Fuck Crime, there are Dummy’s to be dealt with.


Stories sent to me by Paul McKenna


Its refreshing to see that despite the Police having their hands full Whitewashing Operation Lookbusy, they can still find time to investigate Mannequins.

Meanwhile, when it comes down to theft and real crime, even when they have the detective work done for them, you’re fucked. 

With so many injustices happening in this country, the fact that some people are so fucking pathetic that the most they are prepared to cause an outcry on is a naked shop dummy fills me with a feeling of dread.

That the police turn out to investigate such a pathetic outcry, while refusing to solve real crime convinces me that we are well and truly fucked.  

Beam me up Scotty.

Police called over ‘indecent’ Clitheroe mannequin


POLICE were called to a shop where a saucy mannequin has been causing a stir – and asked the owner to dress her more appropriately.

A formal complaint was made to Lancashire Police about ‘Babs’ who has been at the centre of a growing row in Clitheroe.

Some residents have been calling for her removal from public view in the window of The Time Train retro shop where she has been standing for the past five months.

Police received the complaint on Saturday and an officer went to the shop, asking them to clothe ‘Babs’ more appropriately.


Matt Taylor, 31, joint shop owner, said he has no intention of giving in and the police left without taking any action.

He told the Telegraph that ‘Babs’ may even be getting a ‘boyfriend’ in the summer.

He said: “I told the police officer that I had no intention of covering her up and it’s just ridiculous that this has gone on for so long.

“It is such a waste of time that the police were called because it isn’t a police issue.

“The whole thing is ridiculous and we intend to fight against it until the end.”

A petition against ‘Babs’ is reportedly being put together and is expected to be given to Ribble Valley Council.

A council spokeswoman said they had not received any formal complaints or a petition to date. Customer Pete Moore, 57, who is married to Nic, 51, from Clitheroe, said: “We’ve been coming into The Time Train for quite a while, always attracted by the unusual and bizarre goods on sale.

“We feel it is a huge misuse of public services by classing the mannequin on the doorstep as an emergency resulting in police presence.

“The only thing criminal is people’s lack of humour.

“All the owners are trying to do is put a smile on people’s faces during the bleak winter months. We applaud their individuality; three cheers for Babs.”

Time Train was opened in November by Matt alongside Jeff Beamer, 45, and Lisa Pickles, 26, who all quit their jobs to set up the shop.

Their counter campaign, ‘Save Babs’, on Facebook, has already reached 13,500 hits.

A spokesman for Lancashire Police said an officer attended the shop and offered ‘words of advice’.



War Hero: Police Won’t Help Us Retrieve Stolen iPhone


John Nichol – who was shot down, captured and tortured in the Gulf War – has told LBC that despite tracking its location police are refusing to help retrieve his wife’s stolen phone.
John Nichol
“My wife lost and I’m going to use the word ‘lost’ because we don’t know what happened to it, her iPhone at a meeting last week and reported it to the police,” he explained to LBC’s Nick Ferrari.

John and his wife used a tracker function on the smartphone to find out where it had ended up – a house in Clapham Junction.

“Now every time we’ve been contacted by the police, we’ve had a crime officer, we’ve had somebody asking us if we’re bothered about the crime, we’ve had somebody who needs to fill in a report,” he explained, adding that the police have said they are too busy to actually help.

“They can’t chase down every missing iPhone. What they can do is they can phone at least ten times by different people, filling in reports, asking for crime numbers, saying. ‘We need the personal number of you phone, so that if we find it in six months time, we can give it back to you.’ ”

John explained how it has stayed in the same house in Clapham ever since and his wife is now threatening to go around there herself.

John Nicholl spent 15 years in the Royal Air Force John Nichol and was shot down while on active duty in the Gulf.

He was captured and tortured, before being paraded on television by his tormentors.

He returned to active duty afterwards before retiring from the armed forces and becoming an author and broadcaster.