Cameron’s Comedians.


Chris Spivey

The following is a copy of a letter, a friend of mine received in reply to a letter they had sent to their MP, The RT Useless Twat James Duddridge.

The letter is pretty self explanatory. However, the contents of the reply can, at best be described as pathetic bullshit mixed with blatant lies.

Course, this comes as no surprise to me since Duddridge is also my MP whom I have also had  dealings with on two or three occasions. These dealings led me to concluded that Dudders either deliberately plays the part of a confused half wit, or he is indeed a confused halfwit. I rather suspect its the latter to be honest.

Never the less, my friend is actually quite honoured to get a reply, since the cunt doesn’t even bother acknowledging my communications these days, let alone reply to them.

Anyway, read the letter and we will go from there.

Blah blah fucking blah!

Okay, lets have a closer look at what Dim Jim has to say. Apology accepted by the way,  we know your… Busy… Pffft.

First off, The Tory MP for Rochford and Southend East informs us that no official commitment has of yet been made in regard to Slaggy Thatchers proposed State Funeral.

If that is the case, then Bizzy lizzy needs to make up her mind pretty dam quick  so as Party Planner Pippa Middleton, or whoever is going to be in charge of organising the knees up can start drawing up a guest list… After all Maggie hasn’t been well so the fucking old bitch could kick the bucket any time now.

What I find interesting is that the Labour Party want to erect a statue of her in her home town of Grantham yet the Tories don’t.

Since the opposition is so keen to erect a statue to honour the Wicked Witch of the North, they are presumably in favour of also putting a statue up of her great Mate Jimmy Savile  in Leeds.

After all, according to Savile, he was  the one responsible for her becoming Prime Minister in the first place… Another in a long list of reasons for us to hate the perverted nonce cunt.

Still, no doubt Duddridge would also be in favour of a statue for Savile since he’s in favour of a State Funeral for Slaggy Maggie. Then again, he does list the old bitch as his hero – a fact that I personally find quite worrying.

In his letter, the useless ponce goes on to point out that Thatcher was the longest serving Prime Minister of the 20th century and the first female PM to boot… And I’d certainly like to fucking boot her.

So, with that kind of logic it wouldn’t surprise me if J D had also been in favour of a state funeral for Myra Hindley – Formerly Britain’s longest serving female prisoner and every bit as evil as Thatcher.

Duddridge then goes on to discuss my friends concerns about a paedophile ring allegedly once operating out of 10 Downing Street.

While writing about that paedophile ring , I noticed that the clueless cunt chose his words very carefully by saying that “there has been no substantial evidence to suggest that an aide to a former Prime Minister was involved, and this is a matter for the police to investigate”… Fucking idiot!

I’m not sure which former Prime Minister he is talking about since I can link paedophiles to all the British PM’s right back to and including Winston Rothschild-Churchill.

However, if Dud is referring to the Thatcher aide, Sir Paedo Morrison, then I suppose he is quite correct in saying that there is no substantial evidence to connect him to a Paedophile ring operating out of number 10. However, the smarmy MP must know that Morrison was a predatory paedophile, a fact that is now accepted as being true. Therefore, I can only assume that Duddridge thinks it okay that Mad Maggie was surrounded by paedophiles as long as they were not linked to a paedophile ring operating out of Maggies Den.

Course, I suppose there is quite substantial evidence to link the one time Thatcher aide Derek Laud to a paedophile ring, but once again, not the paedophile ring operating out of number 10… Once you learn the language of politicians, it isn’t hard to de-construct their claims.

In fact, when you talk in terms of Maggie’s nonce filled Cabinet, names that immediately spring to mind are Alistair McAlpine (still waiting for my letter  Mr Reid), Leon Brittan, Francis Maud, Peter Lilley, Alan Clark, Ken Clarke, and Michael Portillo, to name but a few… Yet  the Iron Lady was pure as the driven snow in Mr Duddridge’s eyes.

As for Jimmy D saying that the paedo ring is a matter for the police to investigate, this would appear to be the standard reply for all MP’s when given information about a scandal. This was evidenced by the number of replies sent back by MP’s when faced with the Grosskopf /NSPCC scandal. Course, all of the smarmy cunts know that they are talking bollocks by saying this, since 9 out of 10 times the matter has already been referred to the police as they dam well already know. After all, the police are just the ‘Cleaning’ branch of the government.

As far as I’m concerned, when receiving information of a high level/high profile crime, any MP worth his or her salt should request the evidence and then refer the matter to the Police themselves –  but I suppose that is far to much to expect of the useless, bent cunts.

Duddridge then moves on to the next point brought up by my friend; rebuilding trust in the political system. Duddridge, quite rightly points out that MP’s salary’s are now handled by the IPSA.

The IPSA was set up in 2009 following that years expenses scandal and since then has been criticised publicly by many MPs, including David Cameron, who told IPSA to “Get a grip”.

Criticism has been largely centred around the perceived high running costs of the IPSA, the inability of MPs to get through on the IPSA helpline, as well as their emails and letters going largely unanswered. Course, what gets to the ponces the most is the length of  time that the IPSA take to reimburse them their largely un-incurred expenses – Source Wikipedia.

The IPSA was set up based on recommendations contained in a report by Sir Christopher Kelly – A man, who whilst the chairman of the NSPCC, basically told 3 whistle blowers to fuck off when they informed him that their line manager was once a mass murderer.

The IPSA replaced  some of the functions previously undertaken by the House of Common’s Fees Office, including the Staff… A case then of; meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Since its introduction, despite mass opposition from a group of MP’s led by the midget Johnny ‘little legs’ Bercow, who campaigned to have their expenses made secret, the newly formed IPSA has unsurprisingly failed to stop the robbing cunts helping themselves to the public’s money.  This is evidenced by the Guardian who on the 6th of september 2012 published an article with the headline:

MPs’ expenses bill rises by a quarter to almost £90m: Dozens of iPads included in figure, which is now only slightly lower than before 2009 expenses scandal

I feel sure that by now you won’t be surprised to learn that Duddridge is also one of those MP’s who isn’t backwards at coming forwards for his share of the spoils. The following are all headlines from the Southend Echo:

Southend MP Duddridge switched London homes

TORY MP James Duddridge used public money to help furnish a London flat, then switched claims to help fund a different property in the capital.

Mr Duddridge, who represents Rochford and Southend East, spent about £7,000 renovating the apartment, then switched his second home claim to a new £397,500 flat.

Duddridge ‘refusing to face constituents’ at public meeting

TORY MP James Duddridge is refusing to hold a public meeting to explain his parliamentary expenses, according to party sources.

MP James had petty cash paid into his bank account

TORY MP James Duddridge was paid £7,000 in expenses directly into his personal bank account over three years.

From when he was elected in 2005, the money for petty cash claims was transferred to him, without him having to submit a receipt.

Mr Duddridge, the MP for Rochford and Southend East, was one of 60 MPs who asked the Commons authorities to wire a set amount of cash to them, or their offices, each month.

Between them, they received almost £290,000 over four years.

Duddridge spent £8,000 kitting out second home

MP JAMES Duddridge claimed more than £8,000 of taxpayers’ money kitting out and decorating his second home, when he was first elected as an MP.

The items he bought included a radio at £79, just under £230 in one store for kitchen.

Duddridge buys books on poverty and digital camera

Under incidental expenses, the Tory member for Rochford and Southend East claimed £25 for three books from the Amazon website. He also claimed £236 for camera equipment, including a Sony model, costing £136.

Mr Duddridge claimed £249 for an in-car hands-free kit from a shop in Thorpe Bay, but has not made any claims under petty cash.

He claimed £37,715 for services from two Parliamentary support services for MPs.

I regret redecorating my second home: Duddridge

TORY MP James Duddridge has said, in hindsight, he would not have had redecoration work done at his second home in London.

The MP for Rochford and Southend East said he claimed £7,000 under the second home allowance in 2007/8 for house repairs.

This included £2,000 for essential repairs to a roof at his first flat, which he designated as his second home. He also says he spent £2,000 on laminate flooring and £3,000 to have the flat repainted.

But then he bought another flat and designated that as his second home. He now rents the first flat out.

Learn lesson over expenses scandal, says Essex MP

A FRUGAL MP has said politicians must “learn lessons” from public outrage over outlandish expenses claims.

Mark Francois, the Tory MP for Rayleigh and Wickford, has claimed back just £15,283 over the last 18 months, including not a single penny on accommodation or travel.

In contrast, the Echo has revealed over the last few days how Conservative colleagues David Amess (Southend West), James Duddridge (Rochford and Southend East) and John Baron (Basildon andBillericay) have recouped nearly twice that amount over the same period, with large sums spent on taxis to and from London, overnight hotels in the capital and trips abroad.

MPs’ shameful vote on info Bill

It is shameful MPs such as James Duddridge have sought to protect their own interests by excluding themselves from the Freedom of Information Act. To say it is about protecting constituents’ interests is ludicrous.

I believe it is more about hiding how much of the taxpayers’ money they waste.

If they were really concerned about protecting their constituents, they could exempt any constituent correspondence from the Act.

Not really the way to gain back public trust, is it Duddridge?

I do believe that James the Joke is also another of those robbing toe-rag MP’s who ’employs’ the wife as ‘office’ staff. If he doesn’t now, he certainly used to anyway.

Unsurprisingly, the greedy bastard also shares the same view as his Tory colleague Iain Dickhead Smith, in that the majority of  those on sickness benefit are scrounging layabouts who are quite capable of work:

Drain on society

Southend East MP James Duddridge says there are massive levels of people claiming incapacity benefits and the majority are able to work, (Source: Southend Echo, Feb 15).

This is despite the fact that there are at least 25 people unemployed for every job that becomes vacant in the Southend area… The man’s just a fucking pest isn’t he?

Course, it’s a different story when it comes down to the Westminster Puppet Show wanting their something for nothing. The following is a look at how greedy guts Duddridge set about the task of claiming his expenses with relish as soon as he became an MP:

I have been investigating the finances of my local MP James Duddridge and these are my findings:

Back in 2005 he became the MP for Southend East and lived in a property which he bought back in 2001.  As soon as he became an MP he started to claim expenses from the taxpayer to pay off the interest rates of the mortgage at a monthly sum of £873.  He also took little time in claiming £6619 to get the premises redecorated.  Realising that he could get a house for free, in 2006 he bought a property for which he straight away started claiming £1585 a month in expenses to pay the mortgage interest payments.  

When the expenses scandal broke in 2009 a number of changes occurred to what MPs could claim in regards to accommodation.  Now that it was not possible to get a house for free, Duddridge decided that he would commute from Southend to Parliament even though when I questioned him back in 2009 he told me that it was essential for him to stay in London throughout the week so that he could do his job as an MP effectively.  In the period of 2006-09 he claimed a total of over £53000 in order to purchase the second property.  He has now decided to rent out the two above mentioned properties on a commercial basis.  

With the taxpayer contributing to the majority of the payments for the second property you would have thought that an equal percentage of the profit from the rental income he receives would be refunded to the taxpayer.  Of course, this is not the case.  This means that he has turned the expenses that have been paid by the taxpayer to him into a profitable commercial venture.

My question is:  How can this be acceptable?  When the MPs were told to stop claiming unreasonable amounts of taxpayers money via their expenses that did not mean that they could then use what they had gained to make more money.  Surely if what they were doing was wrong then we should get back what they took.

I have, therefore, filed a complaint to the Compliance Officer of the Parliamentary Standards Authority, demanding the correct percentage of the rent Duddridge receives is paid back directly to the taxpayer or the property is sold and the correct percentage of the value of the property is paid back to the taxpayer. SOURCE

As for that 5% pay cut that the skidmark mentions in his letter!

Duddridge makes it sound almost like he proposed it. Never mind that he didn’t have a choice in the matter.

Still he was hardly on the breadline that year, what with his Salary being just over £143 Grand.

Do you feel sorry for the cunt yet?

I certainly don’t.

The scrounging fraudster is taking that money under false pretences since he does  fuck all to earn it. Fuck me! he can’t even be arsed to acknowledge my E-mails – which, I hasten to add are always polite and void of any swear words.

Jim Nice But Dim then goes on to say that the government does understand and empathise with the situation  families up and down the country face.

As if the fucking thieving rich cunts do!

Still, I love this next bit because he then says, “thats why Ministers are helping hard working families to deal with the cost of living by preventing Fuel Duty and Rail Fare increases”… Is that cunt for real?  I’m sure a single Mother struggling to feed her kids welcomes that news… What a fucking piss taking Moron.

Never the less, fuel duty may very well not be going up – but the price of fuel certainly is. Just like everything else is in fact. Moreover, the Guardian newspaper ran an article last year, on this very same subject. The following is taken from that article: :

We’ve never had it so bad: how Breadline Britain has been hit

The latest inflation figures show that many of the items that form the biggest parts of our spending have increased in real terms. Just between March and April:

• transport: up by 1.2%. Petrol prices went up by 3.2 pence per litre on the month to reach a record £1.42 per litre. Diesel prices rose by 2.1 pence per litre to also reach a record level of around £1.48 per litre
• Housing costs: prices rose by 0.9% between March and April.The ONS says the big increase was in rents – and for other services
• Alcoholic beverages & tobacco: the increase in excise duties that came into force towards the end of March means prices rising by 2.9%, with tobacco up by 5.1%
• Clothing & footwear: only went up by 0.2% between – but rose by 1.3% between the same two months a year ago.

Fuel prices are also at a record high. The energy regulator OFGEM publishes this weekly energy update, which shows the typical dual fuel energy bill in May at £1,310 a year – up by 12% on 2011 from £1,170. That’s three times the rate of inflation. In May 2008, the average was £995, caused mainly by high wholesale energy costs…

So, add that to all the people losing their jobs, those already on benefits and those poor souls with terminal illness’s being made to go back to work, and I can’t see much empathy from where I’m standing.

But still it gets better.

I say that  because James No Blames then goes on to say that “I would like to reassure you that the introduction of Universal Credit will see the number of children living in income poverty reduced by around 250,000”.

Bravo James, Bravo, you CUNT.

This is what the Daily Mirror had to say about Universal Credit on the 11 Dec 2012:

Stuff the workers: Osborne mugs 1.7m breadwinners with Tory welfare reforms

The out-of-touch Government has admitted that 2.8 million people will be left worse off following the introduction of their new flagship Universal Credit scheme 

Of those, some 300,000 families will lose more than £300 a month – or £3,600 a year. The majority of the losers will be homes with someone in work, hit by changes to the working tax credit system.

As well as targeting the poorest, single parents will also see an average reduction of almost £90 a month. Under the new scheme a staggering 900,000 lone parents will be worse off.

Shadow Work and Pensions Secretary Liam Byrne said: “Universal Credit is now set to be a car crash for 2.8 million people. It’s now clear the Government is using Universal Credit to lock in a ‘strivers’ tax’.”

In a further blow to working families, Labour figures yesterday showed the average household with one person in work will be £534 a year worse off by 2015 due to measures announced by the Chancellor.

Did you get that Jimmy D?

That is your 250,00 kids better off versus 2,800,000 worse off. Count the fucking digits you brain-dead, disease infested, cockroach… Why the fuck are we still putting up with cunts like this?

After trying to patronise, not to mention bullshit my friend about Universal Credit, the smarmy half wit then tries to convince her that the government are targeting the rich by quoting the 7% increase in stamp duty on “the most expensive properties”…  There’s no two ways about it I’m afraid. The pox infested snake needs a fucking good slap.

Here’s why.

Stamp duty applies to when a person sells their home. The new 7% rate only applies on homes being sold for over £2million. Anyone with that kind of money isn’t going to worry about the new 7% rate… They will do what all rich cunts do and simply not pay it.

The following is from an article in the Financial Times that was published on the 2nd of December 2012 – long before Jimmy The Skidmark wrote his reply letter:

The number of schemes used to avoid stamp duty has doubled since the Treasury increased the rate for the UK’s most expensive homes in March, highlighting the extent of the challenge it faces in its high profile clampdown on tax avoidance.

Ten new stamp duty avoidance schemes were reported to Revenue & Customs during six months to November, double the number reported in the six months before March’s Budget, according to research from law firm Pinsent Masons.

The surge in new avoidance schemes is a response to the government’s increasing from 5 to 7 per cent the rate payable on houses worth more than £2m and introducing a 15 per cent charge on properties bought through companies.

The disregard for the rules is a blow to George Osborne, chancellor, who has been vociferous in his commitment to punish “morally repugnant” people who use loopholes to exploit weakness in the property tax system. Source

As for the new cap on income tax relief, PFFFTTT. The cap certainly won’t affect the super rich. It will however impact upon small buisnesses. The following is from Grant Thornton

Small businesses to feel the impact

So, with the charitable sector succeeding in its campaign to keep unlimited tax relief for charitable giving, who will be affected by the cap?

According to exchequer secretary to the Treasury David Gauke’s foreword to the consultation: “Wealthy individuals should not be able to reduce their income tax bills to zero, year after year by using these income tax reliefs to excess.”

The Government’s target is clear. It believes that it is unfair for wealthy individuals are able to pay little or no income tax each year through the use of income tax reliefs. But I suspect that these wealthy individuals will not be the only ones affected.

The level of the cap will be set at £50,000 or 25% of an individual’s income, whichever is greater. The cap could, therefore, affect anyone with an income of more than £50,000. Indeed, the tax impact assessment, contained within the consultation, confirms that “the cap is likely to have some limited impacts on small businesses”.

Given the current state of the economy, this is not good news.

So, once again, Duddridge is talking like a cunt.

Jim, Jim, lets All Hit Him, then tells a real whopper by saying that the Cunt Cameron has always been honest with the British People…


Cameron couldn’t be fucking honest if he fucking tried. Here is just one of the many blatant lies the cunt has told:

Anyone that remembers the details of the 2010 General Election campaign would attest that David Cameron is a barefaced liar, who will say literally anything if he thinks it may work to his political advantage. For those with short memories, and those that don’t really pay attention to politics but stumbled across this page accidentally, here are two of Cameron’s most oft cited pre-election porkies.

“We’ll cut the deficit, not the NHS”

Which was swiftly followed by a £20 billion NHS budget cut once the Tories got into power.


By now, I hope that it is blatantly obvious that there is no end to the shit that spews from Jimmy D’s mouth. It is also quite obvious that he is banking on my friend not listening to the news or reading the papers, because he then states that Cameron has cut the deficit by a quarter.

These wanker’s in power make me want to fucking puke.

Despite all of the austerity measures that are now heaping misery on millions, Cameron has still managed to raise the National Debt from £811.3 Billion to a staggering £1.1 Trillion.

The Labour party were in fact, so incensed with the Prime Ministers lie that they have reported him to the chair of the UK Statistics Authority. The following are extracts from the New Statesmen website:

In last night’s Conservative Party political broadcast, David Cameron boasted that the coalition “was paying down Britain’s debts”. Except, of course, it’s not. Since Cameron entered office, the national debt has risen from £811.3bn (55.3 per cent of GDP) to £1.11trn (70.7 per cent of GDP) and, owing to the lack of growth, the government is set to borrow billions more than Labour planned (the plan Cameron claimed would “bankrupt” Britain).

In response, Labour’s shadow chief secretary to the Treasury Rachel Reeves, a former Bank of England economist, has written to the chair of the UK Statistics Authority, Andrew Dilnot, asking him to investigate Cameron’s misleading statement. It’s worth noting that the Stats Authority haspreviously forced the Conservatives to correct their claim to have increased real-terms spending on the NHS “in each of the last two years”, so there’s a good chance of a critical response. 

Read More

And then there is this from an article in the Huffington Post written by the Economist Ramesh Patel:

David Cameron would like people to believe the markets lend in the same way as retail banks lend to you and I.

Overall, when the facts and figures are put into context these juvenile deficit narratives and sound bites (“mere words and no evidence”) simply fail to stand up to the actual facts. The deficit myth is the grosses lie ever enforced upon the people and it has been sold by exploiting people’s economic illiteracy.

So, David Cameron when are you going to apologise?

Cameron is playing the blame game to depress confidence and growth to justify austerity. Secondly, to use austerity as justification for a smaller state to gain lower taxes. Thirdly, to paint Labour as a party that can not be trusted with the country’s finances again. Therefore, we Conservatives will win a second term because, people vote out of fear. The latter strategy worked the last time in office (18 years) and will work again because, in the end, elections are won and lost on economic credibility. Hence, as people believe Labour created the mess they won’t be trusted again.

Finally, as the truth is the greatest enemy of the a lie I urge you to share this on Facebook, Twitter, blogs, text and email etc etc. So the truth can be discovered by all. Finally, have no doubt, people have been mislead by the use of the following strategy:

“If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it” Joseph Goebbels

As for the old bollocks about a million jobs being created in the Private Sector? … Duddridge, you have a Donkeys Testicle for a brain.

Here is what the Ayes to the left website has to say on the matter:

In his address to the Tory party conference Wednesday 10th October 2012, Cameron claimed that his government had created over one million jobs in the private sector, this is a complete lie and a complete fabrication and misrepresentation of the truth.


  • Around 200,000 of that million are straight forward reclassification of people who work in further education and have simply been reclassified from public sector workers to private sector workers.
  • Hundreds of thousands more are part time workers; temporary workers; self employed; under employed.


Cameron, Osborne and Clegg have destroyed more then 500,000 public sector workers (police, nurses, midwives, teachers, teaching assistants, lolly pop ladies, caretakers, elderly care wardens, educational welfare officers, family liaison officers, social workers etc etc) and there is another half a million to follow, and on top of that Osborne has announced another £16bn in cuts, which will greatly impinge not only on the weakest, poorest, disabled and unemployed etc, it will heavily impinge of the staff employed in our vital services, which means disruption of services in YOUR schools – YOUR hospitals – YOUR elderly care – YOUR local public services and YOUR local economy.

Don’t be taken in by Cameron and his lies and deliberate misleading and misrepresentation and do not be fooled, look at every thing he and this lying hideous government say and understand it for exactly what it is – Disinformation.

Disinformation Defined – Deliberately misleading information announced publicly or leaked by a government in order to influence public opinion.

And then the cocky smug arse clinker has the cheek to thank my friend for contacting him before signing of with ‘yours sincerely’.

Hmmm, I think his sincerity has shown him up for the lying useless cunt that he really is. Fuck off you odious, charmless fanny wipe.

James Duddridge! You are without a doubt, my Mug of the Month.

Now, before I fuck off, if you have enjoyed this article please consider making a small donation. Unlike our MP’s I cant help myself to your money. And unlike our MP’s I am skint… Thank you kindly.

Until the next time,