A sort of Sunday Spiv


Christopher Spivey


Hi all and a happy Weirdy-Beardy-Man-In-The-Skyday to you all.

Unfortunately this is just an update and not a Spiv On Sunday… Although to be fair it is Sunday and I have written all of the following so it is sort of a Spiv On Sunday.

But don’t sweat the small stuff.

Now, first off I would once again like to sincerely thank all those of you who have donated, with an extra kiss from me to Antoinette, Joyce & Warren – all three of whom will know why.

Course, Ms Autumn Chandler also deserves a big Chrissy kiss too.

You see, unbeknownst to me Autumn took the bull by the horns and set up the Go-Fucking-Fund-Me page, which was subsequently taken down by the site administrators after a small – in every way – bunch of mental defectives maliciously complained about the site.

Indeed, the fact that they did – no doubt to curry favour with their paedophile employers – goes to show you just how deranged they are.

Course, as well as lick-arsing their perverse pay-masters, the cringe-inducing-creepy-crawly-weirdos were doubtlessly also motivated by jealousy.

Jealousy was noted by some clever bod or other as being a mental cancer and without a shadow of doubt, when that Go-Fucking-Fund-Me (GFFM) page took off it must have shriveled the peanut sized balls, common to these mentally unbalanced, sexual deviants down to the size of those belonging to a gnat.

In fact I would imagine that the impotent, tiny, weird looking, foreman troll-like thingy scratched his scrawny, worthless neck red raw with his bony woman type finger once the donations started to flood in.

Yet the warped-warblers in their deluded-dirty-miniature-minds seem to think that they have pulled off some kind of master coup – talk about a special kind of stupid!

You see, in reality the kiddie-fiddling-fruit-loops pathetic actions only served as a minor irritation to me since I had no idea whatsoever that Autumn had set the page up and even then it was only up and running for 24 hours.

And with that being the case, at the time I hadn’t been relying on the money raised to help sort out the malicious court costs thrust upon my good self.

Therefore, initially those donations represented an unexpected – albeit very welcome – further injection of cash.

Oh and just so as you know, y’know, I can also confirm that Autumn should by now be in receipt of those much needed funds from that page – or at worst she will be by the end of days play for the American robbing bastard website… So, another big thank you very much to all those of you who donated there.

Did you clock it? One Hundred & Forty Five Pounds the robbing cunts took, despite the fact that they were the ones who terminated the GFFM page!

Indeed, quite ironically they did so on the premise that:

“your campaign is in violation of this line from our Terms & Conditions: “the defense or support of anyone alleged to be involved in criminal activity”

So all I have to say to that nonsense is Sick Benefit

Whats more, I do believe that Autumn is now in the process of setting up another donation page with a rival website to GFFM – which is obviously much appreciated.

Now as I have just said; the nonce-trollopes only succeeded in causing me a minor irritation with their malicious, vindictive, mentally fucked-up actions, because when the GFFM effort reached a Thousand Squids, a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

And the reason for that is there had also been over £1000 donated to my PayPal account via the donate button on this website which meant that with the £1000 donated on the GFFM page, I could pay the [possibly unlawful] first lot of Prosecution Costs (£2080) – which was what the Arrest-Without-Bail Warrant was issued for on the 13th of January 2017.

Now I will remind you that the £2080 in question didn’t become due until after the appeal which didn’t start until the 16th of January 2017 and ended on the 20th.

Therefore, what should have happened once the appeal was over on the 20th is that I should have been notified by post that the £2080 Squids was now payable along with the other £2000 Squids maliciously – and probably unlawfully – slapped on me at the end of the appeal… Which in the case of the latter Two Grand, a notification via the Royal Mail did indeed drop through my letter box a week later.

And had I ignored that notice, then 14 days after doing so, the courts would be entitled to issue a warrant (with scope for bail) for my arrest.

Yet the fact that the warrant was prematurely issued on the 13th of January 2017 indicated to me that the Monster Minions were up to more skulduggery – especially since I had not been sent any notifications informing me that they were pursuing the money prior to the Warrant being issued.

Therefore before I was aware of Autumn’s GFFM page, the need for me to come up with the whole £2080 in time for the court date scheduled for Friday, February 17th at 9:30AM became a real problem.

After all, if they were planning on banging me up via default, then the only sure fire way to thwart any insidious plans that they may have had lined up for me was to make sure that I had the full amount.

And it’s okay any of you lot thinking that they wouldn’t be allowed to get away with banging me up for the weekend, but the reality of the situation is that they can and do, do whatever the fuck they please… Until we put a stop to it.

Meantime, the other £2000 in prosecution costs wasn’t due for another 7 days and since I was in contact with the Court Fines Department anyway, they couldn’t use that Two Grand as an excuse to bang me up either.

But here is the thing that the likes of that weirdo wannabee hard-man, come professional carrot cruncher, Rancid Eddie Boil – or whatever the big mouthed toad’s fucking name is – fail to grasp. And that is the fact that the GFFM page set up by Autumn didn’t take off until Thursday night and since I was due in court at 9:30AM the next morning, she wouldn’t have been able to get the £1000 to me in time come hell or high water.

Oh, and as an aside someone really ought to tell that red-faced, pug ugly, half-wit, Rancid Eddie that I am running out of court cases for him to come and bash me on the nose at… The under-cooked doughnut really is like a broken record, yet have you seen the streak of piss?

There is absolutely fuck all of him. If he turned sideways on you would think that he’d fucked off home or something… Although I’m not sure which haystack he lives in.

And fuck me – which I rather think is what the buck-toothed prattypuss wants to do given his obsession with me – he’s that fucking ugly & gormless looking that he ought to be made to have a government health warning stamped across his sloping forehead!

But I digress. Now the situation was such that I was always going to have to use the money that had been donated on here to contribute to the prosecution costs that they stuck on me, along with the money I had set aside for my car tax, & MOT – both due at the end of this month – along with another bit of cash that I had stashed for the few bits of work needing doing on the old motor to get it through the test.

However, that still left me a good way short of £2080, along with the fact that I would have had no money left to live on.

Therefore, I had arranged a cash loan from someone who wishes to remain anonymous, which was to be paid back when Autumn forwarded me the £1000 minimum from the GFFM page… Which now means that the person who advanced me the cash has had to wait a few days longer than anticipated for his money back.

Yet that is the only consequence of Nonce & Co’s fucked-up actions which as I say, was brought about by their strange need to bow-down to their nonce-masters and fueled by the jealousy induced mouth foaming brought about by the fact that no one is ever going to care enough about the Loony-Toon-Deviants to donate so much as a turd to help them.

And it is in fact that delay in being able to pay the loan back that is the source of the minor irritation that Daffy Deviant & the Trollope’s have caused me – although the fella assures me that he isn’t concerned about the wait and as an added bonus, the fact the way the money was flooding in to the GFFM page must have driven the slug-mug trolls festering inferiority complexes off the fucking scale…Which is nice.

As for the court day itself?

Well the fact that I had the full £2080 Squids meant that I didn’t even have to step into a Court Room. Instead I just liaised with the Court-Usher, who in turn liaised with the Fines-Officer, who – having seen the means form that the Usher had me fill in – is now deciding whether to work out a payment plan or refer the matter back to court on the grounds that I cannot reasonably be expected to pay such a large amount.

Indeed, although I do not trust any of these people, the truth is that on the surface of things, they could not have been more accommodating towards me.

However, the fact still remains that the site simply cannot continue to limp along on a wing and a prayer whilst all the while I slowly drown in ever increasing mounting debts – which currently total over £3000 plus the £2000 prosecution costs still outstanding.

Indeed, I really shouldn’t have to be constantly worrying about whether I can afford food for my dogs let alone for myself, week in week out, whilst sat in my coat, slogging my bollocks off every waking hour of the day – which will sooner or later lead to the paedo-infested-corrupt-squad battering down my front door again in order to arrest me on some trumped-up charge or other, doubtlessly backed by more fabricated evidence.

I’m not Goosey, Goosey Ghandi don’t cha know.

On the other hand, I feel that I have worked far too long and hard to just see all my efforts go to waste… And besides, I have so much more to tell you yet and after this past week it has become blatantly obvious to me that you are in fact taking notice of what I write and I still have a phenomenal army of loyal supporters.

So here is what has been taking place over the course of the past month.

I was approached by a long time reader of mine named Gary, who voiced a proposition for which he is convinced will – at worst – ease the financial pressure that I am constantly under.

So, after working out the details Gary has been busy setting up a sales outlet and what-not with the aim of converting the vast majority of the articles that I have written on here into eBooks – along with all future articles that I fully intend to write… After all, I am fucked if I am going back onto building sites at my age and I haven’t got the enthusiasm to try and build up a new clientele of people wanting tattoos.

Moreover, this new off-shoot will ensure that all of my hard work will not be lost should this website become inaccessible when – or if – I cannot pay the £300 monthly bill, whilst at the same time, hopefully giving me an initial cash injection and some form of extra income there after.

There is also going to be a “savings jar” in which a third of all revenue from the eBooks will be deposited in order to either pay this website’s monthly fees should there be short fall in your donations for any given month and/or to help keep me out of debt.

Moreover, the eBooks are going to be marketed to a far wider audience than just those who visit this site which – all things being equal – should in turn lead to even more site traffic… Which has to be a good thing.

Course, I know nothing about that side of things whereas Gary is very adept in web marketing… Thus this new venture will not impact on the time that I spend writing.

In fact the only downside to you the reader is that the major articles that I write will now go up for sale a month before they get published on here.

So, if you are interested you can subscribe for free to the new eBook outlet at the following link:


However, the books are not on sale yet – although the first ones will be by Tuesday the latest and they are only on sale for a very nominal sum although all major new works will cost a couple of quid extra obviously.

Moreover, as it happens I am hoping to have completed the first major new article by the end of the coming week at the latest… Which is going to be a cracker even if I do say so myself… And I do.

That one will be followed very shortly afterwards by the third and final installment of the Diana Trilogy… And of course there will be new content still added on here to keep you entertained.

Now I cannot stress enough that this really is the last chance saloon for keeping this website going in its present form and as such I sincerely hope that I can rely on your support.

Should you choose not to do so, then I’m afraid to say that the only viable option open to me is to turn this into a pay-per-view site – something which I really and truly do not want to have to do – although I am sure that those who donate regularly will not object since most who do will find the cost a lot less than they are forking out now to keep the site going.

But let’s not dwell on that matter just yet because as I say, I am really hoping that such drastic action will not be necessary, although things really, really are that critical I’m sorry to say.

Mind you, the thought of the nonce-ponce-brigade having to fork out to be ignored does have it’s merits.

Nuff Sed… Now lets all go point & laugh at the Bonkers-Conkers-Dribble-Lipped-Trollopes shall we?


Update: The new Go-Get-Some-Fucking-Funding page set up by Autumn is now live and which you can find by clicking HERE… And if you ask me, it’s gotta be worth donating a few bob just to watch the Paedo-Trolls have a melt down… Just sayin’.

Christophers Right To Free Speech