Insanity: The best of British


The Daily Chimpanzee.



Fuck me, the aliens tuning in for the latest updates from Earth must be pissing their lower garments.

It now seems that the transvestite Homo Secretary Terry May has overtaken The London Nightmayor BoJo as favourite to become the next leader of The Cuntservatives!

To my mind, the choice is a bit like asking if you would prefer your legs cut off with a blunt Jack hard point saw or your eyes plucked out with a toothpick.

Course, the Monkey Boys at the Chimp must be like the cat that got the cream with the news that Terry Tubby is now the favourite.

After all, they spent last year bigging up the horrible cunt, with constant praise for his fashion sense which really wasn’t his at all.

You see, the Zionist, hook nosed,  Homo Secretary spent last year unashamedly mimicking  Cara Delevingne’s fashion sense, which towards the end of the year had got so blatant that it began to border on obsessional, not to mention embarrassing.

And I kid you not when I say that it really did appear to be a case of the fat old pig believing the sycophantic Chimps hype which put him on par with a slim young beauty.

Fashion conscious: Mrs May in her Vivienne Westwood suit at the Tory conference yesterday


Personally, if I had Cara Delevingne in bed with me, I would think all my birthdays had come at once, where as if I woke up to find Smelly Tel Smell next to me, they would have to lock me in a padded cell where I would spend the rest of my life hunched in the corner, constantly crying whilst mumbling incoherently to myself.

However, to be Frank – cos its a good manly name with which to be serious – the fact that Tel the Twat turned up at the Cuntservative Party Conference, looking absolutely horrific in a suit costing twelve hundred Pounds, with jewel encrusted shoes on his trotters – costing over £200 quid a pair – is arrogance that goes way beyond human nature when people are starving in this cuntry as a direct result of his governments policy’s.

Some would even describe it as cruel… It was certainly totally unforgivable.

And as for BoJo, perceived by your Joe Average as being a lovable buffoon, when in reality, he is anything but?  Well, he has had a fairly low key year for one reason or another.

Never the less, the way that he is perceived by the public worry’s me greatly.

The Sniffenpissin Monster does in fact have the morals of a Hancock – a new byword for a perverted sickfuck.

Moreover, the equally hook nosed Zionist is frighteningly intelligent and an all round dangerous cunt.

To perceive him as anything other would be insanity… Which does in fairness perfectly sum up the collective mindset of the British population in general.

Personally, I only need think back to May 22nd 2013 and the smug, self satisfied look of victory on the pair of ugly cunts faces, as they hoodwinked the nation into believing that a soldier had been hacked to death in Woolwich to know that electing either to power would be all but the final nail in our coffins… Just tellin’.




Theresa May overtakes Boris Johnson in the race to replace Cameron as Tory leader

  • Survey by ConservativeHome shows Home Secretary has beaten London Mayor for the first time – with 22.7% support ahead of his 22.6%
  • Follows series of tough interventions on immigration
  • Michael Gove trailed with 17% ahead of David Davis with 11%
  • Just 7% would back Chancellor George Osborne to lead the country


PUBLISHED: 00:53, 4 January 2014 | UPDATED: 02:46, 4 January 2014


Theresa May has replaced Boris Johnson as favourite to become the next Tory leader, according to a poll of party members.

The survey by influential grassroots website ConservativeHome reveals the Home Secretary has beaten the London Mayor into pole position for the first time, after a series of tough interventions on immigration.

Of the 800 Tory members polled last month, 22.7 per cent said Mrs May should be the party’s next leader, just ahead of Mr Johnson on 22.6 per cent.

Top of the polls: Theresa May
Pipped to the post: Boris Johnson

After a series of interventions on immigration, Theresa May (left) has beaten the London Mayor for the first time


Other contenders include the Education Secretary Michael Gove, who has repeatedly ruled himself out, on 17 per cent and former leadership contender David Davis on 11 per cent.

Despite the economic recovery, just 7 per cent of Tories believe Chancellor George Osborne should succeed David Cameron.


But the most startling finding in the poll, one of a regular series by the website, is the growing support for Mrs May whose proportion of the vote has never previously risen above the mid-teens.

Paul Goodman, a former Tory MP who edits ConservativeHome, said the results were ‘rather surprising’, given the Government’s problems over immigration.

He added: ‘The best explanation is that May’s reputation as an effective, focused and no-nonsense minister continues to grow among party members.’

The Prime Minister's satisfaction rating remains at 21 per centThe Prime Minister’s satisfaction rating remains at 21 per cent


Mrs May is regarded as having had a good year, culminating in the deportation of hate preacher Abu Qatada in July last year.

She has also flaunted her Right-wing credentials with a number of toughly worded interventions on immigration and human rights.

The Home Secretary has refused to rule out standing for leadership in the future, while stressing that she remains loyal to the Prime Minister.

The emergence of Mrs May as a serious challenger is a significant setback for Mr Johnson, who has spent years courting party activists.

It follows controversy in November when he suggested that attempts to tackle inequality were ‘futile’ because some people were simply not bright enough to ever get ahead in life.

Delivering the annual Margaret Thatcher lecture in London, Mr Johnson also hailed the ‘spirit of envy’ – comments which drew widespread criticism.

The survey of party members also revealed that Mr Gove and the Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith remain the most popular Cabinet ministers, with net satisfaction ratings of 83 per cent and 76 per cent.

Satisfaction with Mr Osborne rose dramatically last year as the economy recovered – up to 58 compared to a rating of minus one 12 months ago.

But the Prime Minister’s  satisfaction rating remains at just 21 per cent.

Mr Goodman said: ‘While Cameron takes the flak for what members see as the leadership’s errors – Romanian and Bulgarian entry, onshore wind farms, same-sex marriage, the growth of UKIP, compromises with the Liberal Democrats – Osborne takes the credit for the recovering economy.’

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