By Hook Or Albanian Crook


Christopher Spivey

I really do think that the Chimp-Hackz would be better suited as script writers for Hollyoaks or some other shit soap opera rather than journalists for a national newspaper.

After all, soap operas depend on outlandish story lines but a national newspaper should not. Yet the Monkey-Boyz appear to thrive on making their made up shite as bizarre as possible.

I mean take the stabbing to death of Rambo the Romanian bouncer which I reported on in my last article. Now if you have read that article you will know that the story went from the sublime to the ridiculous and ended up with Rambo supposedly being stabbed to death by the son of radical hate preacher, Abu Hamza.

Yet that has all changed and it now seems that it wasn’t Captain Hook’s boy who done it – it was the fucking Albanians:

The doorman stabbed to death outside a New Year’s Eve sex party hosted by ‘Fast’ Eddie Davenport in Mayfair was an innocent casualty of a vicious gang turf war, according to a source close to the notorious fraudster.

You will note that the Chimp is now openly describing the bash as a “sex party” and the host – Lord Davenport – has now been given the unimaginative nickname of “Fast Eddie“… Wankers.

Tudor Simionov, 33, was hailed a hero after he valiantly fought off up to nine gatecrashers outside the £12.5 million townhouse in Mayfair, Central London, in the early hours before being stabbed in the chest.

Course, he was only hailed a “hero” by the Monkey-Kuntz themselves who tend to brand any Tom, Dick or Harry a hero when they are making the narrative up.

An insider told The Mail on Sunday the attackers were gangsters who arrived at the party with the intention of extorting money from pimps, prostitutes and drug-dealers inside.

You can’t go wrong with an “insider” (no comebacks on the lies see), although quite how these “gangsters” intended to “extort money” from the obviously numerous “pimps, prostitutes and drug dealers inside” is beyond me!

The men, believed to be Albanian, are said to be waging a battle with rival gangs to control London’s vice trade.

Now like I said in my last article on this subject, usually the Monkey-Kuntz brand ALL Eastern Europeans as cut throat killers & rapists but it is a bit hard for them to do so in this old bollox having already made out that Rambo the Romanian is a hero who just wanted a better life for himself and his family.

Therefore, for the purposes of this made up shite, the monsters are Albanians, not Romanians.

Course, you have to ask yourself how Abu Hamza’s son came to be arrested for the old bollox in the first place since he is a Muslim, not an Albanian.

Or put another way, in the Chimp’s world Muslims are all Terrapins and Eastern Europeans are all cut throat rapists – except for Romanians who are lovely… On this occasion at least.

Mind you, details of how Hamza Jr came to be questioned about the murder in the first place are obviously unimportant to the shit-rag. I mean all that matters to the cunts is that the damage has now been done, more race hatred has been achieved against the Muslims, so move on and vilify the Eastern Europeans by completely changing the story… Roger that:

The source said notorious fraudster ‘Lord’ Davenport was behind the party and had ‘bitten off more than he could chew’.

Davenport, 53, who made his name running ‘Gatecrasher’ balls for public school pupils, was given an eight-year jail term in September 2011 for a £4.5 million fraud.

The insider, who did not wish to be named, said: ‘The attack was not as random as it seemed and these weren’t just New Year’s gatecrashers – these were people after a cut of the action.

Yeah well lets be honest, that “gatecrasher” theory never really worked when the gatecrasher in question was the son of a hard line Muslim… Carry on:

‘They were arguing about territory and turf. The men were not going into the party for Eddie – he has just been caught in the middle.

‘Eddie has got caught up in an evil gang turf war – his parties are extremely murky and attract some very seedy people. The pimps who supply the women make £3,000 a night from the prostitutes – they guard their assets zealously.

‘There were also drugs, which are obviously hugely profitable.

‘Eddie is playing a dangerous game – when he came out of prison he should have stepped away from the debauched sex parties.’

You will note that this “insider” is not being quoted directly which is strange since he is supposedly being directly interviewed by a Monkey-Kunt.

The source said the body of a decapitated bird was once left on the doorstep of Davenport’s home as a warning.

Fair do’s although I am not really sure what that has got to do with the Albanians but gerron w’it:

They said: ‘He received death threats from a big West End gang but, if he was scared, he did not show it. He can make as much as £50,000 a night from these parties – and he should be worried that that can make you a target.’

Was that “big West End” gang made up of Albanians? But then again, that is unimportant because to the Chimp, careful wording and insinuation is as good as fact:

An employee at the event revealed that sex parties are regularly hosted at the property, where guests pay up to £500 to hire a bedroom. 

And once again we see another twist here since the venue originally started out as upper-class student digs. Yet how many bedrooms can the fucking place have?

They said party-goers can pay £3,000 for access to the venue, where drug-fuelled sex parties often run until 8am.

So, we are now suppose to believe that people will pay a £3000 entrance fee, £500 for a bedroom, plus the cost of their drugs & drink while rubbing shoulders with the seediest people imaginable… Fair enough.

Security guard Mr Simionov moved to London from Romania only two months ago in search of a ‘better life’. Two other security staff, aged 37 and 29, and a woman, 29, were also attacked with knives.

Yes we get it… Rambo was the salt of the earth:

Davenport’s lawyer has insisted he did not organise the party, nor take money from guests, but did not confirm whether he was in attendance.

A son of radical preacher Abu Hamza, Imran Mostafa Kamel, 26, has been charged with possession of a firearm following an investigation into events at the party and he has been questioned over the murder. Source

So how did the Chimp get it so wrong? Answer: They didn’t. It is just another fake story designed to increase racial tension and raise robotic support for a total ban on knives… Good luck with that.

However, to my mind the Chimp should indeed be asking probing questions about Abu Hamza such as; how does he wipe his arse in prison with no hands?

Fuck me, he must smell arsey.

Course, those in the National Press all believe that we are total fucking idiots.

In fact just last week I received an email from the Sun in regard to my book: Meghan Markle Exposed:

Now, if you cannot read that, it says:

Hi Christopher,

I spotted your book about Meghan on Amazon. I was wondering if you’d be able to send us a copy for us to read here at The Sun to see if we could use any content. Would you be interested in publicity?

Many thanks 

So, straight away I am suppose to believe that this Lydia Major bird was just casually perusing the millions of books available to buy on Amazon when she just so happened to stumble across my book on Meghan Markle.

I am then left to suppose that having read the free preview, Lydia thought to herself: “Hmmm, perhaps there is some content here that we can use in our otherwise total bullshit shit rag“.

Lydia then quite obviously plucked my email address out of thin air and contacted me without ever realising the number of times that her shit-rag newspaper had previously blatantly slandered me.

And of course, in the belief that I am a total fucking idiot, she dangled the carrot by asking me if I would be interested in the publicity.

Nevertheless, there is no such thing as bad publicity unless you are a paedophile politician and as such I wrote back:

Hi Lydia.
Unfortunately I do not keep any copies of my books as all the printing is done by Amazon. That said, I am sure that your newspaper can afford to buy a copy. After all, the eBook is only £7.

Regards,Christopher Spivey.

To which she replied, quite tersely I may add:

OK – thanks Christopher

So, I can only assume that £7 is too much money for her shit-rag to fork out on real news. You can however buy the book for yourself HERE

Just sayin’.

Finally, I will remind you that the crippling monthly site fees are due on the 9th.

Just sayin’… Again.