Crash, bang wallop what a picture


Christopher Spivey


Have I ever told you about my friend Kevin from Canvey Island – although fuck knows where he lives now, or even if he is still alive?

I haven’t seen him in well over 20 years but he isn’t the kind of guy you would ever forget.

Kev was/is two or three years older than me and probably the only fella who’s driving ever made me nervous. I wouldn’t say that he was fearless, but he just didn’t give a fuck about anything… He was totally carefree; to him life was easy come, easy go.

Indeed, Kev was a big, tall fella who thought that he looked like Rod Stewart – which he did a bit to be fair and it was the late 1980’s, early 1990’s when we socialised… Certainly the ‘chicks loved him’.

I had my own building firm at the time and he ended up working for me, driving an old Leyland Cargo lorry funnily enough, when I had the Castle Point Council contract for replacing knackered footpaths around Thundersley, Benfleet & Canvey Island – I must have been mad as he was a total lunatic on the road and if I remember rightly he didn’t even have a full licence, but I was a bit cavalier myself back then and you could get away with such trivialities if you knew the right people.

Anyway, it was around this time that he had met a bird who he actually really liked as opposed to his usual if it has tits, shag it, next please, type of relationship, when one Saturday night he ended up in the Kings Club on Canvey having not been a night to see her. And as always, come 2 AM, chucking out time he began walking home – Roughly around a 10-15 minute walk depending on how pissed he was.

However, when he got to Small Gains Corner on this particular Saturday night/Sunday morning, there was a mass brawl going on – nothing strange about that for a Saturday night/ Sunday morning on Canvey Island.

So Kev goes and joins the crowd of spectators, like ya do, just as one of the fellas who was fighting – although I can’t remember his name now for the life of me – walks back to his BMW and gets in.

Now whether this fella – and his name will come to me – meant to or not, for some reason he drives at speed straight at the crowd of spectators and Kev just can’t get out of the way in time. Hubbard, that’s the fellas name, James Hubbard – told ya it would come back to me, although it might have been Mark Hubbard, but Hubbard is definitely his surname.

So anyway, Hubbard ends up smashing into the bus stop outside of Small Gains Timber Yard with Kev’s left leg acting as a buffer and I was later told that it took the ambulance crew and presumably the fire service nearly an hour to disentangle him and get him to Basildon Hospital. Unfortunately his leg was too badly mangled to save and he had to have it amputated quite a way above the knee… Which back in the early 1990’s – and indeed is probably still the case today – meant that he was always going to walk with a pronounced limp and a walking stick – two false joints see.

Now despite being left an answer phone message and various other people ringing me throughout Sunday to let me know – I thought it best not to go see him until the next day, Monday – giving him time to recover from the anesthetic and spend time with his family and girlfriend… In other words, I didn’t want to intrude and truth to tell, I was a little bit frightened because I didn’t know how I’d react when I saw him, or even how to act when I saw him for that matter.

In the event it wasn’t the drama that I had imagined, and apart from his bandaged stump with a drain in it, Kev was undamaged, albeit a little depressed as was to be expected. Anyway, I asked him if his bird had been up and he told me that he had jacked her in, the day before (Sunday), which although it was left unsaid his decision was obviously based on how he now perceived himself I.E a limping cripple.

Kev – who had the unfortunate surname of Foote – was never the same after that. Obviously I could no longer employ him, not that he ever asked to return to work for me. He did however have various money raising benefits put on for him, one I attended was a benefit football match between Concord Rangers Football Club, whom Kev used to turn out for their B-team and a Southend United XI, which included the then Southend Utd Manager, Dave Webb, the former Chelsea & England defender.

He also received what I considered to be an insulting amount of Money from the Criminal Compensation Board, although I can’t remember what it was now, something like 7 or 8 Grand, but whatever it was, it was enough to allow him and another of his friends, who matched him pound for pound to buy a club – which was either The Goldmine or The Monaco, I can’t remember which, but they were both on Canvey and both very rundown.

Sadly the last that I heard was that he had been drinking very heavily and that they had lost the club.

As for Mark or James Hubbard, he had been bailed after he had run Kev down and was prohibited from going on to the Island whilst on bail, as much for his own safety as anything else. Canvey is very clicky and Kev was very popular.

All the same, in the end Hubbard – who if I remember rightly had been charged with attempted murder – ended up pleading guilty to some lesser charge and spent just under two years in prison… Fuck all when you consider that he ruined Kev’s life.

So why am I telling you this?

Well, it’s because the MSM script writers appear positively obsessed with people losing legs, especially females, who all seem to be dancers or models – yet are made of the “right stuff” and less than a month later they appear in the newspapers and/or on TV (usually on ‘Good Morning’ with Holly & Phil) all good as new with optimistic, positive, upbeat attitudes – which I personally find impossible to believe… Especially from a pretty teenage girl.

Indeed I cannot see how, to a pretty teenage dancer or model – who like all typical teenagers live in the here and now – losing a leg can be anything other than absolutely devastating.

Yet like a long line of fit young women who have lost legs in highly publicised incidents, 17 year old Leah Washington and 20 year old Vicky Blanch – who both lost a leg each in the Alton Towers ‘Smiler’ roller coaster crash – are an inspiration to us all by getting on with their lives.


I done well to remember Hubbard’s name as it happens when I can’t even get Leah’s name right in the time it takes me to join two photo’s together, whilst writing an article about her… Luckily most of you know that I am hopeless when it comes to remembering names, but pretty shit hot when it comes to remembering faces… It looks to me as if Laura Leah may have lost all her fingers at some point too… And Vicky has a freakishly extra-long left hand that surely must have a tendency to flap about in the wind.

Nevertheless, as if the claim that these young women are courageous, resilient and mature beyond their years needed reinforcing, you can always count on The Chimp to be the first in line to do so:

Teenager whose leg was amputated after Alton Towers rollercoaster crash posts inspirational picture surrounded by her family and friends 

  • Brave Leah Washington, 17, posed for first picture since leg amputation
  • Teenager was seriously injured during horror crash on ride at Alton Towers
  • Another young woman, Vicky Balch, 20, also lost leg during horrific smash
  • Inspirational Miss Washington is pictured smiling surrounded by friends

A brave teenager who lost a leg following a horrific rollercoaster crash at Alton Towers has posed for her first picture since the amputation.

Inspirational Leah Washington, 17, from Barnsley in South Yorkshire, can be seen smiling alongside friends and family just weeks after her leg was amputated following the June 2 crash.

Miss Washington had her leg amputated above her left knee while another young woman who was also on the ride, Vicky Balch, 20, had her right leg amputated below the knee last weekend.

Miss Washington was on a first date with new boyfriend Joe Pugh when their carriage – carrying 16 people – ploughed into the one in front.

Both Miss Balch and Miss Washington were riding in the front seats on board the Smiler ride at the Staffordshire theme park when it collided with another car which had been left on the track.

The new picture, which was posted on Facebook and already has 426 ‘likes’, shows the 17-year-old is firmly on the road to recovery – and friends were quick to tell her how brave and inspirational she has been.  

One wrote: ‘What a wonderful picture <3 xxx’ while another said ‘What a great pic, all solid good friends together. Best wishes Leah x.’

Another said: ‘Lovely pic… you’re an amazing young lady Leah.’

Now, no one wants to call two young girls who have just lost a leg each a liar.

And neither have I any desire to piss off my “long time readers, first time commenters”, who wait to do so until they are in a position to write: “Sorry Spiv, but you are wrong on this occasion”.

This slight rebuke will inevitably be based on the fact that my critic will; “have a friend, who has a friend, who has a 2nd cousin named Mike, who lives next door to a woman named Ethel, who works in Martins the newsagents and sells 20Marlboro Lights, a packet of Sherbet Lemons & the Sun newspaper to the victims auntie everyday of the week and she has apparently told Blind Bastard Betty the Barmaid that the incident happened just like it was reported… Sorry mate not trying to undermine your efforts except for by a lot. Keep up the good work”.


It’s a fucking good job that I’m not sarcastic.

But anyway, whilst I am loathe to accuse the two bints of being less than honest I am accusing them both of lying through their back teeth.

And as such, whether or not they are both amputee’s is immaterial because they certainly did not lose their legs as a result of a roller coaster accident at Alton Towers, which therefore puts them on a par with the short arsed, little fella who only ever talks bullshit… And no, I’m not talking about the funny looking, Welsh social misfit, with severe, well documented, mental elf issues.


I am of course referring to Jeff Bauman, the Boston Bomb joker who forfeited any right to sympathy when he agreed to sell his soul to the devil at the expense of his fellow countrymen & women’s future.

And incidentally since we are talking about the Boston Bomb hoax in an article about the Alton Towers hoax I may as well give you my theory about the Tsarva Tasav Travis Perkins brothers who allegedly detonated the marathon bombs… Although we obviously know that they didn’t.

I mean to say, c’mon, it was bloody convenient that one of the brothers was killed – by the other brother to boot – Wasn’t it?

You see, I believe them to be one and the same person anyway which means that it would have been a tad tricky putting them both in the dock at the same time.


And I may as well tell you that I have also found Krystle Campbell who died at the marathon.

She turned up at the Sydney Lindt Cafe hoax  playing the part of Julie Taylor, the hostage Barrister who was allegedly pregnant at the time of the siege and whom Kat Dawson (AKA Brit, Charlotte Bevan from BRISTOL who walked out of hospital with her new born baby and both promptly froze to death), so selflessly gave up her life for by standing in the way of their Muslim Extremist captors bullets.


So it was only fitting (as far as the scriptwriters were concerned) that Julie Taylor – the least photographed barrister in the world despite being held hostage in front of the world’s press cameras, should name her baby after her saviour, Katrina Charlotte Dawson Bevan… Daughter of the famous Golfer Sandy Dawson and sister to the Controversial Australian Lawyer, Sandy Dawson Jr.


And Campbell has grown her legs back too, so all is well there.

I should also point out that the Dawson family were all in the UK  – Scotland to be precise – at the time that Bevan supposedly walked out of hospital and froze to death along with her baby.


And whilst we have added the Sydney Lindt Cafe Siege to the proceedings I may as well show you who alleged Boston Bomb victim Sydney Corcoran also plays – nicely linked Spiv, thanks Chris, no worries mate.

Syd the Yid – and I can get away with that because my daughters a 4 be 2 – is also Alex Israel, former classmate of the incredibly fake looking, fake acting, Sandy Hook fake shooter, Adam Lanza.

“Not everything is a hoax Spiv” I hear the Wide Awake Club Shout… Yes it fucking is, that is why I lead and you follow, only you would have to be a proper dumb cunt to follow someone you neither like or agree with.

Oh, hang on, I forgot they do it for the laughs… Which has to be on a par with a brain dead, dribbling human shell, chained to a wall in a lunatic asylum, amusing himself by playing with his dick.

And then the retarded, half way nonce cunts who follow me religiously for “laughs” think people actually perceive them as being intelligent… Keep playing with your tiny dicks, halfway nonce cunts – if it keeps you amused.

They certainly amuse me with their consistency and capacity to misread any given situation where they have to think about something – which then becomes “ahhh, willie time”… Lets hear it for the boys, boys.

Watch, that will get Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy Jane and the other 2 half nonces furiously tugging at their willies… Tugging furiously at their willies with me in mind as it happens… Urrrggghhh its enough to make your skin crawl isn’t it.

Keep on keeping boys, I hear even Jimmy is sick and fed up of slaving away copy & pasting other people’s work only to find Jimmy talking to Jimmy about me in the comments… I think one Jimmy may even have in fact left, but that might be a rumour started by Jimmy… The one with the mental elf problem.

Oh and incidentally, despite what the disinfo dames would have you believe, I am not anywhere near finished – but the Welsh weirdo is.

Indeed you only need to go back to May 21st when Boyo Jones’ ghostwriter wrote a piece about how we were all fiddling our view counters – except for stumpty numpty of course – and with his ghostwriter/s too arrogant to believe that anyone would ever cotton on to their little ruse – nice earner – whilst at the same time pandering to Dim-Jim’s delusions of grandeur, in order to make him think that he is a big boy playing in the grown up’s league, his ghostwriter included his Alexa UK ranking in the ‘expose’, along with half a dozen other writers rankings, including my own.

Which of course makes it very easy to check how much longer he has before he drifts into the same total obscurity enjoyed by the bogus websites he wastes his mountain of free time setting up to try and discredit people.


The lower the number the more popular the website is obviously and as you can see far from being finished my support goes from strength to strength while Kranky Jimmy is moving in the opposite direction at a ratio of over three places for every single place I gain popularity.

Hence he has removed his view counter so as people can’t see how few are now visiting the lame duck

However, I think that I am going to speed the process up and put the site out of its misery in one foul swoop, because he is just a fucking irritation – abit like fungal fanny to be honest.

He serves no positive purpose and doesn’t write any of that shit that he passes off as his own articles although I do know who does write it, hence there is never anything provocative or controversial written for the site that is only monkey boyo’s site in name.

The site was in fact set up with one aim in mind and with the gutless fuck-up, Dim-Jim having mental elf issues – especially of the narcissistic kind – he was desperate and pliable enough to make an ideal front man for his handlers, who could then anonymously set about their task of destroying the Alternative Media.

Indeed, the funny looking tramp hasn’t the intellect to write the articulate, perfectly presented, albeit inconsequential articles that occasionally appear on the Outlaw site, which are written by someone with a vocabulary far superior to the dribbling idiots – as anyone who has ever spoken to him in person or on the phone will testify to.

As for making fine hand crafted cabinets, the unemployable psychopath may have once worked on an MFI flatpack production line but that is as good as it gets.

Indeed, it is those multiple mental elf issues that allow him to shit on the nation’s most damaged & vulnerable people after first gaining their trust, without so much as a hint of remorse… In fact to evaluate his worth you only have to ask yourself what has the fuck-up brought to the table in the three years that he has been fronting the blog?

And when you come up with the correct answer which is obviously: absolutely fuck all, just ask yourself what damage he has caused – and the answer to that one will take you an awful lot longer to list.

Indeed, anyone who can pretend to have been abused in care in order to gain the trust of those who have, in order to sabotage their quest for the truth & justice is just about as low as you can get within the human species.

Make a smart comment out of that Jane Russell because I know something you don’t you smart arsed piece of shit… But you are finished too and there are going to be a lot of pissed off people wanting a word, I feel sure.

So before you start getting all verbally aggressive, just ask yourself if I would risk making myself look stupid by making such a claim if I couldn’t actually come up with the goods… Dirty slimey cunts – the pair of you.   

Now, I have got that off my chest let me show you the Alex Israel/ Syd Corcoran evidence:


And as I have already shown you in previous articles, Boston Bomb victims Rebecca Gregory and Nicole Gross are one and the same, earning double bubble in donations the dirty slag.


Okay, lets get back on track.

Now, there has been another two stories about the roller coaster bollocks since I started writing this on the 5th of July, again both of them to do with how inspirational Leah Washington is… Bollox is she.

As I say, she is a liar and I am telling you now that amputee’s do not pose stood up for photos, less than a month after losing a leg like Leah is doing in the photo that appeared in the first of the three Chimp articles.


It’s a photoshop for a start. You can tell that just by following the background and the floating fella in the denim shirt stood at the back, next to the wooden corner.

Now, my mate Kevin Foote who was larger than life spent two weeks in hospital and 6 to 8 weeks after that in a wheelchair if my memory serves me, despite his amputated leg being his only injury.

The reason for that was he had to wait for his stump to heal properly and the swelling to go down before he could be measured up for a leg.

Course, Kev went out in that time because he was the type of fella to put on a brave face, although it was obvious to all that he was a changed man.

What he didn’t do is walk about – or should I say wheel himself about – in a pair of shorts with his stump on view.

So, the very notion that a 17 year old girl would happily pose for photos with her stump on view four weeks after losing her leg is just total bollox… I mean, what did she do, hop over to take up position for the photo like some kind of freak show?

I don’t think so some how!

Likewise, Tricky-Vicky Balch appeared in the same article also being all happy and “inspirational”


 … And big headed. Look at the fucking size of it!

Now, Vicky actually posted that snap on Twitter on the 30th of June and wrote:

Today I was inspired by a very amazing woman Major Kate Philp and I hope one day I can do the same for somebody else.”

So fuck knows why the Chimp cropped it.


Never the less that was exactly 4 weeks to the day of the ‘accident that she tweeted the photo… However, what you are not told is that the photo must have been taken and uploaded two or three days maximum after she finally had the amputation following “several operations to try and save the leg”.

But for that information, although very vague, you have to seek out another Chimp article which appeared on Saturday the 5th:

Vicky Balch, the dancer who lost her left leg in the Alton Towers roller coaster crash, has been pictured for the first time since surgery to remove her limb.

With a beaming smile on her face, Miss Balch sits alongside Major Kate Philp, an Afghanistan veteran who also had her leg amputated below the knee after being hit by a roadside bomb in 2008.

Posting the image on her Twitter page, Miss Balch wrote: ‘Today I was inspired by a very amazing woman Major Kate Philp and I hope one day I can do the same for somebody else.’

The picture is believed to have been taken at the Royal Stoke University Hospital, where Vicky is said to be recovering.

Major Philp was the only woman to take part in the Walking With The Wounded trek to the South Pole alongside Prince Harry two years ago. 

Miss Balch was in the front of a packed carriage on The Smiler roller coaster when it smashed into another carriage at 20mph after it got stuck on the track.

She was forced to spend her 20th birthday in hospital recovering from her injuries, while surgeons carried out seven operations to save her right leg.

However, on Saturday last week, it was reported that their efforts had failed and the limb had been removed below the knee. 

She had been sitting next to boyfriend Daniel Thorpe, 27, when the ride crashed, and he had to be treated for a collapsed lung and fractured leg. Source

So two very young, pretty birds who both lost legs, both are out and about carefree, fighting fit and ready to face millions in the national press… Pass me the sick bag.

Yet even disregarding Vicky’s massive fucking head, that photo is so blatantly photoshopped I am surprised that photoshop isn’t credited as the copyright owner. I mean, fuck me Vicky is a different fucking colour to the other 3 and the back of the bench is just poor workmanship… I also think that Matey’s beard is just added for fun value.

Nah, I’m joking, course it isn’t. It is the bottom half of someone else’s head layered over the photo of the fella leaning on the back of the bench or else a photo of the top half of someones head layered over the fella’s photo… It matters not which way round, it is still bollocks.

As is the photo of Leah posing with Joey Essex that appeared in the article and was supposedly taken before the ‘accident’.


Look at Joey Essex’s hand! Didn’t that used to be in the Adams Family? Look at where Leah’s body meets Joey’s… That means that Joey Essex is already up to speed with what the elites do for fun.

Either that or he is too fucking dense to realise.

And if she is 17 I’m a monkeys uncle.

However, if that old bollox isn’t enough to convince you, there is still a lot more old bollox to add to it.

For instance it took the emergency services 4 hours to free Leah and her boyfriend who were coincidentally on their first date… Four hours… Four fucking hours? Why didn’t she bleed to death?

The following is from the Sun:

Leah, from Barnsley, South Yorkshire, had been on a first date with new boyfriend Joe Pugh, 18.

He comforted her as she screamed and bled for four hours before emergency services could free her.

Joe’s support was made even more remarkable by the fact he had suffered shattered knee caps. He now requires months of physiotherapy.

Of the other front seat riders hotel manager Daniel Thorpe, 27,had a fractured leg and collapsed lung.

Chandaben Chauhan, 49, was also injured.

Another young woman, Vicky Balch, 20, had her right leg amputated below the knee last weekend.

She posed for her first picture last week beside Major Kate Philp, an Afghanistan war veteran who had her leg amputated after being blown up by a roadside bomb in 2008. Source

So, despite sitting with his kneecaps smashed to fuck, the EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD fella ignored the pain for 4 hours in order to keep his new bird comforted… He never went into shock or fuck all.

Indeed, that claim is in fact more unbelievable than Leo Caprianianianio freezing to death in the sea whilst giving encouragement to Kate Winslet sat on top of a bit of Titanic debris… Yet no one was pretending that far-fetched shit was anything other than a film.

Now as it happened, Super-Joe also appeared on ‘Good Morning’, this morning – told’ja that is what they do – where he told Philip & Amanda that he didn’t use his wheelchair because people stared at him when he did.

Mind you, whether it was for the production crews benefit or to give Super-Joe a ‘big up‘, Phil explained that Joe had walked unaided onto the set and was going to walk off again in the same manner – although to be fair, Joe had said that he couldn’t walk unaided for more than half an hour… HALF A FUCKING HOUR! UN-FUCKING-AIDED? FIVE WEEKS AFTER SHATTERING BOTH KNEES? GO FUCK Y’SELF. Although fuck knows how he shattered them as you will see shortly.

Never the less, his performance was absolute total, total bollox although obviously he had to have his knees on show… Course, you would have thought that his handlers would have gone: “Psssst… Stop tapping ya fucking foot ya thick dick”.


So, he admits to being embarrassed about being in a wheelchair but he doesn’t mind being seen with his bird hopping along happily behind him? Roger that.

But if that still doesn’t convince you that the Smiler crash is anything other than a fraud, have a look at the photoshopped old bollox taken in the aftermath of the hoax.


Take a long hard look now. Finished?

Okay, and now the impact:


What a load of old bollocks and a gross insult to our intelligence. You see, whilst it is true that there are two trains running at the same time on the roller coaster they only have FOUR cars each… Now look at those photos and count the cars again.


Convinced? Of course you are.

I mean, Sticky-Tricky-Vicky wasn’t in the first carriage/car and as you will no doubt know, you are fastened into your seat as tight as an astronaut on these roller coasters for obvious reasons and as such your body cannot lurch forward on impact – although whiplash to the neck is possible I suppose.

Therefore, the only way that the metal frame could have smashed into Vicky’s leg, crushing it so badly that she later had to have it amputated was if the first car carrying Leah Washington and her Superman lover on their first date was that badly damaged that the front rail crumpled into Leah & Co, smashing their seats back across the gap where the cars couple together and smashing into the rail of the second car pushing it far enough back to crush Vickys leg/s against her seat.

However, had that been the case – which it certainly wasn’t since we see the cars roll back following impact in the Chimps video – Leah, Super-Joe and the other two in the front car would have to have been killed instantly for that to happen.

Nevertheless, we may as well look at the rescue photos which confirm what I say about the cars not being crushed.


Now, if you read my introduction to this piece you will understand why I mentioned that the first thing that Kev – who at around 30yrs old when he lost his leg was considerably more mature than Leah, Super-Joe and Vicky – did was jack his bird in, despite him always having been super-confident with women.

And although Kev never told me why he jacked in the only bird that I had ever seen him really like, it was quite obvious that his supreme confidence was shattered and he couldn’t imagine any bird wanting to be with him, which is a natural reaction for someone who had just lost a large portion of their body despite that notion being incorrect.

Now, I am not so old that I cannot remember back to when I was 18 – a horrible little bastard – and 18 year olds these days are far more shallow, self obsessed and image conscious than we were back in the day, so the notion that Super-Joe would still be interested in Leah (bearing in mind that they were on their first date so he can’t have been head over heals in love with her), is just Walt Disney.

In fact it is funny that she didn’t appear on ‘This Morning’ with him… You know, where he told millions that he was embarrassed to be seen in his wheelchair.

Yet hot on the heel of Leah hopping around a restaurant with her stump on show, posing for photos, she and Super-Joe with the shattered kneecaps went out on their 2nd date:

Alton Towers crash survivors Joe Pugh and Leah Washington have been photographed out on their first date since last month’s horror accident. 

The pair had a romantic meal at a restaurant following 17-year-old Miss Washington’s release from hospital after losing her leg.

The couple were both on The Smiler roller coaster in Alton Towers when the accident happened.

Medics battled to save Miss Washington’s limb, but the crush injuries were so severe they were forced to amputate her left leg above the knee.

Mr Pugh posted a picture on Facebook of himself and Miss Washington enjoying the meal.

Miss Washington has received massive public support as she continues her rehabilitation after suffering life-changing injuries.

She has even received a get-well-soon gesture from Britain’s most violent prisoner Charles Bronson, who sent her a hand-drawn card featuring a smiling crocodile. Source


They don’t half look healthy don’t they… Healthy and photoshopped (check out the black lines around their bodies) without a wheelchair in sight. Why is it in black & white? My stacey is nearly twenty so I know that B&W photos are not trendy.


Course, the MSM didn’t spot any of the above anomalies and as such cannot be held responsible for bringing dis-information to the public… Dirty stinking arseholes.

Stop accepting lies people…. It makes me out to be the bad guy.