All I Said Was…

Christopher Spivey

I have known for a long time that we humans are fucked as a species, but a tongue-in-cheek status that I posted on Facebook a few days ago really hammered it home as to just how right I am about that fact.

I mean, in these fucked up times it is vital that we all retain a sense of humour and not take things too seriously, but that obviously is not the case as the status in question bears testament to.



Now, I should tell you that my Facebook friends list is made up of around 75% of people who have added me because of this here website and as such, you would expect them to be clued up… But ohhh noooo – not by a long chalk… Not in the case of many of them anyway.

In fact I call them ‘conspiracy theorists‘.

That is because – as you all probably know – the term ‘conspiracy theorist’ was coined by the CIA to discredit critical thinkers and I use it in the same derogatory way towards those who blindly believe and repeat parrot fashion, whatever old bollox they read in the ‘Alternative Media’.

Indeed, to my way of thinking, there is little difference between these ‘awake-fools’ and the mindless masses who blindly believe and repeat parrot fashion whatever old bollox they read in the MSM.

Nevertheless, another 20% of those on my Facebook friends list are those left over from when I was a Tattoo Artist & Body Piercer and the remaining 5% are real friends and family.

Now, all I said was:

“I fucking love scrolling down my Facebook news-feed… Every day is the same old same old, but funny as fuck:

Conspiracy theorists almost coming in their pants at the thought that they might have got something right at last… Lose the ego mate, or you ain’t never going to be taken seriously.

Right wing racist thugs celebrating St George’s day… Despite the fact that St George was born in Turkey to a Greek father and Syrian mother, never stepped foot in England and never slayed a fucking dragon – bloody foreigners not coming over here and stealing our jobs.

People clapping like performing seals for the NHS staff who find the time to dance like clowns because they are less busy than they have ever been – stupid is, as stupid does… Do these happy-clapper idiots really think that all these nurses & doctors are coming into contact with Covid patients. The NHS is on it’s knees and has been for years.

People supporting Boris Johnson. A proven criminal, a proven liar and a proper lazy cunt with the morals of a sewer rat… Hark at you all clapping your own downfall.

Women around 25 yrs old with 4 or 5 kids via different fathers who wonder why they can’t find a decent man… Errr Helloooo!

People with the writing ability of an 8 year old trying to portray themselves as academics… Don’t run before you can walk. First learn the difference between ‘There’, ‘Their’ and ‘They’re’…

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world…

And fuck me, all hell broke lose. In fact after 400 comments on the post I am fair exhausted. You see, three of them OBSERVATIONS & one in particular upset certain members of ‘The Wide Awake Club‘ – another derogatory term that I use for conspiracy theorists… But can ya guess which one caused all the controversy?

However, before you do make your guess, make sure that you have read exactly what I have written as opposed to what you think that I have, because that is where a lot of the problems arose – and believe me, I am very, very careful about how I word everything that I write.

Actually, fuck the guessing or we could be here a long time, although you might like to make a guess and see if you were right at the end.

Nevertheless, before I tell you, I will point out that judging by the posts that I read on my Facebook news-feed, many on my friends list are happy-clappers and supporters of our “hero” Doctors & Nurses and other ‘key-workers’ in this time of crisis.

More upsetting still, there are those who are openly supporting Boris Johnson.

And as an aside, the lazy, fat, useless, hypocritical cunt is about to take ‘paternity leave’, despite publicly stating the following:

But all the same, congratulations Bojo on the [probably fake] birth of Wilbert, Gilbert, Dickhead or whatever it is that you have actually named the poor child.

However, thankfully those who were trumpeting on about St George’s day (predominantly closet racists) are mostly those left over from my Tattooing days.

Yet none of those three observations warranted a single comment! Well, that isn’t strictly true because there was one about St George, but that was a tongue-in-cheek remark (I think) asking me if I was sure that Georgie Boy never slayed a dragon:

“Never slayed a Dragon! Hmm, not sure about that. Sounds better though than St George and the Hamster”.

To which I replied “Yes I am sure, he never killed a Unicorn either“.

And I should also add that I choose to believe that the happy-clapping-dancing-clown supporters were too embarrassed to object to my observations… Although I did notice that around half a dozen ‘friends‘ deleted me – their loss, because you can be absolutely sure that I wasn’t the one to send them a friend request and the truth is often a bitter pill to have to swallow.

However, just to clarify that point, the reason that I do not send out friend requests is not because I am arrogant, it is because I am pretty anti-social and it also gives me the upper hand if someone decides to kick off.

After all, it is pretty safe to assume that anyone sending me a FB friend request will already know from reading my stuff what a cunt I am, so if they take objection to something I write, then the fact that they asked to be my friend in the first place puts them at a disadvantage… Understand?

Of course you fucking do.

And since I am in the process of getting rid of the idiots on my FB page any way (over 1500 gone so far) it is nice that they have saved me a job.

So, anyway, let me tell you in reverse order the three observations of mine which caused uproar.

In third place it was:

People with the writing ability of an 8 year old trying to portray themselves as academics… Don’t run before you can walk. First learn the difference between ‘There’, ‘Their’ and ‘They’re’.

Now, I left school at 16 years old, where I was in set 3 for English (which was more to do with me being a very naughty boy rather than me being thick as fuck), without a single qualification, yet I think that it is quite fair to say that I am reasonably literate.

And, as I have already said, I am always very careful about what I write and think things through before putting pen to paper.

Therefore, I was aware that my observation would spark the usual old bollox along the lines of: “WE ARE AT WAR, IT’S ALL ABOUT GETTING THE WORD OUT, NOT THE SPELLING THAT IS IMPORTANT“.

And at this juncture I should point out that that is a standard response from your run of the mill, illiterate ‘conspiracy theorist’, trying to sound like an academic – and to my way of thinking, that viewpoint of theirs is just total fuckin’ nonsense.

After all, those of us who can see further than the ends of our fucking noses already face an almighty struggle to convince the masses that we are being led into tyranny without them being able to ignore & dismiss us as just being uneducated mentalists… Which is how those who cannot string a sentence together come across as being.

Course, that response ALWAYS leads to the question: “How do you know that these people are not Dyslexic“.

Dog give me strength! In fact if that is the case then there must be an awful lot of Dyslexics on my fucking friends list… However, it is a fact that Dyslexic’s are not thick and since ALL computers have a ‘spell checker’ on them, there is no excuse for bad spelling… And not knowing the difference between “There”, “Their” & “They’re” or “To”, “Too” & “Two” and other such groups of words is more in line with someone being thick as pig shit rather than Dyslexic.

Either way, leave the writing to the those who can because those of you who can’t are just hindering the cause, not helping it – FACT.

And that brings me to the runner up that caused the 2nd amount of controversy in my FB post – namely:

Conspiracy theorists almost coming in their pants at the thought that they might have got something right at last… Lose the ego mate, or you ain’t never going to be taken seriously.

You see, it both pains me and makes me smile to see the alarming number of members of the ‘Wide Awake Club’ congratulating themselves on being right about this Covid-19 fake pandemic… Although I have to say that I have never, ever read a post of theirs that predicted it coming.

In fact each and every one of these narcissistic idiots belong under the banner of ‘conspiracy theorists‘… Sadly, they are too dumb to realise that there can be no pleasure in being correct about this shit and a gleeful “I told ya so” just makes them sound like cunts.

And once again, there were a couple of three who tried to take me to task on that observation, because they seemed to think that there is no harm in blowing your own trumpet before urging me to “band together” with these fuck-wits rather than criticise them… Course those who did pipe up are the self same idiots who are slapping themselves on the back for [possibly] being correct, whilst ignoring their past predictions that never came to fruition.

After all, if you make enough predictions one is bound to come true sooner or later, yet once again these ‘prophets’ are hindering the cause – not helping… No one likes a big head.

However, those attempting to take me to task over those two observations of mine were very few and not very vocal at all once I had put my own confrontational hat on.

In fact compared to the uproar that the winning observation caused, the other two are barely worthy of mention.

And the winner is… Drum roll please:

“Women around 25 yrs old with 4 or 5 kids via different fathers who wonder why they can’t find a decent man… Errr Helloooo!”.

Now by that I meant that the girls I am referring to are the equivalent of a fella willingly sticking his hands in a guillotine and then moaning that he cant tie his shoelaces.

But for some reason that observation was totally taken out of context and fuck me did the floodgates opened, with the hostility all coming from women… Which shows just how irrational some can be… that will get me in trouble now but it’s true nevertheless.

You see, instead of reading exactly what I wrote – which I stand 100% behind – these women began BLAMING me for attributing BLAME to young women with 4-6 kids being left on their own to bring up their babies, when I should in fact be looking to BLAME the “dead-beats’ who use and abuse them… Which has precisely fuck all to do with the observation that I made.

But honest to fucking dog the mental cows kept coming and coming and not in an orgasmic way.

I mean, it didn’t seem to matter that I tried to clarify the observation by saying that no DECENT man of around 25 yrs old with half decent looks and a job would ever take on a young bird with half a dozen kids under the age of 10 spawned by 3 or 4 different baby fathers… Simply because there are much better prospects to be had… Which is true.

And anyway, no mother would let their 25 year old son take on a tribe that wasn’t his. I mean can you imagine it:

Son: Hi mum, this is my new bird Mary and her 5 boys.

Mum: Hmmm and what are the children called?

Son: They are all called Wayne.

Mum: Huh? Well if Mary calls out for one in particular, how the fuck do the kids know which one she is referring to?

Son: Easy, she just calls the one she wants by his surname…

I then pointed out that these young mothers who the observation was aimed at need to understand the fact that they are not going to attract a decent fella and stop blaming their limited choices on everyone but themselves… Which didn’t seem to help – my bad.

Nevertheless, it all started with the following comment:

The shaming of young women with children is a bit uncomfortable. There’s two parents involved, but we’re still shaming women, who take the caring role.

Which I wasn’t doing… I was just pointing out that a handful of young women on my friends list are always moaning that all men are bastards whilst failing to understand that their poor lifestyle choices is the reason that they cannot attract a decent man – and as such they would be better off concentrating on raising their children until they are a lot older… At least to my mind they would.

Yet these women seem to think that they can have it all and immediately fall in love with the next loser who gives them a bit of old flannel and hey presto, they are pregnant again with number 5, 6 or 7… As is the case of one of the birds that I was referring to – twenty eight years old, 5 kids below the age of 10, pregnant with number 6 and still thinks that the only reason that she can’t get a decent fella is because “all men are bastards“.

Which is why I said “Errr Helloooo” after the observation.

But, instead of properly reading what I had written, I started to get shit like this:

Go fourth and multiply bible says! The problem is men taking the piss out of vulnerable women! Vaccine damaged people, many with health issues, learning disabilities, on the autism spectrum, women who may have been previously abused! The men seduce them, fill them with lies of love!! My heart goes out to the women! And don’t ever let it be said any silly prat can open her legs or pram face and all the other derogatory, sexist shit that’s used to abuse women! Not all women can carry, birth and bring up kids, it’s the hardest job in the world in this beast system! My heart goes out to all women and especially the beautiful single mothers 🤗🤗

I mean to say; where the fuck did that come from based on what I wrote?

Course, after that I got more of that kind of shit by the cunt bucket load – pun intended… And whilst that statement of hers may well be true – along with all the rest of the Mrs McMad’s comments that followed – it has absolutely fuck all to do with what I wrote in the first place, which as I say, these trainee harridans seemed completely unable to get through their thick heads.

Therefore, my point is if people cannot take the time to properly read something without jumping to conclusions, then we are properly fucked.

And neither did that above long winded, ill thought out comment have anything in common with the women my observation was aimed at. After all, those kind of women that she describes do not keep hold of their kids long enough to have 4 or 5 ankle biters.

Therefore, my point is if people cannot take the time to properly read something without jumping to conclusions, then we are properly fucked… Which we are.

In fact you only need to read about the huge number of people phoning the police on their neighbours to realise that fact:

Police say they have received 194,000 calls “snitching” on people alleged to have broken the coronavirus lockdown, and say the draconian measures are getting harder to for people to observe the longer they go on… Source

Beam me up Scotty.

Mind you, in view of the outrage that my off the cuff observation generated, it is a good job that I didn’t mention Captain Tom Moore – now promoted to Colonel.

I mean, if I had I would have probably pointed out that his hit single “You’ll Never Walk Alone” was very apt since he needs a zimmer frame to do so.

And woe betide me if I had then pointed out that Tom lives with his daughter & son-in-law who just so happen to be the director of a fund raising LTD COMPANY called MAYTRIX (matrix?), who set up the campaign page for the old boy.

Course, being a Ltd Company suggests that any fund raising that Maytix do means that they must either take a percentage or charge a fee for their services, especially since there are costs involved in putting on nearly all fund raising events… Not that I am saying that Tom’s daughter’s firm took a percentage of the £33 million Pounds that her company raised for the NHS, you understand… I’m just sayin’.

And finally, it goes without saying that if this article has offended anyone then those people should stop being so fucking sensitive and be aware that I sincerely could not give a fuck… The truth is often brutal. Besides, you cannot give offence, you can only take it.

Just sayin’… Again