unfounded suggestions the latter had tried to seduce his wife. Source

Well, I suppose that is how Guppy earned himself the nickname of the High Society Psycho.

And there was me thinking that a Guppy was a small flat fish… Which is indeed named after the Guppy family.

Ere! You don’t think Guppy will want to come and bash me do you? I really, really hope so.

Mind you, I was quite surprised that Bojo wasn’t at Harry & Meghan’s bash, although I do believe that Saturdays are when he has access to all of the illegitimate children that he had behind his wife’s back… Kinda makes a mockery of the ‘Right Honorable‘ title doesn’t it?

Neither was the Transvestite Prime Mincer, Terry May there either, which is strange since the former Prime Mincer, the Right Honorable, John Major was there with his wife Norman:

You may remember that Major sued the magazine ‘Scallywag‘ after they claimed that as Prime Mincer, he had an affair with a member of the Number 10, Downing Street catering staff… And quite rightly too since he was doing no such thing. It was actually Eggweena Currie that he was shagging, although he still took the money… Kinda makes a mockery of the ‘Right Honorable‘ title doesn’t it?

The walking dead were obviously in attendance looking as happy together as always:

Indeed the Queer’s mood was in total contrast to that she was in on her day out at the gee-gees four days previously:

Is that even the same woman?

Course, it is well known that the Queer & Duck think the world of Henry:

But then again, he is a chip off the old block:

They do enjoy a good giggle don’t they?

Still at least Harry managed to keep his clothes on throughout the ceremony… Something that he has a problem with:

And Mental Markle didn’t give anyone a blow job:

That is all a bit quick. Here let me slow it down for you:

And you really think that the Windsor family would let that join their wranks?

Mind you, with all of Phil the Duck’s passed flings, maybe Prick Henry is an old chip off the block after all, which would explain why everyone laughed in church about the staying faithful bit. I mean the Duck was even allegedly shagging his former daughter-in-laws mother, Susan Barrantes.

The following is from the Daily Mail:

After Kirkwood and Cordet, numerous other famous and beautiful women have been alleged to have been Philip’s lovers. 

They include the Countess of Westmorland, wife of the Queen’s Master of the Horse, the novelist Daphne du Maurier, wife of the Comptroller of the Royal Household, the actresses Merle Oberon and Anna Massey, the TV personality Katie Boyle, the Duchess of York’s mother, Susan Barrantes, the Duchess of Abercorn, wife of the Lord Steward of the Royal Household, the Queen’s first cousin, Princess Alexandra, and Philip’s glamorous carriage-driving companion, Lady Romsey. Of these, Daphne du Maurier was merely a casual acquaintance. Katie Boyle has rubbished suggestions of intimacy.

Anna Massey met Philip only once socially. And the Duchess of Abercorn, while admitting to ‘a highly charged chemistry’ with Philip, denied any physical relationship, adding that ‘the passion was in the ideas’. 

To a female journalist who once had the temerity to question him about the rumours of extra-marital infidelities, Philip barked: ‘Good God, woman, I don’t know what sort of company you keep. 

‘Have you ever stopped to think that for the past 40 years I have never moved anywhere without a policeman accompanying me? So how the hell could I get away with anything like that?’ Source

You will notice that there was no denial about the Duck’s affair with Fergies Mother amongst that lot.

And then there is this from the Telegraph:

Inside, Australian readers were offered a “sizzling extract” from a book “they daren’t publish in Britain”. The book’s author, Nicholas Davies, purported to reveal “a shocking world of royal adultery, passion and betrayal” and stated – as fact, not surmise – that the Duke of Edinburgh’s liaisons with his cousin, Princess Alexandra, with the film star Merle Oberon, and with the Duchess of York’s mother, Susan Barrantes (among others!) were the reason “why the Queen banned her husband from her bed”. Source

Funnily enough, Susan Barrantes was killed after being decapitated in a car crash:

She was killed instantly. In a chilling echo of Diana’s death, it is understood she was not wearing a seat belt. By a tragic coincidence the Renault driver, 60-year-old Jose Maria Rodriguez, was a close family friend. He suffered a broken ankle. 

Mrs Barrantes’ 25-year-old nephew Rafael Barrantes, who was travelling with her, miraculously survived the crash. He was in hospital last night being treated for shock, cuts and bruises. 

The force of the impact was so great the vehicles ended up 60 yards apart. Last night, police suggested one reason for the accident might be that both drivers were dazzled by headlights. The road is narrow and twisty with no white centre line. 

Mrs Barrantes’ Rover was completely crushed with the sleek car reduced to a barely recognisable lump of twisted steel and fittings. Source

And this from Wikipedia

On 19 September 1998, while leaving for the ranch where she kept ponies, the Rover 75 she was driving collided with a Renault catering truck on a two-lane highway in flat countryside. The driver of the truck suffered a broken ankle, but Barrantes was decapitated and killed, age 61.

Just sayin’.

Course, Fergie was also there after – according to the press – she had been “welcomed back into the fold”… She too managed to keep her clothes on and didn’t suck anyone’s toes:

Mind you, for some unknown reason Fergie wasn’t allowed to sit with her ex-husband and her two daughters – Beatoff & Eugenics.

PHOTO: A nipple slip for Beatoff or Eugenics, I can never remember which is which.

Fergie’s ex husband is of course the alleged paedophile, Princess Andrew, the only son of the Queer and Lord Porchester… Allegedly.

Course, any potential legal action against Princess Andrew for his nonce activities was quickly dismissed on the orders of the Queer:

Andrew, who 4th in line to the British throne, has been exposed in the news as a paedophile. His buddy, Jeffrey Epstein, is a convicted paedophile who served up underage girls to Prince Andrew like lolly pops.

Photos published in the British media show Andrew strolling in a park with Epstein — the New York billionaire jailed for soliciting child prostitutes in Florida. A photograph has also emerged showing Andrew with his arm around the waist of the child prostitute who is at the centre of that case. It has emerged that Andrew allegedly enjoyed massages at the Florida mansion where the Epstein child sexual abuse went on.

Epstein also gave Andrew $30,000 to help pay off his ex-wife Fergie’s massive debts that she was blackmailing him for. Andrew was finally forced to step down as Britain’s trade ambassador because of #1 – his criminal behaviour with underage girls. Two – a six million dollar tax evasion charge. Three – conflicts of interest from friendships with a convicted paedophile and with Libyan leader Gadafi’s son whose country was being bombed by the British military.

Still, at least Princess Andrew also managed to keep his clothes on:

Worse still, Little Bald Willie had to sit next to his ‘dad’ despite the well reported on “tension” that exists between them:

Mind you, that tension thawed a bit when Prick Buggerlugs of Bigears farted.

Better in than out… And they both managed to keep their dicks to themselves:

Little Bald Willie is reportedly the son of King Wank Carlos of Spain:

Meantime, Prick Charles, Like Princess Andrew and Phil The Duck is also alleged to be a paedophile… Which of course explains their very long, very close friendship with Jimmy Savile:

And the following is taken from  the author, Phillip Eade’s book about the Queens husband as a duckling:

Philip had met Princess Elizabeth, his second cousin once removed and heir to the throne, several times, but things stepped up a gear when he made a visit in 1939. He was 18 and Elizabeth was 13.

The future queen’s governess described how, while they were playing with a clockwork railway, Philip came into the room. “For a while they knelt side by side playing with the trains. He soon got bored with that. We had ginger crackers and lemonade in which he joined and then he said, ‘Let’s go to the tennis courts and have some real fun jumping over the nets!’

At the tennis courts I thought he showed off a little too much. Lilibet said, ‘How good he is! How high he can jump!’ He spent a lot of time teasing plump little Margaret.” Later that evening, when Philip went for dinner with the king, Elizabeth had already been sent to bed according to the nursery schedule. 

Mind you, other sources claim that Buggerlugs is gay:

Which of course does not mean that he isn’t also a paedophile. Certainly, he made a mockery of the sacred vows that he took when he ‘married’ one of the actresses that played Diana since he was also shagging Gorilla Parker Horseface and Willie & Harry’s nanny, Tiggy Legge Burk… Who was also at the wedding:

Indeed, if you believe the hype, Chaz supposedly got Tiggy pregnant, much to Diana’s disgust. The following is taken from my article ‘Monsters Inc‘:

Moreover, further details of the sordid affair were revealed at the Diana inquest in 2007. The Daily Mirror had this to say on the matter:

 “Princess Diana told her solicitor that both she and Camilla Parker Bowles were going to be “got rid of” so Prince Charles could marry Royal nanny Tiggy Legge-Bourke, her inquest heard”.

It is a known fact that a ‘Car accident’ is a recognized way of carrying out an assassination. The method of doing so is called the ‘Boston Brakes’. It is also a fact that 6 weeks before Diana was murdered, Camilla Parker Bowles was in a serious road accident while driving alone. Despite knowing that it is a very serious criminal offence to flee the scene of an accident, Camilla immediately ran into the nearby woods from where she then phoned  Prince Charles, who immediately had his security team rush and get her. She later said that she was in fear of her life – A curious thing to say.

I do intend to cover this car accident in more detail in a future article surrounding the murder of Diana.

In November 1995 the National press were tipped off that Tiggy Legge-Bourke (TLB) had become pregnant by Charles and had had an abortion. It was further reported that ‘words’ had been exchanged between Diana and Legge-Bourke on the subject at a party on the 14th of  December 1995, where Diana had supposedly said to TLB; “So sorry about the baby”.

On 18 December 1995, Legge-Bourke, with the Queen’s agreement, instructed the libel lawyer Peter Carter-Ruck to write to Diana’s solicitors demanding an apology and asking that the accusation be “recognized to be totally untrue“.

Predictably no apology or retraction was ever received, but Legge-Bourke’s lawyers never the less circulated a letter to the news media to warn against publication.

However, I would suggest that the above segment is total bollox and just another conspiracy theory put out by the monsters in order to give Diana credibility.

Mind you, Diana – or one of the actors who played her – was not opposed to getting her tits out:

But back to Batty-Boy-Buggerlugs and he certainly got excited when he came face to face with a topless school girl whilst out and about on some junket or other that we paid for:

Mind you, I have long suspected that Charlie & Savile were in league with Thomas Hamilton… The mush who supposedly shot all those kids in Dunblane.

Round of applause for the man who would be King… It’s no wonder that the Queer refuses to give up the ghost.

Sat next to Buggerlugs in the church was his wife – the fag-hag Gorilla Parker Horseface. Now I call her a fag-hag because not only is she married to Charlie-boy, although they no longer live together, but she is also a holiday companion of the notorious paedophile, Derek Laud.

The Daily Mail had this to say about Laud and Camilla Parker Horseface:

Tory Big Brother contestant Derek Laud is acquainted with the Duchess of Cornwall, it has emerged.

The 40-year-old, who became the first and only black master of foxhounds in 1999, is believed to have got to know Camilla thanks to their shared love of hunting.

The pair even holidayed together in Tuscany, Italy, last year with Sir John Mortimer’s wife Penny, it was reported to the Sun newspaper.

A Clarence House spokesman said: “They may well have come across each other.” But he added: “They certainly haven’t been on holiday.”

And here’s what the Guardian had to say on the matter:

The sight of a new collection of misfits – including a highly articulate, black, gay Tory, Derek Laud, who once worked with Margaret Thatcher and has been photographed on the arm of Camilla Parker Bowles – was enough to send ITV’s Celebrity Love Island into ratings meltdown.

Course, when it comes to finding the aforementioned photo; you have no chance… So have one of Me and Laud:

Indeed when asked what her ‘husband’ was going to do about paedophilia in this cuntry, Gorilla replied that ‘she didn’t know’:


Sat next to Gorilla was one of the actors who plays Kate Gold-Digger-Smith. She managed to keep her tits to herself, although in the past, it would seem that she learned fuck all from Diana:

There goes my knighthood!

Behind Kate was sat Princess Ann. Now while buggerlugs was carrying on his love affair with Gorilla, his Sister Princess Dobbin AKA Ann had resumed her love affair with Gorilla’s Husband, Andrew Parker Bowles.

The Daily Mail newspaper had this to say on the matter on June the 19th 2010:

“It’s been 37 years since their red-hot affair ended in tears when the young cavalry officer called a halt to their romps, announcing he was going to marry a girl called Camilla. 
Anne, shattered at the loss of her one true love, got hitched on the rebound to another cavalryman, Mark Phillips, before finding contentment of sorts with ‘harmless’ naval officer Tim Laurence.

Since then, between their four collective marriages, Anne and Andrew have often rekindled the flame.

Anne is 59 and Andrew 70 – but despite their advancing years, the talk round Royal enclosure this week focused on a report that their on-off affair was on again”.

Now, as far as I am aware, Anne and her husband ‘Dim Tim’ are still married and hadn’t announced their separation – still haven’t for that matter since Dim Tim was sat next to Ann in the church on Saturday. Therefore, a person would be entitled to ask; Is there no end to this dysfunctional family’s bed-hopping?

Apparently not. The Royal Researcher Jim Hutchinson has this to say in relation to Princess Dobbin and her Daughter Zara Phillips, who is obviously the Granddaughter to the Queen:

“Zara is the daughter of Princess Anne and Peter Cross, a detective of the Royal Protection Squad. When Princess Anne told Mummy she was pregnant Cross was moved to an ordinary police job in South London. But ‘the Royal and her Dick affair’ carried on (and on – much to the delight of MI5). The Queen’s spooks reported the couple spending steamy nights in a workers cottage on Anne’s Gatcombe Park estate, Gloucester. Mummy was not amused”.

The Daily Mail Newspaper however were slightly more restrained than Mr Hutchinson. They had this to say on the affair which – as you will see – also reveals that Dobbin’s husband at the time, Captain Mark Phillips had also got in on the royal trend of having illegitimate children:

“For some years before they parted, she [Anne] and Mark Phillips were not really happy.

As he flew around the world riding and teaching (and siring an illegitimate child in New Zealand, whose mother eventually came looking for maintenance), there was talk and innuendo about Anne and the men (Note the insinuation, ‘men’ being the plural – Spivey) close to her.

Much of it involved Detective Sergeant Peter Cross, a married officer from Mitcham, South-West London, who became her protection officer in 1979.

A year later, Anne came down to breakfast at Gatcombe Park to find grim-faced Royal Protection Squad senior officers waiting to meet her. Cross was being relieved of his duties amid suggestions that he and the Princess had become ‘too close’.

Never was the Princess’s imperious manner as useful as when rebutting such suggestions.

The formerly high-flying Cross found himself back in uniform, but moved from the glamour of royal protection to a mundane role behind a desk at Croydon police station.

Alas, that wasn’t the end of the matter because four years later, in 1984, handsome Sergeant Cross (by then retired) sold his kiss-and-tell story to the News Of The World.

They paid him £600,000 – worth about £2million in today’s money  –  in exchange for which he claimed the Princess snuggled up to him on the sofa while watching TV at Gatcombe, had intimate meetings in the library and in a lodge on the estate, the changing rooms of a swimming pool at Windsor and even a rendezvous in a three-bedroom semi in Ewell, Surrey, loaned to them for the afternoon by a fellow officer.

The Princess Royal has never acknowledged, let alone commented, on his claims”

I think it’s safe to say then that the Royal Family take the sanctity of Marriage  with a pinch of Salt. That is hardly what you would expect from the so called Head of the Church of England is it?  They cant even stand behind the defence that they got married at the local registry office. All of their weddings have cost the tax payer a great deal of money. For instance, according to the Daily Mail, Dobby and Camilla Parker Dogface’s relatively small wedding cost us £14Million alone.

And whilst Harry & Meghan’s nuptials were supposedly privately funded – as if they were – the cost to the taxpayer was still over £30 Million Squids on security alone.

Yet why was the security needed? I mean, it isn’t as if the government was going to orchestrate a terrapin attack when they had gone to so much trouble trying to persuade the public that Meghan is a real person. Mind you, if you don’t believe that it is the Monsters behind these fake ISIS attacks, just ask yourself why they don’t take place on a daily basis.

I mean, it isn’t as if there is any planning involved; Just hire a car and drive it along a crowded pavement shouting “allahu akbar”… Simples. I mean, if the press are to be believed there are hundreds of thousands of Terrapins in this country ready and willing to do that type of thing, yet these attacks are rarer than rocking horse shit.

Next to Ann was Rock-Steady-Eddie and his ‘wife’ Sophie Rees Jones.

Rock Steady Eddie is the only son of the Queer and Baron Plunket:

For her part, Sophie was one of those who played the part of Diana and I am pleased to say that she also kept her tits to herself throughout the day… Unlike on previous days:

Well done Sophie.

Meanwhile, Meghan’s ‘mother’, Gloria Ragtag MKII looked proper out of her depth… Sat all alone:

Now I call her MKII because she was the second actor to play Mental Meghan’s mum:

PHOTO: Meghan & her mum, Doria the 1st

Shall we compare Mk I & Mk 2?

Of course we fucking shall:

PHOTO: Doria compared to Doria

Close call… Not!

As for Meghan, it is a bit hard to hazard a guess as to who played her although my money would be on “her lookalike” friend, Jessica Mulroney.

Now I did in fact point out the likeness between the pair in my article exposing Markle and her family as frauds:

PHOTO: Meghan & Jessica

Or it could have been Natalie Sulliman… After all, she is proper in keeping with the Royal Freaks:

You really really couldn’t make it up… But if you want to believe the hype? Well I can’t help it if you have the brain of a plant.

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