Grenfell

Christopher Spivey.

 

I see that the Grenfell Tower fire bollox is well and truly back in the news.

Worse still, those with mushy-peas for brains are outraged, which pretty much means the entire population of the cuntry… Although I am glad to say that most of my discerning readers immediately saw through the old bollox when it happened a year ago.

Nevertheless, with a whole year almost passing, the Monster Minnion’s can now safely change the story on account of the Forget-A-Lots, obviously will have done.

Here is what the Chimp had to say yesterday (4/6/18):

A Grenfell Tower resident urged firefighters to hurry in an anguished 999 call he made to emergency services shortly after the blaze began in his kitchen. 

Seventy-two people were killed after the fire tore through the housing block in Kensington, west London, on June 14 last year.

Behailu Kebede, one of three people living in flat 16, where the fire started, told an emergency service call handler: ‘Quick, quick, quick. It’s burning.’

Yet a year ago Behailu Kebab was living alone in the flat! Moreover, he woke his neighbour up at 12:50 AM – she was very specific about that – in which time Mr Kebab had packed a suitcase full of belongings.

The following was taken from the Chimp a year ago:

The fate of the 600 residents of Grenfell Tower was sealed shortly before 12.50am, when the fridge in Flat 16 on the fourth floor apparently exploded into flames.

Neighbour Maryam Adam, 41, who is pregnant, said: ‘He [her neighbour] knocked on the door, and he said there was a fire in his flat. It was exactly 12.50am because I was sleeping and it woke me up.

‘When we got up, I saw outside his flat his luggage – there was a big bag with his clothes.

‘That means he took the stuff from his flat, and then he told the neighbours.

‘The fire was small in the kitchen. I could see it because the flat door was open. There was no alarm.’

So are we supposed to believe that Mr Kebab then went back into his flat 4 minutes later and rang the fire brigade since the first emergency call was made at 12:54 AM?

Well yes, apparently we are because the new article then continues:

Mr Kebede, whose call was played to the inquiry today, referred to his fridge in his first call to emergency services, telling the call handler: ‘Fire in flat 16, Grenfell Tower… the fridge, flat 16, Grenfell Tower’.

I like the way that they now make him sound like he is panicking to fuck.

His 999 call was heard as one of a series of expert reports into the disaster released today shows images of his flat 16, on the fourth floor of the 25-storey building, where the fire started around a fridge freezer.

Now funnily enough, the flat was only 24 stories high last year… The Chimp was most definite about that fact:

But, soon after, the 24-storey building was consumed by flames in one of Britain’s biggest ever tower block fires that left at least 79 people dead.

Mind you, the Monkey Boyz were very befuddled in their reporting and the tower could in fact have been anything from 21 floors to 27 floors. (See photo below taken from a Chimp report last year:

And then there is this next one:

However, to be fair the thick cunts at the Chimp cannot count above five without running into difficulties.

Moving on swiftly and the new article continues:

The report stopped short of saying a fault with the device was the cause of the blaze, stating only that the ‘origin of the fire was in, or around, the tall fridge freezer’. 

Well then that is a proper fucking waste of time since Mr Kebab was adamant that the fire started in his fridge freezer:

In a witness statement, Mr Kebede said he was woken by a fire alarm around 12:55am. He went into the kitchen and saw smoke around the fridge-freezer and woke other residents of his flat and surrounding homes before fleeing the building.

So, a year ago we had Mr Kebab already packed and ready to leave at 12:50 AM, but a year on he was awakened by an alarm at 12:55 AM – One minute after he had phoned the fire brigade in his sleep… Roger that.

The Chimp then shows us the following three photos:

And of those three photos we can deduce that the kitchen is a very funny fucking shape:

I am not sure why the sink top is lifted up like that or why it isn’t located under the window like just about every sink unit in the cuntry!

The cooker has not been in a serious fire despite having the knobs removed. Indeed you see far more damage to white goods caused by smoke alone… Fact.

We are then treated to two photos of Mr Kebab:

Again, this is very strange because a year ago eye witless Samira Lamrini described Me Kebab thus:

“Samira Lamrini said: ‘The man whose flat it was came out and said it was his flat. He was a slim, tall, white British man.

‘He was pointing at the fire on a lower floor and said, ‘That’s my flat, that’s it’. He said it was his fridge that had exploded.

And given that the Englishman describes the fire as starting in ‘his fridge freezer’ it is safe to assume that Lamrini was talking to Mr Kebab himself… Which is probably why the fraud cunts are now touting that there were three occupants living in flat 16.

Nevertheless, the farticle continues:

The recording was played after the publication of a damning report found the cladding put on the outside of the building did not comply ‘with recommended fire performance’ and criticised the ‘stay-put’ policy which encouraged residents to remain in their flats in the event of the fire.

Now who in the name of fuck would know about the “stay put” policy?

WIFE (screaming): “There’s fire everywhere, what shall we do”?

HUSBAND (calm as ya like): “Hang on [transexual] woman, i’m just looking for the tenants handbook”…

Ten minutes later:

WIFE (Engulfed in flames): Well?

HUSBAND (still calm as ya like): “It says here that in the event of fire we should stay put… Go put the kettle on love, I’m spitting feathers”.

Total, total bollox… Yet the bullshit continues:

Fire-safety engineer Barbara Lane said the fire service’s policy had ‘effectively failed’ barely a half-hour after the fire started, but residents weren’t told to evacuate for more than an hour after that.

An hour and a half after the fire started takes us to 2:20 AM by which time the fire was out of control… So how were the 600 tenants – mostly fast asleep – told to evacuate… A polite knock on the door by a fireman perhaps?

The cladding meant the fire spread up seven storeys within seven minutes, with 70 flats ablaze in under two hours. The disaster was compounded by non-compliant fire doors, combustible window fittings and a faulty firefighting lift. 

Ms Lane said that a renovation of the building completed in 2016 installed flammable cladding on the tower’s facade which led to ‘multiple catastrophic fire-spread routes’.

I will deal with all that later:

‘The assembly failed adequately to resist the spread of fire’ to an extent that would have support a ‘stay put’ policy, she said.

Ms Lane said there had been ‘a culture of non-compliance’ with safety regulations, and identified multiple failures.

The ‘stay put’ guidance which was given to residents before the fire was eventually abandoned at 2.47am – around two hours after the fire started.

So now the daft-apes are telling us that the “stay-put” policy was issued to residents by the emergency services… Are they for fucking real?

Ms Lane’s report said it is unclear why there was such a gap between the advice being rendered redundant and the fire service changing tack, the report said.

‘I am particularly concerned by the delay from 2.06am, when a major incident was declared, to 2.47am,’ Dr Lane continued.

How indecipherable and contradictory is that. Indeed I would strongly suggest that Mizzzz Lane is purposely muddying the waters in order to confuse the reader.

Remember, a couple of paragraphs up the Monkey kuntz wrote; “but residents weren’t told to evacuate for more than an hour after that.” which as I say, brought the time to AT LEAST 2:20 AM.

We were then treated to more [very telling] photos:

Now this one shows the kitchen at flat number 16 after it had been “cleared” of debris. However, note the PLASTIC kitchen sink waste pipes.

PHOTO: An enlarged cropped photo of the one above

I mean, doesn’t plastic melt at relatively low heat?

However, quite unsurprisingly, the [un-melted] sink waste doesn’t line up when you overlay the photo over the top of the first photo of the devastation that we first saw:

Moreover, the kitchen is that large that it has two fucking windows in it! … A two bed-roomed flat.

And the designers didn’t think to put the sink underneath either of them!… Fuck off witcha.

As for the second photo:

Well the fridge freezer appears to have had a strip of skirting around 2 ft long behind it.

Yet if you look at this next photo it would appear that the priority was removing the lino before anything else.

Stanley knives at the ready boys“… Very fucking strange!

And then the next photo was this one, which I have taken a screenshot of so as I could keep the Chimp’s description rather than just use the photo:

Got that? The kitchen opens up to the living room via sliding doors… And note that there is once again mention of the [now] three occupants living in the two bed flat.

The next photo used in the farticle was the following:

Now quite why the kitchen was strewn with wreckage is anyone’s guess, but once again, the sliding partition doors between the living room and the kitchen are once again mentioned… I am going somewhere with this by the way.

We are then treated to this next doozey:

Yes, it’s the not too badly damaged living room again, although when you look at the two living room photos side by side it is predictably hard to tell where the sliding doors to the kitchen are and where the door to the living room itself is.

Although obviously the cunts don’t want you to think too hard.

Nevertheless, this is a two bedroomed flat and as such, the front door would open up to a hallway. I mean you are not going to have the kitchen, bathroom/toilet and two bedrooms leading off from the living room are you?

Moreover, I should also point out before I go any further that the photo caption states that Mr Kebab was living in the lounge whilst the two bedrooms were lived in by two birds which means that earlier report by eyewitless, Samira Lamrini talking to Mr Kebab when he was a white English fella must have been accurate:

“Samira Lamrini said: ‘The man whose flat it was came out and said it was his flat. He was a slim, tall, white British man.

‘He was pointing at the fire on a lower floor and said, ‘That’s my flat, that’s it’. He said it was his fridge that had exploded.

But hey-fucking-ho, back to the flat layout and a year ago, the two bedroom apartments didn’t appear to have the kitchen leading onto the lounge although they did have hallways to nowhere:

Mind you, as you would expect from a government fraud, the details are fairly evasive.

Nevertheless, that takes me to the next two photos in the new article which are as follows:

And perhaps someone could tell me how that ties in with the layouts that we have seen and the kitchen adjoining the lounge via sliding door?  It does however tie in with Mr Kebab’s neighbour stating a year ago that she could see the fire in his kitchen through his open front door.

Just sayin’.

The photos then carried on… And these are totally unbelievable:

I mean, firstly we are expected to believe that the timing on the fireman’s camera is wrong… Which it would have to be since since – according to the photo – the time is 12:17 AM and the first call to the fire brigade wasn’t received until 12:54 AM. it then took the first fire engine 6 minutes to get there making the time 1 AM exactly.

Mind you, we are then supposed to believe that it took the amateur cunts a further 14 minutes to get to flat 16 on the fourth floor despite that location information obviously being relayed in the phone call at 12:54 AM!

Yet fuck knows where they get that heat statistic of 58 C (136.4 F) from since it was originally a small fire – according to last years reports – which the Fire brigade had under control in what must have been a matter of minutes:

Firefighters had put out the initial fridge fire at Grenfell Tower and were leaving the building when the blaze suddenly flared up, it has emerged.

Crews believed they had put out the fire at the London high-rise and were astonished to see flames rising up the side of the building, new reports have claimed.

Shortly after dealing with the fridge fire early last Wednesday, firefighters were telling residents that it was out, BBC Panorama reported.

And those bullshit photos were followed up by this one:

A different time and date format altogether with the heat total in a different place. Nevertheless, disregarding the time on the small photos, this one was supposedly taken ten minutes later and the temperature has soared to a whopping 264 Fahrenheit… Yet people really do believe this shit!

The bullshite then continues:

A separate report on how the fire stared states that Mr Kebede, referred to the fridge in his first call to emergency services. He told the call handler: ‘Fire in flat 16, Grenfell Tower… the fridge, flat 16, Grenfell Tower.’

The report also contains statements from the first and second pairs of firefighters to enter the property.

One of the first pair, Daniel Brown, said he saw an ‘isolated curtain of flame from about two to three feet into the air to the ceiling’. 

One of the second pair of firefighters, John O’Hanlon, said: ‘The fridge was on the right, quite close to the window. You wouldn’t recognise it as a fridge, just a charred rectangle with a bit of melted stuff at the bottom that was still alight.

‘The window had gone by then, broken. That’s when we noticed the window had completely gone. Even the frame wasn’t there and we noticed that it was on fire, that the window surround was on fire.

‘We walked over to the window and started spraying the window frame. It didn’t have any effect on it, at which point I sat of the window sill and was leaning out trying to hit what I thought was the window surround.’

So, the window frame was completely gone, yet they walked round to the window and started spraying the window frame… Which wasn’t there. Nevertheless, spraying the window frame that wasn’t there had no effect on the fire so the fireman sat on it!

Roger that.

We are then treated to photos of the flat layout… Thus proving that I am writing this article as I read the Chimp shite:

Now first off we see where the totally pointless sliding doors are. I mean they take up valuable cupboard and counter top space. Yet the photos above show the kitchen from outside the front door and Mr Kebabs neighbour also stated that she could see the fire in the kitchen from outside the front door without her going into the flat.

Ho hum.

The farticle then continues:

The plan show the flat. The fire started in the south-east corner, the bottom right of the image.

Which is totally confusing because the flat is located on the north east corner of the tower and it is a bit pointless dividing the flat up into North, South, East and West:

The shite then takes a turn for the worse… thus proving that the impossible really is possible:

But University of Dundee Professor Niamh Daeid wrote: ‘On the basis of the available evidence, it is more likely than not that the area of origin of the fire was in, or around, the tall fridge freezer in the southeast part of the kitchen.

HUH! is Dundee Professor Niamh Daeid illiterate? Or does that honour go to the copy writers who make this shit up?

‘The cause of the fire remains undetermined although, based on the available information, it is more likely than not to be an accidental cause rather than a deliberate act.

It is more likely than not to be total bollox if you ask me:

‘The originating fire within flat 16 extended out of the kitchen window of the flat and at some point re-entered through the window of the bedroom next to the living room of flat 16 causing further damage to the flat.’ 

So what the academic is saying is what I have drawn in the photo below:

Must be true then… Muppets!

In a departure from information given by the Met Police, another expert said there was ‘insufficient evidence’ that the fire was started by the fridge-freezer.

Despite all of the evidence pointing to the fire starting in the fridge freezer making it absolutely pointless for the Monkey Kuntz to even include the comment cept to add to the confusion and further muddy the waters.

In another separate report, Professor Luke Bisby, from the University of Edinburgh, wrote: ‘Some evidence exists to support a hypothesis that the fire started in the south-east side of the kitchen and in the general area of the Hotpoint FF175P fridge-freezer, however, there is currently insufficient evidence, even based on a balance of probabilities, in my opinion, to support the hypothesis that the fire originated in the fridge-freezer, and to exclude all other potential sources of ignition.

I think that I will fuck off home to be honest:

‘With regard to other possible sources of ignition, I have not seen sufficiently convincing evidence to confidently identify the origin of the initial fire.’ Source

Or put another way the professor is saying that: “I am talking total bollox to make it appear that I am a clever cunt as opposed to just a cunt”.

I will now leave you with what I wrote about the fraud a year ago which is as relevant today as it was back then. And don’t forget to donate to the site fees. They are due in 4 days and I certainly haven’t got the money to pay them.

The following was written by me on the 22nd of June 2017:

As for the Grenfell Tower Block fire? Well I am glad to see that most of you who comment aren’t buying it.

And while I have not had time to look too closely into the towering inferno, the idea that a concrete structure could ignite like we see in the press photos takes being mugged off to a whole new level.

I mean even if the cladding was combustible it would just melt and drop off. It certainly would not penetrate the original concrete facade – setting just about every single flat alight in the process.

Yet we are suppose to believe that the fire started in some mush’s kitchen after his fridge caught fire, which in turn set the exterior cladding alight, causing an inferno – the likes of which have never been seen before on a concrete structure… Fuck off witcha! I’m not buying that old bollox for one second.

Indeed the story is littered with contradictions and the inevitable “hero” stories.

For instance the Chimp released it’s first story on the arson attack just 20 minutes after the fire brigade had been called:

The fate of the 600 residents of Grenfell Tower was sealed shortly before 12.50am, when the fridge in Flat 16 on the fourth floor apparently exploded into flames.

Neighbour Maryam Adam, 41, who is pregnant, said: ‘He [her neighbour] knocked on the door, and he said there was a fire in his flat. It was exactly 12.50am because I was sleeping and it woke me up.

‘When we got up, I saw outside his flat his luggage – there was a big bag with his clothes.

‘That means he took the stuff from his flat, and then he told the neighbours.

‘The fire was small in the kitchen. I could see it because the flat door was open. There was no alarm.’

At 12.54am, the fire brigade was called, and the first engines arrived within six minutes. But witnesses said that the speed at which the fire tore up the tower was incredible – like ‘a tissue being set alight’.

Samira Lamrini said: ‘The man whose flat it was came out and said it was his flat. He was a slim, tall, white British man.

‘He was pointing at the fire on a lower floor and said, ‘That’s my flat, that’s it’. He said it was his fridge that had exploded.

‘He started filming it on his phone. He was upset but I don’t think he had a clue about the scale of what was happening.

‘After that the fire went up in minutes, it was so fast. The speed with which it took hold was terrifying. It was like a tissue being set alight. It just went whoosh, so quickly. I didn’t see him after that.’.

Now how the fuck could they possibly know all that detail, even with the update at 10:34 am, especially since the fire wasn’t brought under control until midday on the 15th of June?

Nevertheless, the Chimp story is very specific in its detail. For instance we are told that the fire started in Flat 16 and  Flat 16’s neighbour, Maryam Adam said: ‘He [her neighbour] knocked on the door, and he said there was a fire in his flat. It was exactly 12.50am because I was sleeping and it woke me up”.

She also says that she saw the fire in the kitchen and it was “small“, so fuck knows why the fella had packed his bags to leave instead of phoning the fire brigade first or even attempting to put the fire out himself.

Strangely enough, the newspaper didn’t bother to get the flat owners name off Maryam.

We then hear from a mush called Samira Lamrini:

“Samira Lamrini said: ‘The man whose flat it was came out and said it was his flat. He was a slim, tall, white British man.

‘He was pointing at the fire on a lower floor and said, ‘That’s my flat, that’s it’. He said it was his fridge that had exploded.

‘He started filming it on his phone. He was upset but I don’t think he had a clue about the scale of what was happening”.

All a bit coincidental if you ask me… But nevertheless Samira is very specific that the fella was slim, tall and white British“. And although Samira obviously doesn’t know him from Adam, the fact that the Englishman told her that the fire started in his fridge means that he must –in all likelihood – have been the fella occupying flat 16.

Yet by the 16th of June 2017 that tall, slim white British man had morphed into an dark skinned Ethiopean:

The Ethopian taxi driver whose faulty fridge is alleged to have caused the Grenfell inferno said he will be forever haunted by what happened.

Behailu Kebede, a father of one, raised the alarm after flames took hold in his flat at number 16 on the fourth floor.

Seventeen people have been confirmed killed in the blaze that ripped through the 24-storey block in White City, west London, on Wednesday morning. But it is feared the death toll could soar into the hundreds, with many still missing. 

A friend who spoke to Mr Kebede shortly after the tragic ordeal said the experience was ‘tearing him apart’ and that he was ‘blaming himself even though there was nothing he could do.’ Source

PHOTO: White British apparently

However, the Telegraph stuck with the fridge fire bollox and on the 20th June 2017 reported the following:

Firefighters had put out the initial fridge fire at Grenfell Tower and were leaving the building when the blaze suddenly flared up, it has emerged.

Crews believed they had put out the fire at the London high-rise and were astonished to see flames rising up the side of the building, new reports have claimed.

Shortly after dealing with the fridge fire early last Wednesday, firefighters were telling residents that it was out, BBC Panorama reported.

But, soon after, the 24-storey building was consumed by flames in one of Britain’s biggest ever tower block fires that left at least 79 people dead.

Panorama on Monday night reported that firefighters had seen flames “shooting up” the side of the building. Those reports will add weight to claims that it was the cladding on the exterior of Grenfell Tower that caused the fire to spread so rapidly. Source

Now if the firemen said the fire was out then it was out and they would have known that it hadn’t spread to the outside building. Therefore the fact that it had made no sense at all.

Although to be fair, the firemen touted in the press do not look like firemen to me.

Indeed they are the cleanest, most relaxed firemen known to man.

Yet despite the photo being taken directly below the tower block the grass looks pristine and the pathways are clean as you like whereas with all the water used and hundreds of emergency workers running around left right and center, the place should look like a quagmire.

Photo: The garden looks a lot nicer than mine and I get grubbier walking the boy to school than they get fighting a towering inferno.

Mind you, I don’t think that they used water to tackle the blaze.

They did in fact use light sabers.

Not that they looked like any firemen that I have ever seen or come into contact with.

“You alright Dave”?

“No”.

PHOTO: Two very clean firemen hug in a manly way as they are overcome with grief.

PHOTO: Cleanliness is next to godliness… No need to cry son. 

So how did the fire become so fierce? The only answer that I can come up with is that the place must have been primed with an fire-accelerant.

I mean the old bollox being touted about it being the aluminium cladding being responsible is breathtaking.

Indeed it would also seem that the press are trying to pin the blame for the fire on the cladding company who did the work.

Further questions were raised yesterday Rydon Construction, the company contracted to carry out £10million refurbishment which was completed in March last year, appeared to change their statement about the tragedy.Rydon released a statement saying it met all “fire regulation and health and safety standards” during the refurbishment in 2016.

However a later statement omitted this line ans simply said the company had “met all required building regulations”.The company paid £3million to install the cladding, Harley Curtain Wall Ltd, has since gone bust after one of their customers refused to pay them almost £500,000 for disputed work. 

The director of the company, Ray Bailey, who has since started a new firm Harley Facades Limited, said that they had used a common Aluminium Composite Material (ACM) panels which are a commonly used product in the refurbishment industry. 

Yet the cladding company do not choose which product to use… And like I said earlier, the cladding would melt not catch fire:

Aluminium and its alloys are the most commonly used non-ferrous metal materials and they find wide application in transport, building, packaging, general and electrical engineering. The excellent physical and mechanical properties of aluminium alloys lead to their widespread use. The alloys are light but strong and their use in transport saves fuel over the whole of the vehicle lifetime.

The alloys can be fabricated or cast by all conventional
processes, joined by welding or adhesive bonding and given a variety of surface coatings. These coatings, together with the inherent high degree
of resistance to corrosion by the alloys, allow the use of aluminium components in aggressive environments.

Finally, after use even over many years, the aluminium can be recycled, with a saving of energy of 95% of that required through the primary smelter production route. Because of the widespread use of aluminium alloys in building, transport, home appliances and offshore structures, it is necessary to address the issue of aluminium and fire and to answer the question, ‘does aluminium burn?’.

The answer is, of course, “No”. Each year hundreds of thousands of tonnes of aluminium scrap are fed into remelt furnaces and heated up to and beyond the melting point. The aluminium melts when the temperature exceeds the melting point, it does not burn. If it did, the recycling of aluminium would not be possible. Source

Therefore it could only have been the very thin plastic-like coating cover the aluminum sheets that caught fire albeit once again, that should have melted.

So how did the fire travel so fast when it had nothing to take hold of?

No seriously… What is that fire streak which travels in nice straight diagonal lines?

Had to be an accelerant didn’t it.

Yet how did they attach the accelerant? I mean residents would have noticed the kind of activity needed to make the place a fire death trap.

Course, it could have been added to the building when the cladding was done… These engineered disasters are planned years ahead don’t forget and the cladding was only completed a year ago.

Yet if that was the case then the cladding firm/fitters would have had to have been in on plot… Which when you consider that the blame is being laid at the cladding firms door – despite it not being them who choose the product – and giving mind to the following, it isn’t too far fetched to believe that they were the culprits:

The company paid £3million to install the cladding, Harley Curtain Wall Ltd, has since gone bust after one of their customers refused to pay them almost £500,000 for disputed work. 

See? Making the firm out to be a bunch of dodgy traders yet a company capable of winning £3 million pound contracts does not go bust for disputed work worth £500,000.

Nevertheless, having an accelerant behind the cladding would still only burn the outside of the building. Therefore photos of the interior had to be photoshopped or the places were empty… Although I tend to go with a bit of both.

I love that last photo, just casually strolling around taking pictures whilst all around isolated fires still burned intensely.

And of course if the information found at the following link HERE is genuine then an application to have the place demolished was put in back in 2014 which would mean the tenants were being rehoused, despite the claim that the block had 600 residents… That is 600 residents to 120 flats… Five people to each flat?

Certainly there would not be severely disabled people living on the upper floors so the stories of heroism in regard to people carrying the disabled down from the upper floors are bollox

Nevertheless, according to the Chimp there are an average 6 flats per floor made up of four 2 beds and two 1 beds.

Therefore there is some serious overcrowding going on in that tower block with the council having a statutory duty to rehouse those living in an overcrowded home.

Course, the shit-rag has really muddied the waters with that photo.

I mean the photo info describes the tower block as “The 27-storey Grenfell building“.

However, the actual drawing of the building shows the top floor being the 21st with the 1st floor actually being the 3rd floor making it a 24 storey tower.

Course, 21 floors of flats with 6 flats per floor totals 126 flats.

However, the day before the Chimp AKA the British Governments Propaganda Wing claimed that there were 120 flats spread over 24 floors

Course, 120 flats over 24 floors makes 5 flats to a floor and the drawing shows the flat that the fire started in as being on the 4th floor with the big windows which is what I pointed out earlier.

However, the drawing does not show the ground floor and instead starts with the 1st floor which would mean that it is only a 23 storey tower block, thus the Chimp has now described the tower as being 27 storeys, 24 storeys and 23 storeys.

Nevertheless, with the 4th floor in the drawing above being the 1st floor in the drawing above that, i.e the 1st floor of flats, you have to wonder how the flat being dipicted as the fire-starter can be flat number 16.

You see, the floor where flat number 16 is being shown should in fact house flats 1-6. Meantime flats on the 2nd floor which is the 5th floor would be flats 7-13. In turn, the 3rd floor more commonly known as the 6th floor would house flat numbers  14 – 20 and the 4th floor aka the 7th floor would have flat numbers 21-27.

And of course that would mean that you would find flat number 16 on either the 3rd or 6th floor but definitely not the 4th or 7th floor… Understand?

Of course you fucking do.

Course, to make matters even more confusing count the floors in the before and after photos below.

And all that of course gives the story tellers (or should that be Storey Tellers) an awful lot of room for maneuver.

Moreover, it has just been announced by the Chimp that Kensington Council have now solved the problem of where to house their burnt out tenants:

Around 250 homeless and beleaguered survivors of the devastating Grenfell Tower fire will be rehoused permanently inside a £2billion luxury Kensington development, it was revealed today.

Now straight away why do they refer to individuals rather than the number of families? That makes no sense whatsoever unless they are 250 single people which would mean that the council has acquired 250 flats… But it hasn’t:

The 68 one, two and three bedroom properties have been bought for just £10million and will provide refuge for families who lost everything in the blaze that killed 79 people a week ago.

Just over three and a half people per flat then. Course we are talking posh London here so how the fuck did the council acquire 68 flats for a bargain £10 Million:

Apartments in the Kensington Row development are currently on the market for between £1.5million and £8.5 million.

But developer St Edward has sold the 68 flats at ‘cost’ price even though they have a market value of around £160million.

Fuck me, he must be Santa Clause although I fail to see how £160 Million project can have only involved a £10 Million outlay

The 250 Grenfell residents – around half of its population – are currently in hotels or in extreme cases believed to be sleeping rough in parks or in their cars.

Well that is another 100 lopped off the original 600 residents before you even start taking into consideration the dead and dying.

But even so, why would any of them be sleeping rough or in their cars when the council has to provide them with temporary accommodation by law? Even if that means putting them in temporary accommodation in another borough.

But from the end of July they will living in the development on Kensington High Street lauded as ‘one of London’s most sought after new addresses’.

The apartments have large rooms and balconies offering panoramic views of London and residents also have access to a swimming pool, sauna, cinema and gym.

Fuck off witcha!

The deal is said to have been financed by the City of London Corporation who immediately handed the flats to Kensington and Chelsea Borough Council, who have been so heavily criticised since Britain’s worst fire for a generation. 

The 68 flats for the Grenfell survivors was announced just before Theresa May apologised for the failures by local and national government in responding to the fire. Source

And since there are clearly more than 68 flats in the development I bet Mr Posh Knob is chuffed to fuck having shelled out £8 Million Squids for his new family home only to find himself living next door to a Somalian crack den.

Having said that, according to the Chimp the people seen in the photo below are now homeless, Grenfell residents.

The smoking tower block in the background is especially poignant although the arrowed bird is going to fit right in with her new neighbours.

And it would appear that Dirty Gertie from Number 30 is already doing a bit of hobnobbing with the toffs and has persuaded Emily Clarkson, daughter of posh-knob Jeremy to carry her clobber for her.

And with other Grenfell residents being badly photoshopped Michael Obama doppelgangers I don’t suppose That Mr Posh Knob need worry too much.

Mind you, the photos of Prime Mincer, Terence May’s visit to the tower were also photoshopped.

Meantime the spin-off stories surrounding the tower block fire go from the sublime to the ridiculous.

And I am talking about totally bollox stories such as the mother who threw her baby out of the 9th floor window… Although the 9th floor could have been as low as the 6th floor or as high as the 12th:

Mrs Lamrini said: ‘A woman shouted down frantically for someone to help her baby. A man came with a blanket and waited down below. Amazingly he caught the baby, which looked OK. The child was about 11 months old.

Because you would throw a baby out of your window into the pitch black rather than carry it down 9 staircases

After all, there isn’t much damage below the 9th floor, but then again the central core staircase was impassible wasn’t it. In fact it was described as being “Pitch black, unbearably hot, smoke filled and cluttered“… Really?

Indeed if that is the case then the landlords will be going to prison for a long time. I mean lets take the “cluttered” part for starters. Now I live in a 3 storey block of flats but try leaving something outside your front door and see how long it takes before you get a letter through your letter-box telling you to move it.

As for pitch black? Well all internal communal stairways in council blocks must by law have emergency lighting in case of fire. And sure enough, in the 3 or 4 power cuts that we have had while I have been living here, the communal stair lights have remained on.

And finally, how many fire doors do you reckon that there were between the central stairwell and the fire? Yet Mummy of the year opened her window and shouted “catch“.

Mind you, that story is tame compared to the one about the “jumpers” using bin bags as parachutes.

Others tied bed sheets together to try to form ropes while some attempted to make parachutes out of bin liners.

Residents had been advised to stay in their flats and await rescue. But for those who did, the ferocity of the blaze meant they almost certainly perished.  Source

Now then! Who advised the residents to stay in their flats? Did they send a couple of coppers up first to knock on peoples doors and tell them to stay inside?

Course, to add to the drama the smoke was poisonous… Least it is now:

The insulation used on Grenfell Tower‘s cladding came with a warning it would give off toxic fumes if burned, it has emerged.

It is feared cladding fixed to the outside of the 24-storey tower block before the blaze may have allowed the fire to spread quickly, trapping and killing at least 79 residents.

Developers have been accused of using a cheaper, more flammable cladding on the outside the building to save money.

But it has also emerged that the insulation used beneath the cladding, called Celotex RS5000, also came with fire safety warning. Source

Fuck me! you would have to be gullible to believe that

And to be fair there are an awful lot of ‘gullible’ people about… It kinda makes you wonder why the word isn’t in the English dictionary.

Just sayin’.