A Chop & Burn Cr-ISIS


Spiv & Chimps


Just when are our Government scriptwriters going to end this ISIS bollocks?

I mean surely the daft cunts must be on drugs?

And anyone who actually believes the absolute bollocks needs a swift, hard, kick in them.

I mean, just today alone half of the stories on the Chimps website are about the CIA created ‘demons‘.

Yet fuck me, the men in black were unheard of a couple of years ago until they started helping themselves to Iraqi Oil Refineries and making millions of Dollars a day by selling the oil – Who bought the fucking oil?

Why were these buyers not targeted for funding terrorism?

I will tell you who bought the oil. No Cunt that’s who.

Fuck me, the UK and USA has spent 14 years and Trillions of taxpayers Pounds & Dollars raping the fucking country… Do you really think that we would just let the made up baddamen get that powerful and that big?

But not content with Iraq, the apparently – according to the MSM – half witted ISIS leader, Al Baghdadi Fag Daddy decides that he will have a bit of Syria… A country where buoyed by their success in Libya, the UK and the USA have armed thousands of Syrian Rebels (note not terrorists) to the tune of millions of Pounds, yet Syria’s President Assad still reigns supreme.

But we are supposed to believe that ISIS can just walk in and take over whole swaths of the country – including military bases, town, hospitals, Nutella factories, etc, etc and no cunt does nothing about it!

Read this old bollox:

Born out of the Iraqi War in 2003, Islamic State’s deadly grip has stretched across the Middle East and into northern-Africa where today, only the Mediterranean Sea separates the militants from Europe.

It has conquered regions of Iraq, Syria and recently Libya while building a terrifying support structure in Turkey, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Egypt’s Sinai Province, Afghanistan, Tunisia and Algeria.

And this tyrannical expansion is all part of its ‘global strategy’ to seize control of destablised countries while ‘engaging in all-out battle against the West,’ The Institute for the Study of War told MailOnline.   

Counter-terrorism analyst Harleen Gambhir said: ‘What we’ve started to see is ISIS has begun to accelerate its operation to activate these sleeper groups that its reaching out to and it’s having international effects.’ Source

Growth of terror: Since its formation as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria in 2013 - it has conquered regions of Iraq, Syria and recently Libya - while building support among marginalised Muslims in Turkey, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Egypt's Sinai Province, Afghanistan, Tunisia and Algeria


Fuck that, stay where you are. I feel sure that you will be fine.

You see, according to the Chimp ISIS is 30,000 strong but we in the UK have more than 191,000 full time armed service personnel with more than 45,000 reservists to boot… Imagine how many the Americans have.

ISIS began as Al-Qaeda in Iraq in 2004 and militants had just 1,000 soldiers, but it has grown to more than 30,000 Source

However, if you believe that map above, the countries represented with an ISIS presence works out at one terrorist for every 122,000 Square Miles – if my maths is correct.

And since England is made up of around 50,000 Square Miles, pro rata, we must have an ISIS presence of  1 dwarf… The script writers haven’t really thought this through have they.

Or put in other words; there is no terrorism threat. Well none apart from what the Cunt Cameron and Gay Barry decide on anyway.

You are being sold a lie.

But the more that people buy into the shit, the more danger we are in.

So I will say it again… THERE IS NO TERRORIST THREAT.


I mean, would a gang of marauding British Rebels be allowed to just take over the North Sea Oil Fields?

Course not, even though our armed forces are stretched to the limit… So why would President Assad allow such bollocks to happen?

Well actually, Mad Bad Assad not only allows it to happen he is cooperative with his invaders:

In its most recent report on ISIS’s funding, RBSS outlines ten ways the militants fund their crusade to create a Muslim caliphate.

The group claims that ISIS and the Syrian government has struck a secret deal which enables the militants to sell electricity and gas to the Assad regime. 

The Islamic State controls several important dams as well as a gas field in its occupied areas of Syria. Source

Yet we are supposed to believe that Assad is such a mental cunt, the West has to have him overthrown at any cost!

He sounds a bit of a pussy to me.

Course, the above article gives us a bit more insight into how the Terrorist Group earn their money… Although they control so much land they are hardly a Terrorist Organisation are they?

Never the less, you will like this:


Proper fucking organised aren’t they!

Notice the Source: Raqqa is Being Slaughtered Silently (RBSS)… Stop laughing. Indeed, ISIS citizens have to pay for Gas, Electric, Phone Calls and Petrol, the poor, poor bastards.

Mind you if ISIS stands for Israeli Secret Intelligence Service then RBSS probably stands for Royal Bank of Scotland Silly.

And then the apparently “media savvy” terrorists constantly chat about their exploits on Twitter and Facebook… Or so we are told. Not that any of them have ever re-tweeted me:

Twitter faced a backlash last night after it was revealed the three British ‘jihadi brides’ were ruthlessly groomed online.

The internet giant was accused of allowing the vulnerable teenagers to be ‘brainwashed in their bedrooms’.

It came as the straight-A pupils’ distraught families begged them to come home amid fears they have already reached Syria after being radicalised on Twitter.

One of the girls was ‘following’ more than 70 known extremists on the site – many of them thought to be Islamic State fighters.

This would have exposed her to a stream of graphic material – including footage of beheadings and the mutilated bodies of children. But despite these accounts being well known, none has been suspended by Twitter bosses.

At least one of the girls is also thought to have been contacted directly using Twitter by a female IS fighter. Source

Yet post a bad taste joke about the Glasgow hoax on Twitter and you have the plod on your doorstep quicker than you can put LOL at the end of the Tweet.

Mind you, apparently one of the runaway schoolgirl’s fathers hasn’t stopped crying since his daughter fucked off… Although he managed to do so long enough to give the Monkey Boys an interview:

Abase Hussen, 47, said his daughter Amira told him she was going to a wedding last Tuesday before travelling to Gatwick.

Clutching a teddy bear dressed in a Chelsea FC shirt which she gave to her mother, he recalled: ‘She said “daddy, I’m in a hurry”. There was no sign to suspect her at all.’

“Told him that she was going to a wedding” !!!

As if:“Oh righto love… Don’t be too late home, you have school in the morning”.


Course, the Chelsea teddybear is a dead giveaway to the story being bollocks.

And then we get treated to their CIA sponsored beheading videos that are that poor in production and special FX that the old bill threaten to arrest anyone who watches them… So what is the script writers answer to no bastard believing the beheadings?

They stage Chop, Chop, Chop of Your Heads en masse and with 7ft 20 ins tall butchers to do the job to boot… But at least they do it at the seaside.

Well, its a day out innit?

Indeed, it has got so fucking pathetic that even the MSM are backtracking – but only partially mind:

Parts of a sickening video released by Islamic State militants that shows members of the terror group beheading 21 Coptic Christians have been faked, experts have claimed.

The footage, which lasts five minutes, shows the Egyptian Christians dressed in jumpsuits being marched one by one along a lonely beach, each held by a fighter clad in black. Source

“Parts of a sickening video”!!!

See, the dumb-fuck, bottom clenching, prats are still maintain that the head chop, chopping is authentic… Its the arrival by the lofty villains that is fake… ARE YOU FUCKING SURE?

Doctored? The executioners appear to be seven-foot tall in this still taken from the sickening footage

Either that or Copycat Christians – or whatever they are fucking called – are all short arses.

And yet it needed “Experts” to work out that the videos were bollox!

Just who the fuck are these experts?


Yet the Harlem Globetrotters soon fucking shrink when the video quality improves.

You couldn’t make this shite up.

It is believed the actual murders were filmed in a different location and the sea was added at a later stage 

Going from Right to Left I reckon 2, 3, and 5 are the same bloke and I know for definite that 6 & 8 are the same fella.

The man in black on the far right is busy having his knife beamed up to the Starship Enterprise, as is number two – the shit.

And of course, Jihadi John Lennon – Imagine that – can’t be wearing his normal black attire… He’s special.

He’s a Beatle and as such has to dress different… In Camouflange.


Hold the fuck up!

Two of them are the same fucking fella! Oh hang on, it’s okay. Its just 6 & 8… My bad.

Course, with the beheadings becoming a bit old hat, the Evil Kin Evils needed another way to scare the bejesus out of their mushy pea brained readership.

“Burn em”!

“What  a jolly good idea Tristan… Burn the buggers in a cage”

So that’s what they did, don’t cha know!


I suppose that he could of just flipped the cage over… I used to do a bit of steel fixing so I know there wont be that much weight in the cage… Then again, they would have probably shot him, so he chose the more painful option.

Course, when no fucker believed the video’s authenticity, because the fella was so laid back about going up, up, up in a puff of smoke, the script writers came up with a gem didn’t they?


That is pure comedy gold that is.  No wonder the cunt got lost in the fog.

So that was a shit idea too then. But what next?

“How about we don’t behead them… Or burn them… Now work with me here Carruthers… How about we drive them about a bit”?

In the latest propaganda video from Islamic State, hostages are paraded in cages through the packed streets of Iraq to cheers and jeers.

But in a cruel twist, the orange jumpsuit-clad prisoners are interviewed by their captors – ahead of their presumably grim fate.

The nine-minute video allegedly shows 21 Kurdish Peshmerga fighters, who are paraded through the crowded streets of the Iraqi province of Kirkuk, before being seemingly marched to their deaths.

Give me fucking strength! Tristran and Carruthers have been watching too much fucking TV, me thinks.


And of course, ISIS have chemical weapons… Just like Saddam had:

Islamic State has acquired a cache of deadly chemical weapons in Libya which pose a significant threat to European security, a British expert has warned.

According to Middle East reports, the terror group has unconfirmed quantities of sarin and mustard gas after defeating government forces in southern and central Libya.

Former British Army officer Hamish de Bretton-Gordon told The Mail on Sunday that the weapons remain dangerous, even though they are likely to be ten years old, and in a degraded state.

Mr de Bretton-Gordon based his warning on President Assad’s use of one tonne of sarin in Ghouta, Syria, in August 2013, which killed as many as 1,000 peopleSource

As if! … “As if” as in, as if anyone in the world is actually called Hamish de Bretton-Gordon.

Fuck me you would never introduce yourself would you?

“Oh hello and what might your name be”?

“Och, helloooo, mah names Hami… Mah names Dave pal”.

And as for the chemical weapons… Does Ham Gordon not know that it wasn’t President Assad who carried out the false flag chemical weapon attack for fucks sake?

Or perhaps he had a better source of information.


Indeed, it all gets too silly for words.

But then again, what do you expect from a CIA created rag-tag bunch of tewwowists?

I mean, you only need look at their flag to know who is calling the shots.


Can ya see what it sez yet?

Best tell em Paddy:

Paddy McGuiness's dating show Take Me Out scores first engaged couple 2