Common as muck


Spiv & Chimps


Here’s one to get your gag reflexes going:

“The proudest great-granny in Britain! The Queen beams with delight as her great-grandchildren enjoy marvellous day out (and lots of ice cream) at Royal Windsor Horse Show”, boasts the Chimp headline.

Do me a fucking favour! What the fuck makes her prouder of her brood than any other person?

Although to be fair, the headline does not actually state that it is Bizzy Lizzy’s Great grandchildren that she is so proud of… I mean the newspaper could be talking about how proud she is to have gotten away with abducting those ten poor little kiddies that she and the duck took from a Canadian children’s home, only for them to never be seen or heard of again – despite all of the evidence to prove that the abduction took place.

I mean fuck me, the shit-rag cannot possibly be referring to Sweaty Betty spending time with her grandchildren & great-grandchildren at the Royal Windsor Horse Show can they?

After all, despite the Queer & Duck being in attendance, she is not so much as pictured once anywhere near them:

Beaming with joy as they dragged their doting parents around fairground rides, the Queen’s great-grandchildren looked a picture of happiness today.

Isla, aged three, and Savannah, who will turn five in December, appeared to have a wonderful time as they led father Peter Phillips and his wife Autumn around the Royal Windsor Horse Show.

Phillips, who is the Queen’s eldest grandchild, is known for keeping a low profile but was pictured with daughter Savannah taking a spin on a merry-go-round at the annual event in the grounds of Windsor Castle in Berkshire.

Both daughters later joined their Canadian mother, Autumn, for a ride on the Ferris wheel.

The little girls were dressed in matching denim jackets and brightly patterned gypsy-style dresses – and are likely to have bumped into their great-grandmother the Queen, who was also at the show – but if they did the MSM certainly were not there to capture the moment… Therefore we can take it as read that she couldn’t be arsed to go and see them & vice versa… Carry on.

This week’s Royal Windsor Horse Show is regarded as an unmissable event in Her Majesty’s diary and she has faithfully turned out every day to admire the equestrian talent on display – but not her children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren.

The five-day show which is held in the private grounds of Windsor Castle is now in its 72nd year and the Queen has not missed one since it began as a wartime fundraising event back in 1943.

It is a show intrinsically linked with the royal family; both the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh competed at it during their younger years, with Prince Philip entering the Carriage Driving at Royal Windsor Horse Show for 30 years and winning once in 1982.

Other members of the Royal family who have been spotted enjoying the show today include Prince Philip and Prince Edward with his wife, son and daughter – The Duck wasn’t seen anywhere near his Grandchildren or Great-Grandchildren either, although to be fair; apart from Peter Philips and his two daughters, the old bastard didn’t have any other grandchildren or great-grandchildren there.


After all, Princeck Ed De’Ball is not his child.

Indeed, it is a matter of public record that the Queer stopped sleeping with the Duck after Princess Horseface was born, which was tactfully blamed on the Queer’s dedication to duty – although I haven’t a scooby-fucking-do what duty they are talking about. I mean to say, she does fuck all except take the piss!

Not that it is relevant since the real reason was because of the Ducks inability to stay faithful.

Nevertheless, Sweaty went on to have two more inbreds, Princess Andrew born in 1960 and Prick Edward born in 1964.

However, the Queer had not gone back on her vow to not sleep with the Duck again, since Andrew – who publicly stated that he had to call Sweaty, “your Majesty” as a boy – is the son of Lord Porchester and Ed the Duck is the son of Baron Kerplunk, or whatever Patrick Plunkett’s real name is.

Prince Andrew’s parentage was called into question shortly after his birth and the murmurings have gained momentum ever since by sly digs in the media such as this one from the Telegraph:

“There are those who persist in believing that Prince Andrew’s natural father was the Queen’s racing manager, Henry Porchester, “Porchey”, 7th Earl of Carnarvon, suggesting the conception occurred at some point between 20 January and 30 April 1959 when Philip was away on another of his long sea voyages in the Britannia”.

Now read that again because it is very, very carefully worded and is actually a snippet taken from an article trying to pour scorn on the rumour.

However, in 1993 The New York Times Magazine exposed the Queen’s penchant for sleeping with the hired help in an article which quoted the columnist Nigel Dempster telling the author Christopher Hitchens: ‘Get hold of a picture of Prince Andrew and then one of Lord Porchester at the same age. You’ll see that Prince Philip could never have been Andy’s father’.

Now quite obviously, the Queer did not dare challenge the article.

She did however fritter away some more of the tax payer’s money by increasing the budget for the Buckingham Palace Press Office – the outfit set up decades ago to buy the silence of media owners and editors.

BTY6GC Royal Family Racing At Epsom 1967 Queen Elizabeth II And The Royal Party duchess Of Gloucester And Lord Porchester Centre Clap

Tellingly, another Telegraph article dated the 6th July 2012 stated the following:

Euston headed the list of well-born “flirts” that Elizabeth and her friends used to joke about, which also included Lords Porchester and Plunket, among others. Unlike her fun-loving younger sister, Margaret, Elizabeth was painfully shy and cautious and solemn in her demeanour, albeit still attractive.

At parties she could appear something of a wallflower. However, at nightclubs – such as the 400 Club in Leicester Square, where there was a band for dancing, or the nearby Café de Paris, before it was bombed – she could be squired by young men she liked, away from prying eyes.

“She clearly found Hugh Euston, Porchey [Lord Porchester] and Lord Plunket sexually attractive,” recalled a lady-in-waiting to the Telegraph journalist and author Graham Turner, “and they would get the come-hither looks, a fluttering of the eyelashes.

You can’t have much going on between you in a Viennese waltz, but there’s the look, the pressure of the hand and, in those days, it wasn’t so commonplace to want the next thing.”

Moreover, according to royal researcher Jim Hutchinson, State Papers released in 2009 confirm that in 1959, the [pregnant] Queen and the question as to who her – as yet unborn – baby’s father was likely to be, was discussed in Cabinet on three occasions.

This claim was repeated on page 200 of John Parker’s book: ‘Prince Philip- a critical biography’:

On January 1,1990 the Cabinet papers of the Macmillan government released for the year 1959 (the year that Prince Andrew was conceived) confirmed that the royal family was discussed in Cabinet on three occasions that year but the subject matter was sufficiently sensitive for the government to order that it be kept secret for a much longer period than normal.

One of the items was stamped with a 50 year embargo – as opposed to the normal 30 years – and two items were locked away for 100 years not to be revealed until 2059.

What could possibly be serious enough to warrant this kind of secrecy?

It was virtually without precedent in times of normality. From recent times only the Cabinet documents relating to the Abdication remain precluded.

In 1959 there were no wars, political upsets or constitutional crises.


And then four years after Glandy Andy’s birth, Prick Ed Da’Ball was born and just like his older brother, it wasn’t long before his parentage became gossip for the press. However, in Dick-Ed’s case the man being touted as his Father wasn’t the womanising Lord Porchester – it was in fact a chap named Baron Patrick Plunkett.

Now while the evidence for Baron Kerplunk being Prick Edwards father isn’t quite as compelling as that for Porchester being Princess Andrew’s father, it would tie in with the much repeated, aforementioned claim that after the birth of Princess Ann, Bizzy Lizzy refused to have Philip the Duck in her bed.

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That bed ban claim was also repeated in a book written by Nicholas Davies and revealed “a shocking world of royal adultery, passion and betrayal”

The book stated – as fact, not surmise – that the Duke of Edinburgh’s liaisons with his cousin, Princess Alexandra and the film star Merle Oberon, not to mention his former Daughter in Law’s mother, Susan Barrantes (amongst others!) – as the reason “why the Queen banned her husband from her bed”.

Moreover, again according to Davis:

When Patrick Plunket died of cancer in 1975 Elizabeth wept openly.Plunket is buried in the royal family’s private burial ground at Frogmore in Windsor Park. His grave is surmounted by an elegant tombstone which the Queen designed.

Frogmore is where King Edward VIII and the Duchess of Windsor are buried. The ex- king had to make a personal plea to the Queen to permit the Duchess be buried beside him.

You might wonder why the Deputy Master of the Royal Household was buried in the royal family’s private burial ground.but now knowing the relationship Maybe not.

And on Page 188 of his book  ‘Queen Elizabeth II, a woman who is not amused’, Davies writes about a warning given to Sweaty by her Uncle In Law, Lord Nonce Mount-Anything:

Elizabeth began to spend a great deal of time with Lord Porchester and they would frequently meet at Broadlands where Mountbatten would be their host.

They would ride together, walk for hours with the dogs and sit and chat into the night.

Mountbatten was concerned that Elizabeth was infatuated with the handsome Harry Porchester, perhaps even emotionally involved. After much thought Mountbatten took the unprecedented step of writing her a letter of warning.

“I urge you to be more discreet in your relationship with Porchy” wrote Mountbatten according to John Barratt.

Mountbatten knew what was going on and was worried in case things got out of hand. He saw the way they were to each other, how close they had become, acting towards each other as though lovers. ‘I think there was also a sense of jealousy too.

However, he was genuinely concerned that she and Porchy were spending too much time together at Broadlands and it was obvious that he believed they were becoming too involved. He told me so; he used to shake his head about it, not knowing how he should tackle the situation.

Elizabeth was so animated when Porchy was around and they got on so well together.’


Elizabeth appeared to take little notice of Uncle Dickie’s warning for she continued to see much of Harry Porchester but the couple spent fewer weekends at Broadlands.

Later they would travel abroad together on racing business and spend weekends together.

Since 1975 Elizabeth and Porchy have often visited Kentucky together during the spring yearling sales.

More damning still, the Telegraph reported in an article on the 5th of September 2004, about how Philip  had sat “impassively, incensed but silent” when a Journalist from a “Sunday broadsheet” had suggested to the Duke that he might have a raft of illegitimate children and had enjoyed a homosexual liaison with Valery Giscard d’Estaing, the former President of France.

But nevertheless, it is pretty safe to say that Prick Ed’s daughter Louise – who unfortunately is a dead ringer for her nan at the same age – is not the Duck’s grandchild.


And as such, neither is the Duck grandpa to the other inbred child of Cock-Steady-Eddie – whatever the fuck his name might be.

It is also worth pointing out that the Queer’s eldest grandson, Peter Phillips appeared to have been replaced by an imposter at the Royal Windsor Horse Show.


Peter Phillips-Screwloose is of course Princess Horseface’s son… And Ann Horseface tends to stay away from the Royal Windsor Horse Show ever since a judge tried to pin a blue ribbon on her jacksy after having declared her the Best of Breed in the Gelding class.


And obviously Dobbin too, is devoid of all morals what with her also being prone to having a bit of extra marital how’s ya father.

Indeed not only did she cheat on her first husband, Skid-Mark Phillips by having an affair with her bodyguard, Peter Cross-Dresser – she also cheated on her current husband Tim Nice-But-Bland.

More sordid still is the fact that Mr Cross-Dresser is thought to be Horseface’s daughter, Zara Phillips’ real dad.

And, once again the Royal Researcher Jim Hutchinson had the following to say on the matter:

“Zara is the daughter of Princess Anne and Peter Cross, a detective of the Royal Protection Squad. When Princess Anne told Mummy she was pregnant Cross was moved to an ordinary police job in South London. But ‘the Royal and her Dick affair’ carried on (and on – much to the delight of MI5).

The Queen’s spooks reported the couple spending steamy nights in a workers cottage on Anne’s Gatcombe Park estate, Gloucester. Mummy was not amused”.

Dacre’s Dunces however, were slightly more restrained than Mr Hutchinson.

They had this to say on the affair which – as you will shortly discover – also reveals that Dobbin’s husband at the time, Captain Skid-Mark Phillips had also got in on the royal trend of having illegitimate children:

“For some years before they parted, she and Mark Phillips were not really happy.

As he flew around the world riding and teaching (and siring an illegitimate child in New Zealand, whose mother eventually came looking for maintenance), there was talk and innuendo about Anne and the men close to her

Much of it involved Detective Sergeant Peter Cross, a married officer from Mitcham, South-West London, who became her protection officer in 1979.

A year later, Anne came down to breakfast at Gatcombe Park to find grim-faced Royal Protection Squad senior officers waiting to meet her. Cross was being relieved of his duties amid suggestions that he and the Princess had become ‘too close’.

Never was the Princess’s imperious manner as useful as when rebutting such suggestions.

The formerly high-flying Cross found himself back in uniform, but moved from the glamour of royal protection to a mundane role behind a desk at Croydon police station.

Alas, that wasn’t the end of the matter because four years later, in 1984, handsome Sergeant Cross (by then retired) sold his kiss-and-tell story to the News Of The World.

They paid him £600,000 – worth about £2million in today’s money  –  in exchange for which he claimed the Princess snuggled up to him on the sofa while watching TV at Gatcombe, had intimate meetings in the library and in a lodge on the estate, the changing rooms of a swimming pool at Windsor and even a rendezvous in a three-bedroom semi in Ewell, Surrey, loaned to them for the afternoon by a fellow officer.

The Princess Royal has never acknowledged, let alone commented, on his claims”.

And guess who Dobbin is shagging this time around?

Yep, Gorilla Parker Horsefeatures, ex-husband Andrew… Which means that whilst Prince Buggerlugs was shagging Andy Parker Bowles wife behind his back – Andy Parker Bowles was shagging Prince Buggerlugs sister behind his back… You couldn’t make this shit up don’t cha know!

Indeed, the Monkey-Nutz had this to say about the matter on June the 19th 2010:

“It’s been 37 years since their red-hot affair ended in tears when the young cavalry officer called a halt to their romps, announcing he was going to marry a girl called Camilla.

Anne, shattered at the loss of her one true love, got hitched on the rebound to another cavalryman, Mark Phillips, before finding contentment of sorts with ‘harmless’ naval officer Tim Laurence.

Since then, between their four collective marriages, Anne and Andrew have often rekindled the flame.

Anne is 59 and Andrew 70 – but despite their advancing years, the talk round Royal enclosure this week focused on a report that their on-off affair was on again”.

Now, as far as I am aware, Ann and her husband Dim Tim have not announced their separation to date. Therefore, a person would be entitled to ask; Is there no end to this dysfunctional family’s bed-hopping?

Apparently not.


Course, Zara must have upset the royal applecart a bit by marrying Mike Tindall.

Mind you, he must save the parasites a few bob on the old protection budget… I mean have you seen the size of the cunt? You certainly wouldn’t want to meet him down a dark alley.


Now like I say, not only didn’t Black Betty see her children, grandchildren & great grandchildren at the horse show, she didn’t see the Duck either – although he was there.

You see, the Duck was with his girlfriend and I do mean ‘girlfriend’ in the proper sense of the word.

Or to clarify further, the Duck was with Lady Penny Romsey.

Now the MSM can call Penny whatever the fuck they want, but in reality she is still Lady Penelope Bradbourne – the bird that the Duck has been shagging for years.

Lady Penelope is in fact the grandaughter-in-law of the Duck’s uncle, Lord Nonce Mount-Anything, who is more commonly known as either Louis Mountbatten or “that perverted old sick fuck piece of shit”.

Indeed, when Mount-Anything was blown up to fuck, the Queer & the Duck were – rather strangely – very keen to take survivor Timothy Knatchbull in.

Timothy is also the grandson of Mount-Anything as well as being Brother in Law to Penelope and he had been on the boat when it blew up; killing his brother Nicholas and Grandpa Nonce in the process.

Certainly the Duck and Queer’s kindness was properly out of character for the notoriously cold and callous senior royals. The following is from the Chimp:

Family and friends rallied. The Queen and Prince Philip invited Tim and his 22-year-old sister Amanda to holiday with them at Balmoral. What still strikes Tim today was the Queen’s maternal kindness. 

‘We have a great mother on the throne of this country,’ he says. ‘When my mum, her good friend, was laid low, the Queen stepped in. We were very late arriving at Balmoral, because of a delay to our flight, and the Queen and Prince Charles plied us with soup and sandwiches.

‘Amanda took the lead in thanking them and suggesting they go to bed, but there was no persuading them. They continued to bring food and drink and ask for news from home. After a while we ambled down the corridor. We knew the form; at some point the Queen would break off and head in the direction of her bedroom. None of it. 

‘She shepherded us into our rooms and started to unpack. Here, Amanda drew the line, removing a sweater from the Queen’s hands and convincing her that we really would be happier if she took herself to bed. Read More

Now, when you consider that “the Queen has mellowed from a stern mother whose children called her ‘Your Majesty’ to a doting granny… Read More

And then add that to the fact that a few hours after Princess Diana’s murder, The Duck insisted that the then 15 year old Little Bald Willie and 12 year old Prince Harry Hewitt attend church with the family, it’s not hard to see how strange the Royals behaviour was towards Timothy Knatchbull.

Certainly – as I have been telling you – the Duck had no qualms about shagging Timothy’s older brother, Norton’s wife.

This too from the Monkey Boys:

For years he’d (Norton Knatchbull) had to endure the speculation over his wife Penny’s relationship with Prince Philip, who is his first cousin once removed.

Since Philip’s switch to carriage driving from polo, Lady Brabourne had been a regular fixture at his side. She is 57, Philip is 89. 

The daughter of Reg Eastwood, a butcher who left school at 15 and went on to found the Angus Steakhouse eateries, Penny Brabourne was not at first glance the ideal soulmate for one of modern royalty’s grandest figures. But her stunning blonde looks and her determined attitude captured Philip’s attention. 

Often they would travel round the country together without their spouses. Among the tight-knit community who are their friends, the relationship goes unquestioned. 

At one very grand house where they have stayed after carriage-driving events, a fellow guest told me: ‘Everybody knows about Philip and Penny – they are close. But nobody knows any more than that. They do NOT share a bedroom. Read More

Furthermore – bizarre and sordid as it may sound – the Duck’s son, Prince Buggerlugs had also had a bit of Penny:

In mid-August, Charles took off for Majorca, where he was spotted in what at first seemed an overly warm embrace with former girlfriend Penny Romsey.

But the raising of eyebrows was followed by the lowering of the boom: Her husband, Lord Romsey, indignantly explained that Charles was just comforting Penny after she’d learned that her 4-year-old daughter, Leonora, had cancer. (Charles was vindicated when the newspaper that published the rumor of romance retracted it.) Source

Yet despite the fact that Phil the Duck has been shagging Penny for fucking years, her infidelity is all the fault of her husband, Norton Brabourne apparently – what with him having years later finally fucked off with someone else… That is to say that Dacre’s Dunces would have you believe that it is all Norton’s fault:

The homecoming was nothing like it used to be. At one time, the staff at Broadlands, a vast, historic country house, rich with royal memories, would greet Lord Brabourne in the great, pillared hall, Downton Abbey-style.

This time, having been away for more than three years, he slipped sheepishly through the gates of the 6,000-acre Hampshire estate, where both the Queen and Prince Charles spent part of their honeymoons.

But he did not head for the four towering pillars framing the front door of the Palladian mansion left to him by his grandfather, Earl Mountbatten of Burma.

Instead, he made for a converted barn, where his belongings were unloaded from the car.

Lord Brabourne, Prince Philip’s godson and lifelong friend, and cousin of the Prince of Wales, was back after an extraordinary, amorous adventure with an exotic beauty that had taken him to the Bahamas.

Several weeks after this bizarre return, he is still not living in his ancestral and marital home. To put it mildly, things are no longer quite the same since he walked away from his 31-year marriage.

Family friends say it is ‘doubtful’ that Brabourne will be able to effect a rapprochement with his wife Penny — Prince Philip’s carriage-driving companion — whose father began life as a butcher, before making a fortune as the founder of the Angus Steakhouse chain.

Thus far, the formidable Lady Brabourne has given no indication that she is even considering inviting her wayward husband, Norton, to come back and live under the roof of the historic house, far less into her bed.

Understandably, she is an angry wife. Broadlands was left to Brabourne in the expectation that he would devote his life to maintaining an estate of unique historic provenance, where Noel Coward used to play the piano at weekend house parties when the Queen and Philip were staying.

Instead, Penny has been running it — and doing so rather well. In her husband’s absence — making a mockery of the family motto ‘In Honour Bound’ — she even took over his role of High Steward of nearby Romsey, wearing the blue-and-gold robes with style, and carrying out the ceremonial duties with enormous aplomb. Source


Christ that family make me wanna puke. Quite why we put up with the abominations is beyond me.

Mind you, when you consider that as a young lad the Duck’s mother had to be locked up after going stark raving bonkers (probably a result of inbreeding), along with the Duck’s bisexual father being unable or unwilling to look after his son (having by then fucked off with a gold digging floozy) thus leaving the Duck at the mercy of his paedophile uncle’s, Louis & George Mount-Anything – it is hardly surprising that the Duck is himself completely fucking quackers:

She was born Princess Alice of Battenberg in 1885 at Windsor Castle, a great-granddaughter of Queen Victoria, and raised as an English princess, although both her parents were German.

Alice was congenitally deaf but she could speak clearly. Photographs show how beautiful she was, with her upswept hair and lace gowns.

By 1930 she was hearing voices and believed she was having physical relationships with Jesus and other religious figures.

She was diagnosed as schizophrenic, and when treatment in a Berlin clinic failed – on the advice of Sigmund Freud her womb was blasted with X-rays to cure her of frustrated sexual desires – she was admitted to a Swiss sanatorium.

On the day she left, the nine-year-old Prince Philip was taken out by his grandmother for a picnic. When he returned, his mother had gone. ‘It was literally a car and men in white coats, coming to take her away,’ explains Alice’s biographer Hugo Vickers.

She remained a prisoner there for two and a half years. ‘It was rather hushed up,’ explains Alice’s niece Countess Mountbatten, 88. ‘I think my aunt would have suffered very much.’ 

Although the couple never divorced, Alice was effectively abandoned by her playboy husband Prince Andrew, who went to live on the French Riviera with his mistress.

Prince Philip was now homeless, spending boarding school holidays with various relatives, including his uncle Lord Louis Mountbatten, father of Countess Mountbatten. She recalls that when Philip visited them one Christmas, he signed his name in the visitors’ book and gave his address as ‘no fixed abode’.  

Shortly before Alice died in 1969, she wrote to her only son, whose childhood had been so scarred by her absence… Source

The sad, bad, mad, Sunday Spiv – The midweek edition

Yet according to Greg Hallett, it was the Duck who was behind Nonce Mount-Anythings conversion into fish food; not the IRA’s:

Prince Philip was raised by Lord Louis Mountbatten, and it appears that is was Prince Philip who ordered the hit on Lord Louis Mountbatten in order to cover up the heroin trafficking triumvirate, and especially the use of the navy, of which Prince Philip is the head, and using sea horses (a mechanical device) to transfer heroin from one ship to another. Source

It is also worth pointing out that Mount-Anything was also loverboy to Bizzy Lizzy’s Uncle Edward who abdicated the throne in favour of being pushed around in a pram, dressed as a baby, by Walis Simpson – who was rumoured to be a hermaphrodite… You really, really couldn’t make this shit up.

Nevertheless, you can find the Chimps sycophantic article about Proud Granny Betty not seeing her great-grandchildren at the horsie bash by clicking HERE

It is also worth noting that for a so called “proud Granny“, Sweaty Betty allocated just 20 minutes to see her new great-grandaughter, Charlotte for the first time in the three days following her birth.

And you have just got to love the Monkey-Cuntz positive spin on the Queer’s less than enthusiastic, somewhat belated visit to Kensington Palace:

The Queen has finally been introduced to her great-granddaughter Princess Charlotte.

The 89-year-old monarch travelled to Kensington Palace this afternoon to meet with the newborn royal, where she stayed for just half an hour – half an hour? Really? Please do enlighten us further:

The Queen was spotted arriving in a green Range Rover at a side entrance to the palace at around 2.35pm. She then left just before 3pm through the main entrance on Kensington High Street, in a convoy of two cars and and four police motor bikes. Charlotte Elizabeth Diana, who was born three days ago, is the Queen’s fifth great-grandchild and also shares her name. Continue Reading

I didn’t know that Betty was called Charlotte did you?

Mind you, it is very doubtful that Clockwork Charlie is actually even the Queer’s Great-Grandaughter to be honest.

Willie cuddles his new born daughter

And if the Duck had a tragic upbringing that made him the monster that he is today, Bizzy’s was no better.

After all, her paedophile mother ended up a bitter & twisted old alcoholic, after her father had promised that she would marry the King of England.

Course Sweaty Senior had taken that promise as meaning that she was to marry Edward the Gay Babyman whom – according to the man himself – she was hopelessly in love with… Instead she got the retarded Prince Albert. Source

The following was written by my friend & author, John Hamer:

 Prince Albert Victor, the Duke of Clarence otherwise known by his colloquial name of ‘Prince Eddy was the eldest son of Albert Edward the Prince of Wales (later King Edward VII) and Princess Alexandra (later Queen Alexandra), the grandson of the reigning monarch, Queen Victoria and older brother of the future king of England, King George V and as such would have been first in line to the throne.

Unfortunately, due to centuries of Royal in-breeding, Eddy was partially deaf and of well below average intelligence and was thus shunned by the majority of his cold-hearted family.

Queen Victoria, the reigning monarch at the time was a great supporter and patron of Freemasonry as were all the Royal males of the age (and as they still are today).  Indeed it was the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha family (the current British royals) who had sponsored the rise of Adam Weishaupt, the founder of the Illuminati, originally a Freemasonry offshoot, in Bavaria in the 18th century. Weishaupt was indeed born and raised in the Bavarian town of Gotha.

There are several Masonic lodges in the Royal palaces of Britain, the most significant one perhaps being the Royal Alpha Lodge in Kensington Palace(where Prince and Princess Mick live. I’m getting good at this history lark – Spivey).  In 1885 Prince Eddy was initiated into the Royal Alpha Lodge at the behest of his father.

As well as his membership of the lodge, Eddy was also a regular ‘customer’ at a homosexual-paedophile brothel in Cleveland Street, London and indiscreetly instigated a series of explicit love-letters with a young boy employed at these most vile of premises.

In the meantime, Prince Eddy, his mental health by now completely shattered, was given into the care of the Earl of Strathmore who owned Glamis Castle in Scotland.  The royal family then blatantly lied to the world and announced that Eddy had sadly passed away at the age of only 28, on the 14th January 1892 due to influenza, but of course Eddy was still alive and being held in Balmoral Castle having not yet made the final move to Glamis.

Balmoral is approximately 1000 feet (300 metres) above sea-level and as such is partly surrounded by steep cliffs.  This was the intended site for the planned murder of Eddy to be undertaken by Randolph Churchill (Winstons old man – Spivey) and John Netley the coachman.   The prince was pushed from the cliff-top but somehow managed to survive his fall and after the passage of two days had endeavoured to crawl all the way back to Balmoral where he was found at the door by his disbelieving hosts.

It was decided after this that the best option would be to just incarcerate him at Glamis for the rest of his life and the Earl of Strathmore agreed to undertake this task on behalf of the royals in return for one simple favour.  The favour he stipulated was that one of his daughters be allowed to marry a future king of England.

Poor Eddy died in 1933, forty one years after his ‘official’ death date and during this time, his mother visited him only once, but took a photograph of him which she apparently sent to her cousin.  This photograph is still in existence and shows a much older Eddy thoughtfully painting a picture which would sadly never be seen by anyone outside the walls of Glamis Castle.

The pact between Strathmore and the royal family was eventually fulfilled in 1923 when Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon (his daughter, b. 1900) married the future King George VI of England after originally being betrothed to his brother, the former King Edward VIII (he of abdication fame) (Told ya she had the hots for him – Spivey).

In 1936 George ascended the throne upon his elder brother’s abdication and Elizabeth became his queen consort.  Elizabeth of course was more commonly known as the Queen Mother and the mother of the current incumbent of the family firm, Queen Elizabeth the second.  She went to her grave in 2002 without ever revealing the secret and thus the world was never aware of this unholy pact. 

And then there is this:

King George V, who was Russian and Danish, gave birth to the person who became King George VI. King George VI had an IQ of 67, which is one point above retarded. He had knocked knees, he had a terrible stutter and he didn’t have an attention span long enough to be photographed, he just wandered off . . . So there is a movie made about that recently called ‘The King’s Speech’ which is a bunch of propaganda how he was an E for ‘Achievement’ and an A for ‘Try Hard’. Source

And this:

George VI was the second child and he was born in 1895. His real first name was Albert but he was crowned George VI because Albert was to German. Bertie, as he was called, had a very nervous disposition and as a child he stuttered severely. He also had knock knees, forcing him to wear leg braces at night and he was sickly. All of this made his father wonder if he was fit enough to be the son of a king and George V often tortured his young son.

The stutter would disappear if he was comfortable in a situation but as soon as he became nervous the stutter returned; even while he was king. Fortunately he was able to take over the throne and he served as an able king despite his awful childhood experiences. Source

Course, Sweaty’s aunt and four uncles were all – to varying degrees – subject to disability and mental retardation brought about by inbreeding – Prince John the Bon-Bon being the most seriously affected.


Indeed, it is alleged that Winston Churchill is the real father of the Queer since it was too risky to let Albert do the do – what with his retardation and health defects brought about by years of family inbreeding.


So, it is safe to say that the Queer Mother was also kinky bonkers as well as being a nonce.

Indeed nothing illustrates this fact better than an old article published in the Daily Express way back in 1986 and which – given the present climate – would never have been allowed to be published had it been written today:

Guests witness a little horseplay by the Queen Mum

By Chris Hutchins

A FRIEND of my aunt Jane’s took tea with the Queen Mother the other afternoon, and by all accounts, Her Majesty was highly amused by reports that the BBC had rehearsed the day of her passing.

“I hope it’s not all too solemn,” she said over a cup of the Earl Grey. “They ought to come up with some amusing stories—after all I’ve had lots of fun in my time.”

Indeed, she has. Permit me to convey to the editors at the BBC a story about some after-dinner entertainment she obliged her guests to take partake in at Royal Lodge Windsor not so long ago.

Ma’am decided that they should all play indoor point-to-point—without the horses, naturally.

The distinguished guests—one of whom bore a striking resemblance to the Archbishop of Canterbury—were required to circle the room on all fours “jumping” over strategically placed cushions.

One slowcoach was encouraged to go faster by the Queen’s mother “whipping” him with a furled napkin.

On another occasion, when Lord and Lady Carrington were present at Windsor Lodge, HM got guests to dance a Highland reel after dinner having first placed an appropriate record on the gramophone. At the end of the reel, the diners were surprised when their hostess announced that she was going to take the salute.

They were required to line up and march past her, saluting as she stood to attention returning the gesture.

Perhaps it was a mischievous retaliatory gesture of Lord Hailsham’s to sing the Marseillaise at breakfast next morning.

So there you have it, I won’t be getting a knighthood any time soon.

But what a disgusting gang of perverted nonce-ponce gangsters they really are – all living a life that even Walt Disney couldn’t make up… Or could he?

See ya, byyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.